Writing about nothing,while telling you everything (stories)

[I'm.only.human]

Hello everyone!!
This is where I will post my little stories and sometimes bursts of inspiration.
Most of these stories are unfinished until i get time or inspiration.
These stories may not all be appropriate for smaller children
and some may contain death and/or self harm,
but most times i will write about more of what the character is feeling and thinking then the actual image.
If my writing is not appropriate for this site, please let me know and I will take it down promptly.
If you have any pointers or see mistakes please pm me, don't post here please!!
Thank you so much for any of you who read, I appreciate every single one of you!!

Posts:
Inspiration

[I'm.only.human]

This is where i will post my little bursts of inspiration that I get!!
I also get my inspiration from pinterest here

[I'm.only.human]

wattpad

If you read this letter, I am gone. Quite as simple as that. I hope you miss me, but you probably won't. You will pretend to grieve and be in pain, but you are not. So don't lie. I will be the one in pain, not you. I do not mind if you don't cry. I don't even care if you never shed a tear. It would mean I was right, that you never loved me anyways.

But if you do cry, if you do shed a tear, it is for nothing. Not that I don't love you, I think, it's just that by that point, I am gone. I won't be coming back, so don't waste your time praying. Don't spend your nights, pillow damp, hands folded, wishing I was in a better place. I probably am, but you wouldn't care. I'll be gone from your mind in a year, two at most.

If I'm gone, don't worry about a big ceremony, my empty body, won't come back to life, so there is no point. My soul will be long lost, probably stuck in hell where it should be. I'll make many friends, don't worry. Satan will paint my nails my favorite color, while I sing to him the songs you never sang to me. We'll talk about the drama of the underworld and the karma that goes around. And trust me, it always comes back around.

That's how I ended up here anyways, but you already know that, I hope. Perhaps you don't, but I don't care, and neither should you. You shouldn't care about me now, just because I'm gone, not that you ever have.

[I'm.only.human]

wattpad


They say it was not my fault, that it was an accident, an honest mistake. They can say what they want, I don't mind. Actually, i'm surprised I can hear them at all.

They tell me not to worry, that sometimes these things happen, it's life. Perhaps they're right, but is it life if I never had one for them to tell it to?

They try to hold, to comfort me, tell me its alright. They can't, it's not that I don't want them to they just... can't.

they still search for my innocence, fighting for me, though it seems i'm long gone. But they don't ask me for permission. Maybe I wanted this to happen, as a lesson, as an example for other people.

They don't seem to see me anymore, or at all really. Maybe they avoid me, or I avoid them.

They say so many things, some to me, and to others. Like how the road was icy and how unfortunate I am. It doesn't matter now, they can't change what happened, though no one really knows what happened. Except me. Except the only person who really mattered, not anymore.



Me. It happened to me and it was my fault. It may be an accident, an honest mistake. Perhaps I was unlucky, that sometimes these things happen, it is just life. They can try to hold, to comfort me, to tell e it's alright. But they can't... because...

I am no innocent, so stop fighting for me, I am long gone. I didn't want this to happen, but I should be a lesson, an example for other people. But I won't be, because you don't see me anymore.

You say so many things, I used to say as much, but stopped when I realized you couldn't hear me.

I tried to tell you the road you icy and slippery to the touch, even though you already knew. Although, I won't tell why it is my fault, even if I could. So I tell my thoughts and I tell my mind, what a fool I was.

I still flinch everytime I hear a phone beep, even though it has been awhile. What, six weeks? Not too long for you, but so ever long for me because I have to sit here, alone, waiting, forever, for what I do not know.

I wait and I watch and I think. I feel trapped in my mind, but, but watching everyone.

I'm stuck, frozen in time. All I can do is wait, as a ghost, as a phantom, a lost soul, an illusion to myself. I made a mistake, no matter how small, and it changed me.

I died. I drove of the road and crashed, all alone. I died from something so small, but so impacting.

I died and people will miss me, I hope. I pay for it now, forever knowing that if I had waited five minutes, to pick up my phone, I would have survived.

Why was I texting?

[I'm.only.human]

wattpad


Frosted ice spirals it's way along the glass, clinging to the bars of steel, now frozen to the touch. I feel the heat sucked from the windowsill, swallowed into a cold, unfamiliar embrace. I release my hand from the window, sinking down to the floor, arms cradling my knees. The cries of the birds, I assume, are blocked by two feet of solid concrete.

I try to imagine what the world outside looks like now, as tears begin to puddle in my eyes. Perhaps there are trees full of bushy green leaves, flowers of pink and gold lining the pathways. Bees soar along side butterfly's, buzzing their way back to their beautiful queen, the butterflies displaying their magnificent colors to the world. It's been so long since I have seen such color. All I see now is black.

I feel a drip on my hand as a lone tear is released. Many soon follow it's dreadful path. Forcing myself to stand up, I stumble over to the small bed in the corner of the room. it's thin covering and weakened springs creak as I lay upon them. I will see the world soon enough, I tell myself, I will see light again.

I cry myself to sleep, loosing myself upon the hopes of cherry blossoms and rushing rivers. I dance with the faeries and sing with the mermaids. Even a prince of golden armor saves me from a terrible, old dragon. His name was Aaronicus the Admirable and his horses name was Sphen. I was swept up by the prince and taken to a castle when maids dressed me in silks of yellow and red and braided my hair with gems. Me and Aaronicus danced to music until dawn broke, shinning down upon the two of us with the beauty of the-

"Mornin'!! Get up ya lousy bag a clay!!" a loud rough voice shook me from my slumber. For all I could see, which was exactly nothing, it was not morning.

"We get up wit' sun 'round 'ere!" Well I guess it was a little more gray than black...

"Ow! Get your hands off me you big brute!" A large hand grasped my arm, so large I assume it had to be a man's. He gave a low rasp.

"I ain't that big. You should get'a look at some other fellas 'round, ain't nothin like me. Now quit ur whinin' and get to walkin'!"

I don't move. "But I cannot see where I am going!"

"Eh? Don't you try that on me lassy, you ain't the first one to say that you know!" He shoved me forward.

i stumble forward, instinctively throwing out my arms in front of me, my wrist hitting the door frame.

[I'm.only.human]

wattpad


It was supposed to be a fun night. It was supposed to be relaxed and carefree. I should have cared. It would have saved so much pain. 20 scars. It would have saved 20 cuts along my face and chest.

Overall, there was 27 scars, but 7 of them were for nothing. They didn't change what happened. Nothing could have changed what happened. They didn't fix the mistake that I never should have made.

I'm sorry.

I should have warned you of rules. I knew them. I should have told you not to wander far off. The rules would have would have saved you 7 scars.

I feel horrible, as if my soul is being ripped from my body and all the happiness of draining out of me with blood stained tears. I hope you know I am not doing better where I am, without you. I hope you are doing better where you are, without me. I should not be better though, I should never be better. I deserve to suffer for what I have done.

They said you were long gone before I woke up. All I heard was I never got to say goodbye.

They claimed you have left this world behind. I asked why you had not taken me with you.

They whisper that it will be alright. They lie. It will not be alright. I will not be alright. Never.

I'm sorry.

I should tell you, now that you will never hear me, that I love you. I have always known, but kept silent for fear that you would leave me. Looks like you already have. So I say it to myself at night, but it is only drowned out by the tears. I fall asleep, only to minutes later with a broken voice and a soaked pillow. I hope that you cannot see me now, broken and bent, ripped into shred by the wind, and thrown to the vultures circling my soul.

I pray that you know I am sorry. I should have told you the rules I knew so well. Given the chance now, I would throw the book at your head. But I am just as guilty. I must admit that I never I never listened to any rules anyways, never. I should have that night. You always scolded me for it and I should have listened, but you were drunk that night and I disregarded your words. I wish I hadn't.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything. I sorry for not telling you I loved you, though I knew it from the first day. I pray until my heart bleeds that you are in a better place. I hope I join you soon.

I sit here now, starting at the refection of someone who is long gone. All I can do is wait for something to happen. I watch a silent tear fall down my cheek, getting caught on a scar still red. The salt stings, but I welcome the pain.

"I'm sorry." I whisper to my reflection, over and over. I find my voice raising and the mirror shattered, saving me from the pain of myself. so I then watch the blood drop down my knuckles, reminding me of the rabid claws that struck down upon my face. The 20 scars still show.

Your face is buried in the ground now, 7 scars on your forehead trailing down you nose and to the lips I never kissed. But that's all I ever wanted. You are all I ever wanted.

Now your gone, dead as my heart. Though perhaps I could join you. I could see your face again, I could see your lips, I could trace your lips with mine. I take the glass and trace the stitches along my skin. Crimson tears fall down my face, but I don't cry as I trace the final few down my neck and towards my beating heart.

I ended my pain when I stopped my heart. The heart filled with love for you took it's final beats, but my loved never failed. For all I ever wanted was to be with my love. You. I fell to the ground, gold clattered against the cold floor I couldn't feel, a sound echoed that I couldn't hear.

I'm sorry.

Long live the Queen.