Dear Saltface...Diary of a Misunderstood PPS Kid

[VesVes]

Dear Saltface,

I woke up to a very loud (and rude-sounding) sound.

(I rhymed! I'm such a great poet, right?)

Anyway, it turned out that Dad blew one of those bicycle horns right in my ear. Not one of those jingle-bell sounding ones, but the very loud and rude- sounding ones. I was so startled that I jumped about three feet in the air. Did I mention that the ceiling is not that high? So now I have a massive headache and not much sleep.

Nice one, Dad.

Anywaaayyyy, we all met on the patio thing. We ate breakfast, said hi to this coyote passing by, and Ice started chasing a bunch of wild turkeys around.

"We're not worthy!" the turkeys were shouting. "NOT WORRTTHHYYYYY!!!"

Those nuts. I hope that not all birds in this area are nuts.

"What are we going to do today?" Vine asked.
"A lot of things," Mum told her. "Your father and I made a schedule of activities for you. One for the boys, and one for the girls."
"That's right," Dad agreed. "Consider this a school field trip. Right now, I will take the boys on a hike and your mother will take the girls to a canoeing lake."

Oh. No. He. Didn't.

He said...THE S-WORD!!! The S-C-H-O-O-L word!

Gotta go, Salty.

[CanisCoyote]

I.Need.More!!!

[VesVes]

Here's your wish! It's kind of short, though.

Dear Saltface,

I had many bad days.

Like the day my (birth) parents...well, left. And abandoned me, Ice, and Hermione. (Long, long story.)
And the day Hermione slapped me with a squid. (Ewww...)
And the day I found out that my eyes are purple. (Don't laugh at me...)
And, of course, the day Snowy and Derek were kissing each other. (Don't get me started.)

But this?!?! School and vacation are exact opposites! They don't go together!

Anyway, we set off on the hike. Dad gave us worksheets to work on during the hike. Hershey puked on his almost right away.

During the hike, we saw lots of interesting animals. Like a herd of deer, three robins singing "Yankee Doodle Dandy", a raccoon, and a grizzly bear.

But Dad wasn't satisfied. He wanted to see a wild cat. (What the heck?!?!) Wild cats are really elusive. But what we did see was some lynx tracks. And lynxes are wild cats.

Dad went to check our worksheets. Luckily for Hershey, Dad didn't have any more copies, so Hershey didn't have to do it.

Bye for now, Salty.

[VesVes]

Dear Saltface,

After the hike, we had lunch.

Lunch was really crummy, by the way. Someone at the cafe screwed up and gave us space food instead of real food.

Anywaaaayyy...

After lunch, we switched. Mum and the girls went on a hike, while Dad and us boys went swimming in the lake.

The water was really cold, since it was in the middle of winter. I don't even see why it wasn't completely frozen.

Hershey and I kept dunking each other, while Cassius and Dad were studying this rock that Dad found.

Booorrrriiinnnggg...

Finally, we got out of the water. I was really cold by now. We saw some mountain lion tracks before meeting with Mum and the girls.

"We saw lynx tracks!" Ice exclaimed. "There's a lynx around here, and I intend to find it."

Who honestly cares about wild cats?

Anyway, it's almost time for dinner. I hope dinner at the cafe won't be as crummy as lunch.

Bye for now, Salty.

[ZombiePoodle]

Love this. (Reminder to self so I can finnish reading, I'm currently on pg 3 but my bed calls to me.)

[VesVes]

Dear Saltface,

Dinner was really crummy. And I mean REALLY crummy. Why?

They. Served. Us. KIBBLE.

You know, the kind of food humans give to their pet dogs.

But I'm not a dog! I'm a wolf!

Anyway, I discovered that the kibble had only one good thing about it:

ULTIMATE SISTER REPELLENT!!

Then, I saw they had these review things towards the door. They wanted us to "give our feedback so they could improve!"

Pfft. More like, get worse.

Anyway, I made a review that went like this:

Dear Awesome Cafe,

I'm sorry, but the name of this place is a misnomer. Your food is disgusting, your waiters slack off every day, the service is terrible, and the prices are way too high! You should get better, all right!

AND STOP SERVING KIBBLE AND SPACE FOOD!

Signed,
Airhead_127

Yeah, the place is called The Awesome Cafe. What a misnomer.

And, yes, I used a fake name. A grizzly bear taught me how.

I'M NOT KIDDING.

See ya later, Saltface.

[the murph]

Luv it! It makes me laugh.

[VesVes]

Thanks!

Dear Saltface,

Hi.

Wassup.

Greetings.

Hello.

I'm bored.

Rubber band war? =D

I did not just put an emoticon in there.

Anyway, when we came back to the campsite, I noticed mountain lion tracks. Everywhere. And the place stunk of the big cat. Mountain lions smell like sickness. Or, at least, this one does.

(Dun dun DUUUNNN)

Anyway, we went into the cabins and went to sleep.

I dreamed that an army of tigers riding giant oranges were taking over the world. And in the dream, I was a giant orange. Then, I dreamed that Mr. Unicorn was in a conga line with giant unicorns.

Then I woke up to the smell of mountain lion right outside the cabin.

Tell you the rest later, Salty.

[VesVes]

Dear Saltface,

I went outside to investigate. And sure enough, there it was. And it had a little fox cornered in a corner. The cat was using all four paws, unlike most wolves I've seen.

Anyway, I dropped down on my forequarters so I was using all four paws, too. And believe it or not, it actually felt normal.

I snarled at the big cat. "Leave him alone, what did he do to you?" I asked.
The mountain lion turned toward me and hissed. Chocolate Raspberry Apple Pie.

It. Was. Foaming. At. The. Mouth.

If I didn't know the cat could be rabid, I would've never done something so stupid. Six weeks of extremely painful shots for me! Yay! Not.

It lunged. I managed not to get bitten. That's really good.

Owowowowow!!! I forgot the thing had killer claws. I gave it a good scratch on the side of the head, but it just swung around and bit my paw.

It. Bit. Me.

I didn't know the cat was sneaking up on me while I was fretting about my paw until a shape bowled it over, snarling. It was Hershey.

"Hey, man, I couldn't let you get torn to pieces, right?" he asked me.
"Don't get bitten--" I replied, but before I had finished my sentence, the cat had bitten him.

Ice suddenly lunged out of the girls cabin, and completely tackled it. The cat was too surprised to give her much injuries, but it still bit her at least once.

Cassius and Hermione came charging out of their cabins. They worked well as a unit, but the mountain lion had injured them both before Vine attacked it (And got bitten as well).

Mum and Dad came out, but they darted towards the car and stayed there, too chicken to help us.

The cat closed in on us, when a gray blur came out of nowhere. It was the lynx. It circled the bigger cat, distracting it.

"Run! Save yourselves!" the lynx shouted. Us wolves made a mad dash towards the car, and made it.

Meanwhile, the lynx and the rabid cougar were locked in combat. Suddenly, the smaller cat darted up a tree. The big cat looked around, confused, until the lynx jumped out of the tree. The impact sent the bigger cat on its side, and the lynx went for the throat. After the mountain lion was dead, the lynx ran back into the woods where it came from.

Dad ran back outside to get the big cat for a rabies test, and started driving us to the hospital.

As for the fox, I think he ran away.

Bye for now, Salty.

[VesVes]

Dear Saltface,

I'm writing this from---you guessed it!--the hospital. This one is not as boring as most wolves might think. True, it's the closest to our campsite, so there's not Internet connection due to being up in the mountains. But we can still watch TV and play video games, which Ice and Hershey are doing right now.

Today is the day after the attack. They're performing lab tests on the mountain lion to see if it has rabies or not. Mum and Dad visit us often.

Suddenly, our nurse appeared in our room...thing. "The tests results have come out. I'm sorry, but the test result is positive. The cat had rabies, which means you'll be continuing your shots," she told us.

Six more weeks of pain! Yay! Not.

Then she came back with THE GIANT NEEDLE. It was thiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssss long. Huge. AND IT HURTS LIKE CRAZY.

She gave us each a shot (Owowowowow!!) and told us that we still have some time left in the hospital. Hermione was whining that she would miss the school play, and they would have to get a first-grader to play her part instead. Nut.

Anywaaaaayyyy...

See ya later, Saltface.