ZephyrClan Writings | Rise | DNP

[Kazin]

It was finally time. The day he would see his brother again. It had been nearly an entire season now that he hadn't seen his brother, though that didn't mean he didn't think about him all the time. But truthfully, Blazestar was scared. He didn't know what his family might say, any of them, once he saw them again. The short encounter he had while receiving his nine lives was already anxiety-inducing enough... but now there was no motive for Blazestar going to the Moon Stream to see his family. None other than personal satisfaction, and an outstanding promise that he would see them again. Of course, he had said he would see them again soon. Hopefully soon to them meant something different, now that they weren't in this world anymore.

Dawn had come and past by the time Blazestar reached the Moon Stream. Blazestar steeled himself, looking down at the clear blue waters that gently flowed through the small cave. This place held many good memories for Blazestar - the time he was able to receive his nine lives and begin leading his clan. Something in Blazestar's mind was telling him this was a bad idea, that he should just leave and do it another time... but he knew if he left now, he probably wouldn't come back. Not ever.

"It's now or never," Blazestar whispered to himself, closing his eyes for a few seconds. Once he opened them again, he dipped his nose into the gentle waters, closing his eyes and letting himself drift off into the Zephyrs, feeling the gentle wind tickling his pelt.

He was met with a small golden tom, eye blazing with a fury Blazestar hadn't known him to have. "Er, hello Acorn," Blazestar said uncomfortably, allowing himself to give the other cat a small smile. Acorn only glared, watching Blazestar as he sat down across from Acorn.

Blazestar realized that Acorn wasn't going to break his stare, so he knew it was going to have to be him to speak first. "How have things been going?" He asked, shifting his weight slightly under Acorn's harsh glare. Still silence.

"I know I've been waiting a long time to see you again. I haven't known what I could say that would possibly make what I've done ok." Blazestar hung his head, squeezing his eyes shut and grimacing. "It's all my fault. You should be here with me now."

A harsh growl brought Blazestar out of his stupor, and he looked up at his brother in shock. "You're stupid," Acorn growled again, shaking his head.

"But... you're mad," Blazestar pointed out, watching Acorn's starry tail lash on the ground, though the grass is flew across did not move.

Acorn let out an exasperated yowl this time, and Blazestar flinched and looked away before his brother started speaking through his teeth. "I'm not mad because I think what happened to me is your fault. I'm mad because you've refused to see me!"

"Oh," Blazestar whispered, not able to bring himself to look up at Acorn again. "I'm... sorry?" He said questioningly.

Rolling his eyes, Acorn finally smirked at Blazestar. "Oh, fine. I understand why you haven't. I've just been lonely, waiting for you to come."

Blazestar laughed, relaxing a little. "Yeah, I should have come sooner. I was just afraid you would have thought things over and blamed me for what happened."

Acorn shook his head now. "Of course not. You're my brother. I'm going to watch over you now, and keep you safe. I've seen you doing really well growing your clan - and while I wish I could be a part of it, I understand that I'm playing an important role as your protector. Just know that, even though I'm younger than you, I'm proud of you." Acorn smiled wholeheartedly now, his eyes crinkling a bit as he got up to rest his starry chin on Blazestar's back.

"Thank you, Acorn," Blazestar whispered, accepting the nuzzle of affection with a sigh. He knew that he would always have a protector watching out for him, even if he couldn't see him all the time.

[Kazin]

Being in a clan again was beyond terrifying for Icethistle. Had it not been for her brother convincing her that these cats were not going to scorn her for what she did, she would have stayed in the shadows for an entire lifetime, only relying on the short visits from her brother. She had never counted on meeting new cats, despite the lonely, aching feeling that had been spreading from her heart like slow, molten lava ever since she had been outcast from her former clan. It sent a pang through her heart even thinking about it now... all her friends she left behind, her other family, her entire life... she couldn't fathom how she could possibly make a new life for herself. She was always going to be Icewing, an outcast, an evildoer, a killer. She couldn't escape her own perceptions of herself.

Icethistle carefully stayed far away from the others for the better part of a moon. Only giving small smiles and quick nods when another cat tried to speak to her, she would quickly find an excuse to exit the social situations, avoiding awkward questions about her past and what brought her here. She didn't want to tell them she had been living in their territory for moons, ever since Fallowfrost had joined, hunting their prey and hiding in the undergrowth. Only one cat seemed to not want to bother her or ask questions, the young warrior named Rainshadow. At first, Icethistle had just thought he was shy, though she quickly realized through the others' whispers about him that he just didn't speak, ever. His choice of lifestyle intrigued Icethistle to the point that she wondered if she would make the same choice. But that didn't seem right to her, not when she had her brother who wholeheartedly supported her. She didn't want to do that, but she did want to learn more about Rainshadow. He had always seemed the kindest, politely allowing her to leave conversations by giving her a small gesture, indicating spots where cats had not gathered, even leaving the warrior's den with a small smile as she came in once, out of breath from running, looking to be alone. He seemed to understand what she wanted, even though she had never shared anything about her life to this gray tom.

The curiosity towards this tom was what led Icethistle to strike up a friendship with him. It was nearing dusk by the time Rainshadow's patrol had returned, and though the rest of the cats headed directly towards the warrior's den, Rainshadow remained out in the middle of the camp. He sat down and looked at the sky, eyes going softer and full of wonder. This was how Icethistle saw him, eyes half closed as he watched the darkening sky. The only indication that he heard her approach and soft greeting was a slight twitch of his ear.

"Er, hi, Rainshadow," Icethistle said quietly, sitting a few tail lengths away from the tom. She watched him for a moment, unsure of what to say. "Well, I just want to thank you - for always helping me out and helping me get out of these weird situations with other cats. You seem to know me just as well as my brother, and that's quite a lot since I've known him my whole life."

Rainshadow turned towards her and gave her a genuine smile as if to say you're welcome. His gaze held hers for a few more moments, though Icethistle did not feel uncomfortable under it, until he had turned his attention back to the now starry sky. Icethistle continued looking at this enigmatic tom for a few more seconds, listening to the very quiet sound that was his purr. Rainshadow was happy here, even though the cats didn't truly know him. Perhaps Icethistle could be too.

Turning her head towards the sky as Rainshadow was, Icethistle watched as more stars appeared, sharing a quiet moment with her new friend. Thank you; it was the simultaneous thought in both of the young cats' minds.

[Kazin]

Icethistle and Rainshadow breeding scene. 635 words.

Icethistle was sitting out alone in the rain. She had been stupid. Truly stupid. How could she have not realized that he was trying to get away from her? Was it because he never said anything, or just because she wanted to believe that she was meant to have a home here? No, Fallowfrost was wrong. She couldn't have a home here. Not if the only cat she wanted to see didn't want to see her. Especially over something as minuscule as a stupid profession of her love.

Thankfully, it wasn't raining very hard; just a light mist over her pelt. Even still, the wetness crept into her bones and made her chilly. But she didn't care. Not right now. She had to know if he would come back, even if it would take days. Something told her that he was going to come back. He had to.

As the darkness grew, enveloping Icethistle in it's grasp, she finally caught a glimpse of the cat she wanted to see. He was coming back! His pelt, soaked through from the rain, almost blending in with the shadows he was so named after, but there was no mistaking his bright yellow eyes. Icethistle nearly grimaced as his gaze widened in alarm, a growl forming deep in his throat as he firmly pushed her towards their secret hollow, where it would be dry.

"You don't have to protect me, you know," Icethistle said miserably, letting her tail hang after she shook out the water she could from her pelt. "I'm fine. I just had to know that... I didn't make you leave."

Rainshadow gave her an incredulous look and shook his head. He glared at her, giving her a pointed look, at which Icethistle sighed. "I know, it would take a lot more to get you to leave. I just feel stupid, that's all. I don't know why I said that I loved you, but I really do. I won't let it get in the way of you or me staying here, and if I have to I'll-" Icethistle hadn't been paying attention to Rainshadow, her gaze still cast downwards, but he dropped something soft in front of Icethistle.

"Wha-?" She began to ask, but the question died on her lips as soon as she saw what Rainshadow had brought. "An eagle feather?" She breathed, eyes widening in happiness and shock. "You... remembered that story I told you?" Rainshadow was smiling in earnest now, and he nodded, standing to get closer to Icethistle, pressing his warm body against hers. I'm right here, he seemed to be saying. I love you too.

"Could you be happy here with me? I mean truly happy. And don't lie to me, I can take the truth," Icethistle whispered, only glancing at Rainshadow for a second before letting her eyes drift back to the eagle feather he had gotten for her. No other cat had remembered what she said was her favorite thing. But then again, no cat had truly seemed to see her for who she was besides Rainshadow.

Eyes crinkling around the edges, Rainshadow smiled softly once Icethistle looked at him again, the gesture which never failed to make Icethistle's heart skip a beat. His response was a purr, his yellow eyes closing as he nodded sincerely to Icethistle. She smiled in return, the tension she had felt leaving her body as she allowed herself to relax. Maybe she wasn't so evil after all, if this gentle soul could be happy with her here. Perhaps she could make this clan a home, with him. Rainshadow would make everything ok. And he seemed to want her to, so maybe they could both finally have found a place where they belong, these two drifting souls... They finally found a home with each other.

[Kazin]

"...and this one, Lucky, is for cats to take when they are going to go on a long journey. I remember that Emberlily told me that Blazestar told the old medicine cat, Hemlockflame, to take these before she left so she could keep up her strength on her journey. I think that this herb would be great for a lot of different scenarios, and it's one of my favorites because it actually tastes kind of good to me. Always remember sorrel." Brightpaw was chatting up a storm in the den, Emberlily thought, having just came back after going for a walk to stretch her legs. She had been teaching the young cat all day about the different herbs they had, and Brightpaw seemed to be soaking up every single piece of information. But who was she talking to?

Emberlily didn't announce her presence, wondering which cat got the unfortunate nickname of 'Lucky.' Her bets were on Rainshadow, as Brightpaw seemed to really enjoy talking to the gray tom, and he seemed to enjoy listening. Perhaps Brightpaw didn't yet know that his name was Rainshadow and had given him a different name. But when Emberlily stuck her head in, she only saw Brightpaw. Yet the apprentice was still chatting away as if there was someone else here.

Curious and a little alarmed, Emberlily took a few silent steps into the den, though Brightpaw was still clueless. It was when Emberlily's eyes adjusted to the semi-darkness of the den, only a bit of sunlight still left entering it, that she saw there was a cricket. Could this be Lucky? As she looked around further, more bugs were lounging about in the den, causing Emberlily's eyes to widen in shock. When did Brightpaw get all of these bugs? And how did she get them to stay in here?

"Hey Brightpaw," Emberlily said softly, stopping her apprentice mid speech. The calico cat whirled around with a look of shock before calming herself.

Brightpaw looked slightly abashed, glancing back to where her cricket seemed to be happily waiting for her to continue. "Oh, hi Emberlily. I was just trying to remember all the information you told me about herbs today."

Nodding, Emberlily allowed herself to smile. "And you were doing remarkably at that, young one. Though I really must ask a pressing question," she looked around at all the bugs, some hopping away slowly, others still waiting. "What is this in my den?"

Brightpaw gave a sheepish smile, looking down at the various creatures that were hopping about. "I, uh, invited some friends to learn about herbs. Don't worry, they aren't eating any, I promise! I just thought they'd like to see my new home. They're going to leave now... except..." Waiting for her apprentice to continue, Emberlily tilted her head to indicate she was listening. "Well, Lucky should stay here. He's smaller than the other bugs and I see him get picked on a lot. He'll never eat the herbs, I promise!"

Stifling the urge to roll her eyes or laugh, Emberlily only managed a nod for a few moments until she had composed herself. "Lucky can stay," she said, glancing down at the only bug remaining. As if in thanks, the cricket rubbed his legs together, making a pleasant, soft noise and causing both cats to laugh. "Maybe he'll be good company for us both," Emberlily said, lightly tapping Brightpaw with a paw.

[Kazin]

Meadowsong and Lightningclaw breeding scene. 657 words.

The lake was a beautiful place to spend a day off. Meadowsong hadn't been in the clan very long, but since she was used to being with a little less action and a little less noise it only made sense that she would find herself by this serene lake. She was so close to the sounds that she had listened to outside of her Twoleg home, and it was awe inspiring to finally be able to see the creatures that produced these sounds. Her favorite, by far, was the loon - a call the others grimaced at, but Meadowsong fell in love with the strange duck-like bird. It was her talks of the sounds she heard outside from her Twoleg window that inspired Blazestar to choose her name as he did, and Meadowsong couldn't have been happier.

Meadowsong closed her eyes as a gentle breeze ruffled her long fur. In the distance, birds were chirping, squabbling over who knew what. The faint sound of frogs croaking from across the lake reached Meadowsong's ears, and she smiled. Usually after the frogs made their own throaty call, the loon wouldn't be far behind. Meadowsong was not disappointed - one popped up from it's dive underneath the waters, and she heard the faint ripple of the water as it's head emerged. She watched it call, and smiled happily, watching the magnificent creature.

"They really are something, aren't they?" A voice behind her made Meadowsong jump, but she wasn't scared so much as embarrassed. Lightningclaw, a warrior that had arrived the same time as her, someone she had grown incredibly close to in a short amount of time, was smiling at the loon as well. "But they aren't the real reason I'm here, as beautiful as they are. I find another more beautiful."

Meadowsong felt heat rush up into her pelt, thanking the zephyrs that Lightningclaw was unable to detect that. She was worried that perhaps he could hear her heartbeat, thumping its irregular rhythm in her chest. "Ah, Lightningclaw. I'm glad you're here to share this moment with me. It reminds me of the day we met."

"Ah, yes; the day I met you." Lightningclaw purred, a huge smile crossing his features as he gained a faraway look. "We met at this exact spot, if memory serves me right." Meadowsong smiled back, nodding, before Lightningclaw continued. "I remember seeing you from afar, as you listened to the birds of the forest. You looked so out of place as you walked here, but once you sat by this lake, I could tell that you were at home. And I could also tell... right then... that you were the one for me."

Rubbing her cheek against Lightningclaw's, Meadowsong only purred in response to the tom. It was true; she had been incredibly out of place in the forest. It had been her first time in the wilderness, having just ran away from the mundane life of a house cat, or a Kittypet, as they called them in the clan. "I am so happy that you found me, and that I found you. I'd probably be back at my Twoleg home if it weren't for you, because I was way too scared without someone to show me the forest isn't scary."

"Why did you leave anyway?" Lightningclaw asked curiously, settling into the soft grass and tucking his legs underneath him. Meadowsong settled next to him, their pelts touching.

"Well, I guess I was just unhappy. I felt like there was something more for me, and I was right. You were what I needed - my present and future. I'll love you forever." Meadowsong sighed happily, closing her eyes as the loon let out another whistle. Her two loves, both here. This evening really couldn't be any better.

Lightningclaw let the loon finish it's song before he whispered a response to his mate. "I will always love you, and always have, from the day I met you."

[Kazin]

The soft thud of paw steps, running through the forest. A gentle ringing in her ears. The wind, at least, felt nice - though it was the only thing that felt nice at this moment. She had been running for a long time; so long that her paws burned, her fur felt like it was on fire, and she longed for something she never thought possible - a swim in the stream by her territory. Well, she supposed it must be her ex-territory now. She was leaving that life behind her. More importantly, she was leaving her behind.

Finally, as dawn crept just on the horizon, she stopped. She had been running for nearly an entire day, only taking short breaks to lap up some water. Exhaustion threatened to take hold of her muscles, threatening that she wouldn't be able to continue on any further. Too stubborn for her own good, Maplespark ignored it. She needed to be as far away from that place as she could be. She couldn't be followed.

Maybe it was stupid for Maplespark to want to get so far away. There was no way Fireflicker would leave; her ambitions were set too high for that. She wanted to be leader of her clan. But still, there was doubt in Maplespark's mind. After all, the two had become so close in the past season, it would only make sense that Fireflicker wouldn't let Maplespark end their close relationship this way, even if it meant that she was giving up her dream. Fireflicker had already mentioned that there were more clans out there, more opportunity. Both she-cats had the tendency of being stubborn, though Fireflicker was definitely the more hot-headed and headstrong of the two. She would definitely come after Maplespark, and probably already was.

Maplespark sighed, plopping down to rest. Maybe she should just let Fireflicker find her, and set things right. It had been Maplespark's fault anyway for letting things continue, even though she knew she didn't love the fiery she-cat anymore. "A thing of the past," Maplespark whispered out loud, her voice carried by the wind into the empty forest. Yes, that's what she would have to tell Fireflicker. Their relationship was a thing of the past, though if Fireflicker could finally realize how cutthroat she was and would promise to not make Maplespark her claw-marked tree anymore, they could still be friends. Perhaps even close friends once again, but never any further. Nothing could be like before.

[Kazin]

Phantom was lucky that she had a good nose. It was serving her well as she tried to follow the trail of cat scents, the trail that she hoped would lead her to her old friend. She could hardly remember what he looked like now - just flashes of the color of bright fire. It was his laughter that she knew would stand out. Phantom knew she'd recognize her friend anywhere.

The small dog was already sure that she was making a good decision. She had been entirely too lonely, staying at the farm. No other dog really cared to talk to her because they said she was too small to be a real working dog. They all had jobs to do, making sure the farm remained safe from threats, never really giving Phantom the chance to prove that even though she was small, she could be useful. She wasn't able to stand the treatment for much longer, deciding to leave and make a new life for herself, with a friend she had as a pup.

She could remember the calm cat speaking to her on a particularly bad day, when the other dogs told her she wasn't allowed with them anymore. The cat had offered to take her around instead, showing her a way to prank the ones that said she was meaningless. It was a harmless prank, and the dogs didn't even know who did it, but it made Phantom feel loads better. She hung around that cat for a long time, until he told her that he was leaving. Since then, nothing was happy at that farm, despite her many efforts to make other friends. But now she was on her way to find him again.

Getting very close to the localized smell of cat, Phantom began wagging her bushy tail, letting out whimpers of pure delight. There! Up ahead, a bright fiery pelt, just like she remembered. Other cats bristled beside him, but he remained calm, though a little bit unsure. "Flame!" Phantom barked out, slowing her excited body to a walk so she didn't startle the others he was with. She knew all to well how sharp cats' claws could be.

"Oh!" The cat she knew as Flame exclaimed, his tail raising into the air to show his own happiness. "Phantom! I almost didn't recognize you; you've gotten so big!"

The dog wagged harder at that, delighted that he remembered who she was. "Yeah! I've been trying to grow!" She barked out a happy laugh, eyes closing in her happiness. "I've come to ask to stay with you," she added, looking around at the group of cats Flame had built for himself.

"That's a monster," a cat beside Flame hissed before he could answer Phantom. The response from the other cat caused Flame to flatten his ears and let out a warning growl.

Phantom let out a yip of anger. "I am not a monster!" She said simply, allowing Flame to say the rest of what he wanted.

"Just because she is not a cat does not mean we can deny her." Flame responded, keeping his calm. "I will gladly have a meeting with the entire clan, but I will be vouching for the integrity and kindness of Phantom." He turned back to Phantom now, addressing her again. "For now, you can stay. The others will have to tell me if they will allow you to become a permanent member, but I offer you a place in Zephyrclan temporarily until we can decide."

Phantom nodded happily. She had expected as much. But something in her heart told her that she would be a permanent member of this clan, under the protective and kindhearted watch of the cat she knew and remembered well. She promised to protect them now, as best as she could.

[Kazin]

The attack was over in seconds. It was as if the rain knew just what was about to happen, choosing the right moment to begin its decent into the earth. The rain also made it harder to hear what exactly was going on, though even if it wasn't raining Fallowfrost was sure he wouldn't have been able to hear anything anyway. He was frozen, stuck in that moment of time, watching the scene play out in front of him as if he was watching something in slow motion. Like a dream, it played out before him. His leader, so beloved by himself and many others in the clan, coming out to talk with the deputy after having the warrior naming ceremony for the newly made warriors; Fallowfrost and his sister included. Fallowfrost watched helplessly as this leader who he loved was pushed into the icy waters swirling angrily, thrown into the river by the deputy. He had known this deputy was power hungry, always searching for ways to get the clan under her control instead of the leader's, but never figured she would have gone this far.

Fallowfrost sat there, immovable, but Icewing seemed to be acting at double speed. Perhaps she was in fast forward, while the other cats were in slow motion. Fallowfrost wasn't sure, but he couldn't look away, his eyes wide as he watched Icewing race up to the deputy, hissing at her before striking at her to push her into the same icy waters that had just swept their leader away. The deputy was too slow, still seeming to act in slow motion, as she went to retaliate at Icewing, only managing to catch the she-cat in the face before falling victim to the same fate she had just given their leader.

Icewing stayed by the water, panting, staring down at the fast rushing water in shock, too stunned to move. Perhaps it was hours before either of the cats were able to regain their senses. Fallowfrost was able to move first, making his way numbly to where Icewing was still sitting, her pelt soaked through by the rain. "We need to go," he croaked hoarsely, looking out into the rapids to see if he could see either cat. There was no hope for them, however. They were gone.

Gently, Fallowfrost nudged at his sister, getting her to her feet and leading her towards the camp. Both cats slowed as they reached the entrance, knowing that they would not be received well after what they would tell the clan. It was likely one or both of them would get kicked out. The last words that Icewing would speak for a long while were muttered outside that camp, her eyes still fogged by a faraway look even as she glanced at Fallowfrost.

"What do we do now?" She whispered, barely audible. Fallowfrost could only shake his head, tail dragging on the ground as he led the way into camp, closing his eyes as he reached the small clearing. It was going to be hard, but he wouldn't leave his sister's side. He knew it wouldn't. He couldn't. They were all each other had left.

[Kazin]

She hadn't meant to scare the kit. They were just so much smaller than the cats she was used to working with, so much more fragile. The other problem was that they didn't even act like they were scared, ever. Never acted like they were able to be hurt, either, until they did get hurt.

"I am so sorry," Maplespark apologized again, looking down at the smaller cat that was trailing alongside her. They were making their way back to camp, coming back early from a practice battle in the training hollow. All because Maplespark had forgotten who she was training with, too used to her other battle partner. The one she tried not to think of, never speaking her name, though she still couldn't help but remember their sessions, and she had gotten too distracted by remembering her old sparring partner during her practice with her newly made apprentice. Ryepaw had never fought before, and Maplespark forgot that during their mock battle.

Ryepaw smiled up at his mentor, nothing but admiration, still, in his expression. "Don't worry about it," he said squeakily, looking back ahead as he limped slightly with Maplespark. She had gotten too carried away, striking him a bit too hard and twisting one of his front paws slightly. She knew he wasn't terribly hurt, but still. She felt awful.

"You're just so tiny," she joked half heartedly, giving Ryepaw a slight flick of her tail against his back. He laughed at that, in good spirits still despite the pain in his paw.

Once they reached camp, it was the reactions of his parents that Maplespark was worried about. She didn't want them to think she was a monster. Thankfully, as Sootmask and Coppersplash both came rushing up to the small tom, he brushed them off and said it was his own fault. Maplespark stared ahead, shocked as she heard her apprentice defend herself. Did he actually pay attention when she had mentioned off handedly that she was scared of doing something wrong? She mostly had said that to herself, under her breath.

Maybe she would be able to train Ryepaw. Emberlily gave him the clear after a quick visit, only giving him a poppy seed and instruction for a few days of rest until it felt ok to walk on. He could even still do light training, just no running or jumping around. Yes, the young tom was protective already, she could tell. He was kind, easygoing, and wanted to do what was good for others. Maplespark would do her best to help his servant heart grow, and perhaps she could learn a thing or two from him as well. She could learn that she wasn't a bad cat after all.

[Kazin]

The moon cast a gentle glow over the pond. The water was illuminated by it, reflecting the moon's own face back into the sky. The white flowers growing on one of the banks were glowing as well, swaying slightly in the breeze. Across the water, another creature was padding up to the edge of the pond, bending down to take a few laps of the water. A deer. Overhead, a bat screeched, diving to get a bug. Icethistle watched and listened, immobile among the movement around her. She was waiting, though for what she wasn't sure. She felt too pressed down by her own expectations for herself, weighed down by the cat she didn't want to become, the cat she kept fighting away. She was tired, but she couldn't sleep. She felt like a shell, just pelt and fur walking around among other cats who knew what they were doing, knew what kind of cat they were, not worried about who they could become. Free from the burdens of their past.

Icethistle was jealous of them all, which was a tricky situation to be in since she didn't feel that she would be able to be on her own again like she had when she and Fallowfrost had first arrived. More than that, she was terrified of what might happen if they found out about what she had done. She was sure she was the only cat with a past as dark as hers, the only cat that had killed purposefully. The burden of not telling the others was getting to her. Trying to be a cat you weren't. Trying to pretend you were better than you really were. It was too much, but Icethistle was stuck. She wouldn't make it on her own, and she wasn't going to make Fallowfrost leave with her.

Sighing silently, Icethistle closed her eyes, shutting out the world. Something had to change. Someone had to know who she really was, what she had done. She couldn't let Fallowfrost live with that burden anymore either, she could see what it was doing to him whenever their pasts were brought up. While her eyes were still closed and she thought, the soft padding of another cat alerted her. She wasn't worried though, for these paw steps were familiar. She had come to know them better than her own self.

"Hi," she whispered, not opening her eyes as she felt the familiar cat sit beside her, brushing against her pelt as he sat. His company made everything seem a little bit better, though there was still too much for her stressed brain to think about. "Why is life so complicated?" She whispered, leaning into Rainshadow a bit more. "I couldn't live alone again, but I don't want you to live with me if you don't know the truth about what I've done."

Rainshadow nudged her gently, making her open her eyes. His gaze was kind, but searching. He wanted answers; she had spent long enough with him to be able to tell what he was thinking, most of the time.

"I've done something I'm not proud of. Something very bad," she whispered again, not able to meet his gaze any longer. "I won't blame you if you hate me for it." Rainshadow shook his head firmly, a frown forming on his face. His eyes blazed in the darkness. Never, they implied, almost burning the answer into her pelt.

Icethistle sighed again, closing her eyes to steel herself for a few seconds before launching into her story. "I've killed a cat," she said, still whispering. "I wasn't really thinking about what I was doing. But I watched her, this cat that called herself a leader in our clan, our deputy, as she pushed our leader into the river. Instead of thinking things through and telling the clan what I saw, I reacted first. I pushed her into the water, just like she had done to our leader. I'm no better than her." Icethistle looked away, watching a nearby flower tilt in the wind until Rainshadow nudged at her again, wanting her to look at him.

His eyes were still blazing, the yellow burning like the yellow of a fire. He wouldn't leave her. He would help make everything ok, even if it wasn't right now, he would make it ok. Icethistle felt sure of that.