paragraphwolfthorn... he had never been a fan of otterfur, the brown tom knew. he had always been so protective over rosemist, and with good reason, it seemed. rosemist was gone, and otterfur had tried hard to get far away from bearclan, to put as much distance between himself and the shadows that would never leave him alone. so he kept his head even lower, knowing that it was only a matter of time under direfang came to him, and so he did.
paragraph"direfang," sagecloud greeted while they shared their evening meal. hurricanejaw had been busy grooming his fur while sagecloud regaled them of her most recent visit with brindlepelt, and otterfur watched as the sturdy silver tabby approached. "come, sit," sagecloud offered, nodding to a space on hurricanejaw's other side. "i was hoping that we could get hurricanejaw to tell us another story like last moon before it gets too cold to sit outside for the rest of the season. i'm concerned that my whiskers are going to freeze soon, and -" but direfang cut her off, managing a tight smile that otterfur noticed was all teeth.
paragraph"i was actually hoping to talk to otterfur for a moment, if i can?" he asked. otterfur watched sagecloud and hurricanejaw exchange a glance, but neither of them knew the truth. if anything, otterfur assumed that they thought it was strange for the secrecy, but direfang only had eyes for otterfur, who knew better than to linger or deny.
paragraph"'course," he said, hoping that his tone sounded just as flat and nonchalant as he wanted it to as he rose to his paws to follow the other knight. to sagecloud, he tipped his head towards hurricanejaw. "maybe you can convince him by the time i get back? i'd like to hear a story too." without waiting for his friend's answer, he hurried after direfang towards the opposite end of the camp, hoping that the others would be too preoccupied in their conversation to notice how his paws twitched nervously and how he couldn't bring himself to look them in the eyes.
paragraphbut it was even harder to look at direfang when the silver tom turned on him, his eyes blazing with what could only be described as rage. "this game you're playing stops here," direfang said, and otterfur fought to keep his fur from bristling, from letting the rest of the clan know that they were arguing about something so dark, so dreadful, that he knew he would be exiled for it. "i see through you, otterfur. i know who you are, and this cat you're pretending to be... he isn't the real you." direfang's tail swished though the air, impatient, and otterfur backed up a step from the other former-bearclan warrior. "i know who you really are, and i know what you've done."
paragraphotterfur shook his head vigorously, and he felt the all-too familiar quake in his heart, the same nerves that he had been trying to will away since he left bearclan. "did you follow me here just to torment me?" he asked, hearing the hollow tones in his own voice. "do you really hate me so much that you had to track me down when i was trying to get away? i left viperstar, and i'm scared every single day that he'll come to drag me back. so i left, direfang, i left and i don't want to be like i was ever again."
paragraph"bearclan's gone, haven't you heard?" direfang said after a beat, and it was the first time that otterfur didn't hear the rasp of a snarl in his voice. if anything, he sounded suddenly bemused and curious when otterfur blinked at him, uncertain. "after your lot left, the bear came into our camp with a fox. they killed so many cats, and then a storm set our camp on fire. bearclan's gone."
paragraphotterfur felt the breath knock out of his lungs. "no," he whispered quietly, and the strength left him when direfang stepped forward to stand over him, glowering.
paragraph"rosemist's gone, otterfur. and bearclan is gone. last i saw your sons, they were fleeing for their lives, and they're gone." otterfur hung his head at direfang's words, and he knew that the other knight wasn't lying. direfang's lip curled and he swished his tail again. "there was no sign of viperstar, so maybe the bear killed him, too. you should've been there. it was your fault. you let it happen, you let it get to the point where the bear came to us and killed us. it's your fault, and i should tell highgarden to drive you out now. how do you think they would react if they found out that they had a murderer among them? what do you think they would do to you?"
paragraphthose questions resounded so fully in otterfur's ears as the same questions he asked himself whenever sagecloud laughed at a joke he made, or when dippernose rattled on about the happenings of his day. he thought of hurricanejaw and mapleshadow driving him out of the clan he had already come to love, and his stomach churned. "i'm trying to be different, direfang. i want to be different, i want to be better," otterfur said, and he dared to glance up at the other knight. "if you want me gone so badly, why haven't you told them yet?"
paragraphdirefang sniffed at that, apathetic to otterfur's pleads and the way his eyes had glossed over with unshed tears, glassy with fear. "prove it," he said simply. "some of the most honorable cats here seem to like you. prove it to me that you deserve their trust. but if you slip up, then i'll make sure everyone knows what you've done and that you're a danger." at that, direfang began to turn away, pausing only to glance over his shoulder at otterfur. "you've got one chance. if you want a second chance so badly, then fight for it. prove that you deserve it." and otterfur watched him pad away, and took the time to slowly come back into himself and steady out his breathing before he could rejoin sagecloud and hurricanejaw, who looked up at him with curious eyes.
paragraphsagecloud had continued to speak about her time with brindlepelt, and though neither of them pressed, hurricanejaw leaned over to otterfur while sagecloud was distracted. "you alright?" he asked quietly, keeping his voice low for only otterfur to hear. "you look a little... skittish."
paragraph"i'm fine," otterfur said, and he knew that it came out too quickly, too rushed to be genuine. hurricanejaw blinked at him again, but didn't push any further. instead, he let otterfur get to his paws shortly after and turn in for an early night. for a while, he laid in his nest, his tail over his nose and eyes shut tight, and thought of what the bearclan camp must have looked like in the blaze, and he wished on all of starclan and the highgarden gods that his sons were still alive.
paragraphas the days passed on, it wasn't long until tawnyrose left her den and began to return to camp life, no longer allowing merlinsong to keep her confined to her den. for much of the day, the kits stayed in the nursery with ferretwhisker and flickersky, letting tawnyrose take her business to the knights and roses. she helped organize patrols with bluetcrest in the morning, and by evening she was socializing with riverfoam's group. "i'm sorry we didn't get a chance to meet formally before now," tawnyrose was saying. her glance skimmed from ayalla and kitechaser to riverfoam and tanagercall. "but bluetcrest and the others have reported great things about what you all have been doing."
paragraphriverfoam swished her tail, letting out a low, easy purr. "of course we understand. highgarden has been very warm and welcoming to us," she began, only to let out a laugh when kitechaser added in:
paragraph"even if the weather hasn't been very warm," the calico said, and tawnyrose purred, her whiskers twitching in amusement. "and we saw your mate with the kits yesterday. they're very cute," kitechaser said.
paragraph"little lightkit already looks so much like you," ayalla added, and tawnyrose grinned at that, her head tipping elegantly.
paragraph"thank you, that's very kind of you to say," she said. to ayalla, she inclined her head with a polite smile. "jaytalon tells me that you've been trying to teach him better tree-climbing skills."
paragraphwhen ayalla ducked her head, bashful, tanagercall flicked her tail. "ayalla climbs trees better than squirrels. you won't find anyone better than her." though ayalla shoved her friend with her shoulder, the others voiced their agreement. they all fell silent when tawnyrose raised her tail, quieting them before ayalla could strike an argument.
paragraph"i believe it. i've also heard that kitechaser is faster than tigergaze and dippernose," she said, and kitechaser seemed to stand up a little straighter at that. "and smallheart said that riverfoam could track prey scents further than anyone else on patrol." at last, the queen's eyes lingered on tanagercall, who met her gaze without wavering. "i heard that you used to be a housepet, is that right?"
paragraph"it's true," tanagercall said without any hesitation.
paragraphriverfoam took a step forward, as if to step between her friend and the queen. "tanagercall hasn't been a housepet for many moons, and while we were traveling, we all taught her everything we could, she's just as skilled as the rest of us, and -"
paragraph"riverfoam," tanagercall broke in, cutting the eldest of the small group off. her eyes remained locked with tawnyrose's, and the queen's mouth twisted with a small smile.
paragraph"when i first became queen of highgarden," tawnyrose said after a beat of quiet. "i didn't know what to think of those who weren't wild-born. highgarden in my parents' time never would have allowed housepets into our ranks. but, i realized something very quickly..." he paused, letting her eyes trail again over the four newest roses. "i learned that there are different types of skills. to have made it this far for so long, and to be commended by senior knights and roses, that is enough for me." tanagercall exchanged a sideways glance with riverfoam, who nudged her friend encouragingly. "again, my apologies that i couldn't have formally greeted you sooner. but welcome to highgarden, all of you." she directed her attention to tanagercall again. "if you need any help, let me direct you to otterfur. he's a little skittish, but he's kind, and he's been a clan cat for a long time. don't hesitate to go to him, just tell him that i sent you." and then the queen turned, excusing herself politely.
paragraph"tawnyrose," tanagercall called when the queen had taken only several steps away. tawnyrose looked back over her shoulder, and tanagercall shuffled her paws. "what made you change your mind?"
paragraphtawnyrose smiled at that, and she flicked her tail. "i met a cat who changed my mind about what housecats are capable of." without waiting for any other response, she bounded away until she crossed the clearing to where bluetcrest was sitting with pythoneyes. her attendant grinned broadly at her approach, and the queen touched her nose to pythoneyes' in greeting before she went to bluetcrest's side. she rested her chin on her friend's shoulder, and bluetcrest leaned against her while they spoke.
paragrapheven though it was cold, clovershine wasn't surprised when betonypetal suggested that they go out hunting together for a little bit. there was a distinct nip in the air, and clovershine knew it was only a matter of time that another snowstorm hit and plunged highgarden under snowbanks, and bluetcrest had been increasing the number of hunting patrols for the season to make sure that the clan would be fed, even more so with more kits on the way. so, when betonypetal asked for clovershine to join her, he wasn't able to deny her, even though his gut twisted with anticipation and the knowledge of what was to come.
paragraphstill, the longer they were out, trekking through the rose pass and beyond, all the way to the old tower, betonypetal didn't push him, and clovershine finally recognized that she was waiting for him to speak first. so, when they finally reached highgarden's secondary camp at the old tower, clovershine slowed his pace to a walk and turned to betonypetal. "ask me," he said, and betonypetal frowned. she hesitated, only to nod to the old tower, silent, but clovershine didn't need to hear her say anything. the wind was picking up and clovershine felt the chill slice through his fur. he knew that betonypetal was likely getting cold as well. so, when they had settled in one of the dens saved for the springtime, he straightened up again. "you've been wanting to ask me since last moon. you can ask," he said, and betonypetal didn't hesitate.
paragraph"why were you and birchflame fighting?" she asked, and clovershine held her gaze. it was a long story, and not all of it was his to tell, he knew that. but he also knew that it was only a matter of time under betonypetal asked, until someone asked what wedged between the two knights who were once joined at the hip. he couldn't tell betonypetal about birchflame and tawnyrose; he couldn't tell her the truth, but he could tell her some version of some truths, and he hoped that, for now, it would be enough.
paragraph"i never told you where i came from, have i?" he asked, and betonypetal's eyes widened when she shook her head. "it was called azgeda, or the ice nation. it was... a rough clan, at times. when i was still a young warrior, i watched our leader be killed. she was assassinated. that's the type of home birchflame and i came from before we found highgarden. every day, we worried that someone might turn on us with their claws, that another assassin would rise up because they disagreed with the way the clan was run. every time there was an argument or any disagreement, you had to fight to be right." the longer he spoke, the more he could see betonypetal's unease, and clovershine had to look away so that he didn't see the shock in her eyes as he became a monster in her sight. "i had a different name, then. when birchflame and i left, the ice nation was falling. there was a change in leadership, and cats were uneasy. we had to leave, or... or else i don't know what could have happen, or what did happen. i just wanted to get away."
paragraphbetonypetal lowered her head to look at clovershine. her eyes searched his face for a long moment, and he couldn't read her expression. "what does this have to do with your fight with birchflame?"
paragraph"it means that when we fight... we fight. and it's not right, and i'm sorry that you had to see it but the way that we express our anger is different than others would. i don't know how to not use my claws, it's all i've ever known," clovershine said. he sighed heavily and drew his tail closer to himself. "birchflame was the one cat i thought i would always be able to rely on, you know? we got each other out of the ice nation, we found highgarden, we fought in the tournament. and all of that... we did it together. we never needed anyone else, but then he started to be more distant. i asked him about it, and he pushed back. he... no, i overreacted. i did, and i know i can't take it back, but my anger got the best of me. i became who i tried to distance myself from. i left the ice nation, i changed my name, and yet i still reverted back to who i was, and i'm ashamed."
paragraphoutside, the wind tore at the den, but betonypetal was silent for a long time. then, at last, she sniffed the air. "i think that you're confused, clovershine," she said, and clovershine sucked in a deep breath. "you're caught between who you were, who you are, and who you think you are. you're not the cat that you were back then, but i don't think you are who you think, either." she studied his face again, taking in his features as if in a new light.
paragraph"then who am i?" he asked, and betonypetal shrugged.
paragraph"you're you," betonypetal answered. "you're clovershine. and that's reality. whatever birchflame said that set you off... he must have been hurting, too, to say something if he knew that it would make you that upset, and -"
paragraph"it was you," clovershine heard himself say, cutting her off. he cleared his throat and shuffled his paws. "i... i like you, betonypetal. i like you a lot. i like talking to you, i like listening to you. i like being with you, and you make me feel different. when i'm with you, i feel like i'm better. i don't feel as angry, i don't feel sad, i don't feel like i have to worry about anything when i'm with you, because i can only think about how happy you make me, and how happy i want to make you." this must have come to a shock to betonypetal, who gazed at clovershine with wide eyes. when she didn't say anything, clovershine shrugged and ducked his head. "he said that i couldn't know if you cared about me, and i... i was upset. because i want you to care about me, but maybe he's right. what i want and what's true are two different things."
paragraphfinally, betonypetal seemed to gather herself, and she reached out a paw in clovershine's direction. "he's wrong. of course i care about you," she said, and clovershine's ears pricked, suddenly alert. "i care about you so much, and i just want you to be happy. when i saw you fighting birchflame, i was scared. not because i was worried that you'd hurt him, or that he would hurt you but... because i never want to see you not be happy. and he did hurt you, and you did hurt him, but i also thought... what would i do if something happened to you? like, really happened? you shine so brightly when you laugh and when you smile, and i want to be around you all of the time," she said.
paragraph"betonypetal -" clovershine began, but she kept speaking.
paragraph"but i can't if you don't know who you are. i'm not asking you to change, but i'm asking you to realize that you're more than you think, and better then whoever you used to be." she blinked, considering him again. "what was your old name?" she asked.
paragraph"storm," clovershine said, and it tasted like dirt on his tongue. it was a bitter name, and old name, a name that he never wanted to belong to again. it was a name that was his and wasn't his at the same time.
paragraph"storm..." betonypetal echoed. "you're not storm. you're clovershine, and you need to realize who clovershine is before we can... before we can figure out who we are." she leaned forward then and gently traced her nose along the mark that was beginning to scar below his eye. though merlinsong had said it was nothing serious, clovershine knew enough about scars to know when one would last; the mark birchflame gave him would last the rest of his life. her touch was warming, and clovershine breathed out a deep sigh.
paragraph"i love you," he whispered, and betonypetal pulled back.
paragraph"who does?" she asked, and clovershine opened his mouth to reply, only to snap it shut at the gleam in her eyes. grimly, he nodded, and betonypetal flashed him a tight smile. together, they sat in the abandoned camp for a little while, listening as the wind pulled at the world outside. but inside, it was warmer, and clovershine felt some of the tension begin to ease from his shoulders.
paragraphthey met in the summer, when their paths first crossed, when there was a warm breeze that stirred wolverine's fur and made him forget of everything that happened during the cold seasons. even as a kit, summer had always been his favorite season, with the sunlight to warm his fur and the cheerful bird chatter. it brought him a sense of peace - he'd survived another winter, the world still turned, and all was well. by contrast, arctic seemed to thrive in the colder seasons and had been sluggish for majority of the warmer days. however, when the leaves began to turn and wolverine knew that his time with his new friend was coming to an end, arctic surprised him. the cat that spent majority of the time complaining about the heat and lounging in the shade bounded to life at the first frost of the year, as if new life had been breathed into him. but just when wolverine was ready to leave arctic behind, they found them... and wolverine knew that their days were numbered.
paragraphthey were small, and wolverine knew that they wouldn't last long without a nursing queen to feed them. the small white tom mewled pitifully, and the dark tortoiseshell hadn't spoken since the pair of toms found the two kits huddled together, shivering to keep warm. even still, the little molly had a lot of fight for someone her size, and she extended thorn-sharp claws the first time arctic tried to get close, hissing with all of the ferocity she could manage, and it had taken arctic and wolverine some time before they could convince her that they wanted to help. even then, she spoke little, and wolverine noticed how tired she was, how much she shivered when arctic tried to hold her close and warm her up. it was only after the kits had fallen asleep at his friend's flank when wolverine nodded to arctic.
paragraph"you're pretty good at that," wolverine said, and arctic smiled crookedly.
paragraph"i had kits some seasons ago. they'd been rascals, all of them," arctic said, and wolverine knew better than to ask any further questions. for all of the strength in arctic's shoulders, and as much as he liked to give off a cool exterior, wolverine had seen it many times over: the look of a cat who was one step from falling off the ledge into despair. it was feeling that he knew just as well as anyone else, as well. there were some places that he couldn't and wouldn't ever push. arctic, however, appeared to see through wolverine just as well, drawing the kits closer to his belly to keep them warm. "you have that look in you... the look when a cat's getting ready to up and run. you're leaving."
paragraphfor a long moment, it was all wolverine could do to blink at his friend before he dipped his head. "i was planning to. but not now... they need us both." arctic shrugged his shoulders and used to tail to smooth down a clump of the white kit's fur.
paragraph"even with you here, they won't last long without a queen and somewhere safe," arctic said, and wolverine wasn't surprised at the revelation. instead, he looked towards the darkened horizon, where he could make out the faint outline of distinct mountains in the distance. with any luck, there was a valley there, and he knew what lie within.
paragraph"i know where we are," wolverine said, toneless. "an old friend told me that there used to be a clan living in a valley of flowers." arctic followed wolverine's line of sight, letting out a low, unimpressed grunt. "he said that he was washed away from his home, but rumor had it that the clan's been growing again. with luck, the rumors are right and they can help us."
paragraph"and we can expect to meet your friend there?" arctic asked, and wolverine turned his cheek away in answer. there was hurt in his eyes, and arctic clicked his tongue after a beat, recognizing wolverine's answer for what it was. "fine, then... what's it called?"
paragraph"highgarden," wolverine said, and by the time dawn rose, silhouetting the mountains and the valley, they set off with the kits. with winter in full swing, wolverine felt the telltale press of the curse thrumming against him, waiting for its moment to strike. he had mentioned only once to arctic that the winter made him... different, but arctic hadn't pressed, and wolverine hadn't answered. instead, his friend gave wolverine his space, though the bicolor knew that he was losing his fur in clumps as the monster slowly woke from its slumber, and arctic noticed. because arctic noticed things like that.
paragraphthey made good time, and the weather held for them. by the time the sun reached its height, they had crossed a border of scent markings, and arctic sent wolverine a surprised glance. they each carried a kit, and wolverine's neck began to ache from the little tom's weight. at the height of the day, they reached an agreement, and they settled in a small clearing, where the sun shone brightly overhead, and arctic took the time to show wolverine how to groom the kits' fur to keep them warm.
paragraph"there you go," arctic was saying between licks of the molly's dark fur. when he opened his mouth to speak again, however, he went suddenly rigid and, in one smooth motion, shoved the little kit to wolverine. "there's someone here," he said. in that same moment, wolverine felt his fur bristle at the back of his neck. he stood protectively over the kits to shield them, and they bunched together between his legs. arctic shot wolverine a concerned glance, but wolverine merely flicked his ears in a silent signal. voices carried on the wind, moving closer, and arctic slipped among the treeline, stealthy. at last, a strange shout rose about the trees:
paragraph"you're on our territ -" but the speaker didn't have a chance to finish before his black and white form broke into the clearing, and arctic was on him in a heartbeat, bowling him over. together, they rolled for the length of the clearing before arctic managed to pin the larger tom down. a small group fanned out, and a young spotted tabby let out a surprised yowl before bunching her muscles, ready to launch herself at arctic, though the pinned tom shouted again: "iguanaspots, no," he ordered, and the tabby stilled, though her eyes flicked between wolverine and arctic. when arctic said nothing and made no move to let the tom up, the leader of the patrol fell still. "my name is hurricanejaw, and you're trespassing on highgarden's territory." finally, arctic looked instead to wolverine.
paragraph"was that the name you said?" arctic asked, his brow arching. "this is highgarden?" wolverine nodded, and the patrol's gaze swept towards him. at last, arctic shrugged and moved off of hurricanejaw. "someone should teach you lot to move faster and protect your sides," he commented, wrinkling his nose before bounding back towards wolverine's side. "alright then, we're burning daylight, let's get back to the camp. lead the way." while the patrol exchanged confused glances, arctic scooped up the white kit by the scruff and nodded to hurricanejaw, who blinked his bewilderment.
paragraph"i don't understand exactly what's happening here -" hurricanejaw began, but wolverine stepped forward at last, giving the small tortoiseshell a gentle nudge with his nose.
paragraph"my friend and i have been traveling and we found these kits. they need a queen to take care of them," wolverine explained, and one of the other patrol members stepped forward. she was pretty, a long-furred brown tabby. she met arctic first, leaning forward to give each of the kits a sniff before her gaze swept back towards hurricanejaw, and they exchanged a swift, unreadable glance. at last, hurricanejaw inclined his chin towards wolverine, who took it as a gesture to continue speaking. "i heard of highgarden some time ago and was hoping you could help us."
paragraph"who told you about us?" that was a smaller tabby tom, who tipped his head to one side, curious.
paragraph"i've been traveling for a long time, and i met a cat who said he was one of the princes of highgarden. he said that he had been washed away in a flood, and rumors had it that highgarden had rebuilt since he was last home. he said that he supposed his sister had taken over as queen... lighteyes, is it? or lightrose?" at wolverine's words, hurricanejaw straightened and gestured toward a small ginger molly. he only said a few words before the little molly tore away in the opposite direction, kicking up dirt as she went, and arctic shot wolverine a sideways glance.
paragraph"according to our current queen, lighteyes was her sister and should have been made queen. unfortunately he was killed in the flood. our queen is tawnyrose, lighteyes' sister... if your story is true, she would want to hear it," hurricanejaw said after a beat. the brown tabby tom stepped forward, hesitating for just a beat before wolverine let him take the little tortoiseshell kit. "please, follow me. we'll take you to highgarden."
paragraphfor a long time, tawnyrose could only blink at the pair of cats across from her. "say it again," she said to the gray and white tom, but softglow interjected from her shoulder.
paragraph"he's already said it three times, my queen," softglow said, and tawnyrose flicked her tail, impatient.
paragraph"and i want to hear him say it again," she shot back, and softglow dipped his head. at tawnyrose's over shoulder, she noticed that bluetcrest was fidgeting, but he offered no comment, leaving tawnyrose to stare at the bicolor until he said it again:
paragraph"he said his name was yewbloom, prince of highgarden," the cat, who hurricanejaw had introduced as wolverine, said, and tawnyrose held his stare until the younger tom looked away, unable to bare the weight of the queen's expectant gaze. 'we met several seasons ago, and he mentioned hearing that highgarden had been rebuilt."
paragraph"say it again," tawnyrose said after a beat, but this time it was the other cat, arctic, who stepped forward. "i mean no disrespect, tawnyrose, but wolverine and i have been traveling for a long time. he's already said yewbloom's name and his story several times. we're exhausted, and i think it would be in the better interest of everyone if we can move on."
paragraph"move on," tawnyrose echoed, drawing the words out carefully. her tail flicked again, and the way she wrinkled her nose suggested that she disliked the way the sounds rolled off of her tongue. "the last time i saw any of my family, it was to find my sister's body washed ashore and she was dead. along with my mother, my father, and my other sisters. as far as i know, i am the only surviving member of my family. and now he," she said, jutting her nose in wolverine's direction, "comes out of no where to say that he has met my brother. no... i don't think i will be moving on from this," she said, but bluetcrest finally shifted, turning to face the queen.
paragraph"surely it's not impossible that yewbloom is alive after this time," he said, and tawnyrose let out a low sigh.
paragraph"he always wanted to leave highgarden for some great adventure... no, i never thought it would be impossible, he was always the one wandering off, never wanted anything to do with our family and the clan," she said, pondering this so deeply that she missed the look bluetcrest and softglow exchanged. at last, tawnyrose sniffed and looked to wolverine and arctic. "are you intending to stay with highgarden?" she asked.
paragraph"no," wolverine said, at the same moment that arctic said: "yes." tawnyrose said nothing in return, merely glanced between the pair. at last, with arctic's sharp blue eyes trained on his, wolverine sagged and nodded slowly, and arctic looked to tawnyrose. "those kits needed a home, and my time of wandering is done. i think it's time to settle," he said, and when wolverine murmured his agreement, tawnyrose shrugged and nodded to bluetcrest.
paragraph"good," she said. "in this trying season, we ask that every able cat pull their weight. bluetcrest organizes patrols at dawn every day, and you can get on the rotation tomorrow." then, to arctic, she nodded her head. "i do ask that you don't attack the other knights and roses again." when arctic dipped his head, hiding his muffled laugh, tawnyrose didn't interrupt, but instead glanced between the two new members. "if the kits have names, then they may keep them. you may, as well, choose if you would like to keep your names or be given new ones, and you can let me know your decision later. for now, we have other business to attend to here. i expect you know your way out," she dismissed them, and they didn't miss their cue wolverine got to his paws quickly, though arctic waved his tail towards tawnyrose, softglow, and bluetcrest. it was only after they were gone that tawnyrose rolled her eyes and shifted so that she was lying down. "tell me we're almost done for the day, i'm tired," she said, and bluetcrest shot her a tight smile.
paragraph"nearly done," he said, only for his smile to waver when tawnyrose gestured for him to continue. when he looked to the king for help, softglow blew out a sigh.
paragraph"we still need to talk about the erasmus situation," he said, and, within an instant, tawnyrose's mood soured. she frowned deeply and rested her chin on her paws, but softglow wasn't so easily dissuaded. "this is important. after what happened with juniperstorm... we need to discuss what we should do."
paragraph"the groveclan cat was never supposed to see him," tawnyrose snapped, though softglow was used to her anger and didn't even blink. "it's why we never sent him on patrols near groveclan and kept an eye on him at all times." at that, her eyes flicked to bluetcrest, who shook his head slightly.
paragraph"sagecloud and i have been doing all we can, and how were we to ever know that she would come to highgarden? groveclan has kept their distance for a long time, they respect the borders."
paragraph"yet she came here anyway," tawnyrose said, and bluetcrest could only shrug his shoulders at that.
paragraphstill, softglow let out a long sigh. "there's nothing we can do about juniperstorm and groveclan now. what happened in the past has happened. we need to control the damages. we can count ourselves lucky that badgerstar hasn't tried to come here since finding out, or that our own cats haven't tried to dig any deeper."
paragraph"hornetshade and otterfur heard everything that was said," bluetcrest pointed out, but tawnyrose scoffed at that.
paragraph"otterfur is scared of his own shadow, and tanagercall will keep him too busy to do anything of notice, i've made sure of it," she said, though her whiskers twitched when she considered the other tom. "hornetshade, however..."
paragraph"he's loyal," softglow said, though bluetcrest snorted quietly.
paragraph"also impulsive and in his own head a lot," the attendant said. "and juniperstorm was looking for him. lest we forget how friendly he was with badgerstar's son."
paragraph"still," softglow interrupted. "it's better to risk that he'll move on than try to push him. like you said, he's impulsive and in his own head. if we push him, who knows what he'll feel the need to do in turn?" at last, bluetcrest murmured his reluctant agreement, and tawnyrose kept her mouth shut. at that, softglow felt the first inch of closing in on rationale, and he looked to tawnyrose. "we should get rid of him while we can, before badgerstar sends groveclan to our border. we should exile him and send badgerstar an envoy to try and keep the peace." it was a bold statement, but bluetcrest's eyes were round, and softglow knew that it was exactly as he had been thinking. still, as always, tawnyrose and her king didn't meet eye-to-eye.
paragraph"no," she said curtly. "if badgerstar hasn't retaliated yet, then he won't. groveclan aren't violent, and it's better to keep erasmus where we can keep on eye on him. don't forget that we have the only cat he cares about." the three shared a knowing glance with their shared knowledge of erasmus and spencer, and tawnyrose hummed thoughtfully. "we have spencer, and badgerstar knows that we didn't kill his kit. highgarden has done no wrong, he has no reason to attack us," she said, but this time it was bluetcrest who tried to argue.
paragraph"even if we didn't kill the kit, erasmus admitted it. by morals alone, we should exile him," bluetcrest said, uneasy. he looked to softglow for help again, and the king merely shrugged his shoulders; tawnyrose had a better chance of listening to bluetcrest, and they both knew it.
paragraphhowever, tawnyrose finally rose to her paws and waved her tail dismissively. "for now, we stand down. we carry on as usual. the more we overreact, the more fallout we'll have to deal with. if badgerstar makes a move, then we deal with it. but erasmus won't do anything so long as we have spencer. bluetcrest, i want you and sagecloud to watch him more than ever. if he so much as snores in his sleep, i want to know of it." reluctantly, bluetcrest dipped his head, though softglow's blue eyes were cold, and tawnyrose frowned at him. "we do nothing, softglow. highgarden is in high spirits because of the kits, and i intend to keep it that way. keep them content, and they'll ask less questions. do you understand?" when softglow said nothing, tawnyrose rolled her eyes. "you're dismissed from this meeting, both of you. your worry makes me feel sick." with that, she shouldered her way out of the den, leaving softglow and bluetcrest to look at one another through the shadows.
paragraph"this is bad, isn't it?" bluetcrest said, and it wasn't a question. softglow let out a final sigh and hunched his shoulders.
paragraph"and i fear it may get worse."
paragraph"do you keep track of whenever i happen to be on the night watch?" hornetshade asked in the quiet of the night, and ferretwhisker hesitated on her approach towards the young tabby, one paw poised mid-air. when hornetshade didn't say anything further, however, and she caught only the faintest trace of sharp hostility on his tone, she pressed on until she reached his shoulder. though his eyes didn't budge from his steady stare at the camp entrance, ferretwhisker noticed the way he squared his shoulders, and she let out a long exhale through her nose.
paragraph"i'm not sure if you're actually asking that question," she said quietly, and hornetshade merely flicked his ear at that in answer. ferretwhisker hummed thoughtfully. "it's hard to find you alone otherwise. you tend to travel with a group," she said at last.
paragraphand it was true. hornetshade, though perhaps not without realizing it, hadn't been alone in a some moons. when he wasn't on patrol, then he was with warblercry, or tigergaze, or iguanaspots and lyrewhistle, or sunglow and smokemane, or all of them at once. there were only sparse pockets of time when he ventured out on his own - on a hunting patrol, when ferretwhisker was back at camp, or when he was asleep in his nest, with others surrounding him in the den. no, he was rarely alone, and ferretwhisker managed to catch the moment when they were the only ones left awake in the camp, and hornetshade couldn't duck away from her. for as hard as he tried, she caught up to him again, and he merely shrugged his shoulders. "i like to keep company, i suppose," he said, with such nonchalance that ferretwhisker felt her fur begin to prickle. she couldn't read his placid expression or the hollow tones in his voice, and it unsettled her. after the last time they had spoken, she was prepared for hornetshade to be angry, but now he seemed to be bordering on apathetic, and she felt lost. as if he was reading her mind, hornetshade finally shot her a glance out of the corner of his eye. "is there something i can do for you, ferretwhisker? or do you want to distract me all night?"
paragraph"i -" suddenly, it seemed far less important, and ferretwhisker's mouth snapped shut. she considered the knight for a moment before words forced themselves from her mouth. "there's something else on your mind, something that's bothering you," she said, not missing the way that hornetshade's nose twitched. "you have a lot resting on your shoulders, and you're struggling to keep it all together, aren't you?"
paragraphat last, she caught the way hornetshade flicked his tail and his facade began to crack. "why do you think i'd tell you of all cats what i'm thinking about?" he asked, the trace of a growl on the edges of his voice, and ferretwhisker finally felt as though she was getting closer to the root of the issue.
paragraph"i never said that i thought you would," ferretwhisker said, calm and collected. "but if there's anything that you don't want to tell your friends and that pretty tabby, then who better to tell than the one cat you don't care for? you don't care what i think of you, anyway. there's no losing there." she expected hornetshade to throw her words immediately back in her face, wrapped in venom. so she was suprised yet again when hornetshade didn't answer immediately, and instead he seemed to consider the statement.
paragraphat last, hornetshade shrugged his shoulders again. "right now, you're not the cat i dislike the least," he said curtly, and ferretwhisker's expression must have given away her thoughts, for hornetshade huffed. "i still don't trust you, and i would rather you were anywhere else in the world but... as much as i don't trust you, i trust erasmus even less." when ferretwhisker said nothing, hornetshade finally cast the camp entrance once last glance before he turned to face her. "he told a story last moon about why juniperstorm came here and... i think he's lying. he said that his past leader killed badgerstar's kit, and that he helped fight groveclan because he was scared and that he was worried that the leader might do something to spencer."
paragraph"spencer's his mate," ferretwhisker pointed out. their voices had lowered to whispers, mindful of the quiet night around them, and that anyone could be listening from the shadows. "of course he'd be worried about him."
paragraph"but when have you ever known a cat like him to be scared of anything?" hornetshade asked, and ferreywhisker froze. she thought of another cat that hadn't been much smaller than erasmus; of a cat who also towered over others and showed off his fierce strength. "you know just as much as i do that cats like them are capable of anything, and they fear nothing. they'll take what they want and they don't have any second thoughts." it was like the temperature had dropped even further, and a chill ran up ferretwhisker's spine like the rake of claws.
paragraph"montgomery," ferreywhisker said in a hush, an even softer whisper. the name was like a curse, and hornetshade's expression tightened. "you really think that he's lying?" she asked hornetshade, and he nodded once without hesitating.
paragraph"why would he ever be frightened like he said he was?" hornetshade shook his head then with a grimace. "but the others believe him. why wouldn't they?"
paragraph"they don't know like we do," ferretwhisker said, and her stomach roiled. then, her eyes grew wide when realization struck her. "you know what happens to cats who stick their noses too far beyond their reach," she said, and hornetshade merely sniffed, apathetic and uncaring again. he swung back, locking his eyes on the camp's entrance.
paragraph"i saw cats who pried too far be killed," he said, and there was a heat under his words, and a sadness there as well. but it was all masked, as if he was burying it all deep down, pushing down, down, down, until his tone was flat and cold again. "but my parents did nothing. my mother never stepped a paw out of her own boundaries, but that didn't save her either."
paragraph"you shouldn't," ferretwhisker said.
paragraph"but that's where you forgot," hornetshade drawled carelessly. "you forgot that whatever i do has nothing to do with you. my life doesn't concern you." with that, his tipped his head back towards the nursery, dismissing her, and ferretwhisker felt numb when she rose to her paws. "good night, ferretwhisker."
paragraphsoftglow felt especially warm in the nursery, and he was glad that the knights and roses had helped patch several of the smaller holes in the walls before winter had fully set in. hawthornkit's paw poked into his ribs, and softglow was sure that his tail had gone numb ever since bramblekit decided to settle there for a nap and hadn't moved since. lightkit, meanwhile, was surprisingly awake and alert, her eyes tracking back and forth between flickersky, ferretwhisker, and merlinsong as they spoke. the herbalist had come to check on the new kits that arcticblink ad wolverinesnap brought with them, and to check on flickersky. when he had finished, ferretwhisker had managed to convince him to stay a long longer and share a mouse with them. merlinsong had looked to softglow and smiled. "i suppose a little longer wouldn't hurt," he'd said, and settled in between ferretwhisker and softglow.
paragraphthe king listened to the chatter and watched the proceedings through half-lidded eyes as drowsiness settled in his core. the winter was always a particularly taxing season, and he was thankful for the moment to rest. in the other corner of the nursery, ferretwhisker's kits had taken to a small game, batting a moss ball between themselves, minding their mother's earlier warning not to disturb the younger kits. adenium, the tortoiseshell kitten, and snowykit, the albino tom, had taken to napping in ferretwhisker's long fur as well. it was only when lightkit stirred, turning in softglow's grasp, that the king raised his head in time to watch quillkit bound over towards the heir. respectfully, the little tom dipped his head to the king and the heir before he blinked his large eyes at lightkit. "hi," he said quietly, and lightkit's smile was soft.
paragraph"hi," she echoed back. even for a kit so young, her eyes were bright and sharp, and softglow couldn't help but smile to himself when quillkit hesitated, teetering on a question.
paragraph"i saw that you were awake, and i was wondering if you would like to play with us," he said, straightening up when he waved his tail back towards his siblings. dewkit and elkkit appeared to be the only ones still interested in the small game, whereas beechkit had taken to grooming her fur and harrierkit strayed from the group to walk over to her mother, letting out a low purr when adenium opened one bleary green eye. "my mom said we have to be gentle, and harrierkit and beechkit are already tired so... you don't have to if you don't want to play, but... it could be fun," he added. wordlessly, lightkit glanced from quillkit to her brothers, then to softglow.
paragraph"can i?" she asked after a moment, and the king nodded to quillkit.
paragraph"you'll be gentle?" he asked quillkit, who puffed up his chest and squared his shoulders. "you'll look after her?"
paragraph"i promise," quillkit answered without any hesitation. "of course i'll look out for you," he said to lightkit, and softglow nodded at last, giving lightkit a gentle nudge with his nose.
paragraph"go ahead then, and stretch your legs. it'll be good for you." without any further pretense, lightkit stood and shook out her fur before bounding after quillkit to the other end of the nursery. softglow watched them go, turning his head only when flickersky let out a gentle purr and rested her head on ferretwhisker's shoulder. "what?" softglow asked when ferretwhisker grinned at him and merlinsong muffled a laugh.
paragraph"do you know how much of a softie you are?" merlinsong asked, letting out another laugh when softglow rolled his eyes. "no, no, it's more than your name. you're already becoming a good dad," the herbalist said, and ferretwhisker nodded her agreement.
paragraph"they already adore you," she said, nodding to where hawthornkit and bramblekit slept on. "when i had my kits, they were such a pawful. i'm glad tulipstream was here too, otherwise i don't know what i would've done. tawnyrose is lucky that you're here to take care of them too." softglow caught the slightest glint in her eyes, as if ferretwhisker thought that tawnyrose should have been in his place instead - or, at the very least, not seeming to avoid the nursery at all costs once she found her paws again.
paragraph"they're my kits," softglow heard himself say, though the words were sour on his tongue. "of course i want to be here to watch over them." he looked from merlinsong to ferretwhisker, though neither said anything. it was flickersky who broke the silence, as she was often wont to do.
paragraph"well," she said. "i'm excited for my kits to finally be here. even if it means the nursery might feel kind of crowded," flickersky added, shrugging her shoulders. "and stars know that i'll need the help. which is why you can't just leave me when your kits are made into thorns." at that, she flicked ferretwhisker, who let out a twinkling laugh. at last, the air cleared, and softglow looked from merlinsong to where quillkit was sitting with lightkit, the pair passing the mossball back and forth. the king watched at how gently quillkit kicked it to lightkit, so she wouldn't have to struggle and chase it down, and how he made a show of scrambling for it each time lightkit sent it towards him, just to make her smile and feel as though she was doing a great job. around softglow, the nursery was warm, and when hawthornekit began to stir, softglow pulled him closer so he wouldn't be as cold upon waking up.
(found)
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