Dear Saltface...Diary of a Misunderstood PPS Kid

[VesVes]

This is yet another CS pet diary. So, enjoy!

And if you're too lazy to click all of the little links, here is the link to the entire group.

Btw, Harry Potter and all the characters of Harry Potter are owned by J.K. Rowling, but I made two characters by the same name as two of J.K. Rowling characters.


Yes, another interview thing. That bandwagon sounds too awesome not to jump on. Anyway, PM me and you can interview one of the following characters:
~ Voldemort/Voldie
~ Snowy
~ Hershey
~ Ice
~ Vine
~ Hermione
~ Cassius
~ Mercury
~ Silver
~ Whirlpool
~ Goliath
~ Derek
~ Liluye

First entry:

Dear stupid journal,

Mum bought me one and demanded me to write in it. Aargh. So stand by as I tell you the story of my weird life.

My name is Voldemort Collins. And believe me, I've heard all the jokes about my name.

"OMG, You-Know-Who is coming to kill us all!"
"Someone call Harry Potter, Voldemort is back!"

I mean, seriously. No, I am not an evil wizard. I am a wolf who contracted PPS and probably had a Harry Potter nut for a birth mother. But I never really knew her. She died shortly after me and my twin sister, Ice, were born. My older sister, Hermione, claims that she knows my real mother well. Nut. What's ironic about her name is that she gets C's and D's in all of her classes. Oh, and an F in math.

That's my real family. My birth family. We were all adopted together, so let me tell you about our adopted family.

First of all, Mum. She goes by many names:
1. Mum
2. Adopted Mum
3. Himalaya Collins
4. Himalaya
5. Mrs. Collins
6. Chocolate addict
7. Insane weirdo

Let me explain the last one. She picks favorites, you see. Favorites get showered with a little too much affection. Those who are not favorites--beware!!

Dad is okay. He actually participates with us children, helps us study for a test, cooks some of our meals, plays video games with us, etc.

Now on to the siblings. There's Cassius. He's Mum's absolute favorite, but he's still pretty cool. He's older then me and Ice, but not as old as Hermione. Then there's Vine. She is the eldest, and can sometimes be a little bratty, but I think that's because Mum hates her. Now on to my favorite sibling, who is also my best friend at school. His name is...Hershey Collins!!! He can sometimes be a little scary, but I don't hold that against him.

Oh yes, today is Sunday, which means there's school tomorrow.
SCHOOL TOMORROW?!?! NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!

Aargh. Well, you do need a name. I decided on Saltface. Is that good enough?

See ya, Saltface.

[~Ktalinfadri~]

Moar!!

[VesVes]

Thanks, I'm glad someone reads this. I will update randomly, but most likely there will be more tomorrow.

[~Ktalinfadri~]

Yay!

[nostalgiatech]

I liek. Makes me feel like pie. Mmmm. Pie. 8D

[VesVes]

More for you guys! =D

Dear Saltface,

Breakfast was a complete fiasco. Totally. Let me tell you about it.

The first thing I noticed that was abnormal was: Mum was cooking the toast. She never cooks anything for us, let alone toast. Mmm. I smell syrup. French toast. Yummy.

When she was done cooking the toast, I noticed that everyone's toast was different. Mine was all right, but Cassius's had this mouth-watering aroma that put everyone in a sort of trance, while Vine's was pitch-black.
"Muuummm!!" Vine complained. "You burnt my toast!"
Mum took the burnt toast and put it in the toaster oven. Vine slapped a paw to her forehead. When Mum opened the toaster oven, the toast exploded. Tiny crumbs of pitch-black toast rained down on us. Then, Dad cooked a piece of toast for Vine, which came out pretty good.

Nothing else happened until we were putting syrup on our toast. Dad, having a sharp eye and ear, pointed out, "Ice, that's barbecue sauce you're putting on your toast, sweetie."
Ice looked down at her toast. "I want another piece."
"Now, Ice," Dad said, apparently sensing a tantrum coming.
Chocolate Raspberry Apple Pie. Isn't she too old for tantrums? I mean, we are in middle school! But she does have PPS like me, which makes it different for her.
"Ice," Mum warned. "You'd better eat that toast or go to your room."
Ice stomped into her room, and then, the tantrum erupted like Mount St. Helens.

Shortly after Ice came back from her room, Cassius asked, "Can I have another piece? I'm still hungry."
While Mum was cooking another piece, Vine snarled at him. "Bet you love getting showered with affection every day, while I sit jealously and get ignored."
Cassius snarled back. "I tell you, it's not fun. It's embarrassing to have friends over and have my mother smothering me with kisses, or choking me with hugs. Three girls have turned me down because of her."
Vine lost it. She threw her toast at Cassius, who reacted by throwing the barbecue sauce at Vine. I'm telling you, there's an ongoing war between them.

None of the rest of us got involved until Ice threw her toast at Vine. Then, the food fight began. It was everybody against everybody, while the parents watched in the background. Soon, Hermione shouted, "Hey, everybody, let's throw food at Ice!"
Man, that was fun until Ice shouted, "NO FAIR!!!"
"I have a better idea!" Hershey declared. "Let's all pretend we're Hogwarts students, defending the school from Voldemort!"

Oh, boy. I can see where this one is going.

I was getting showered in food, when I had a brilliant idea. I ran into the kitchen.
"He retreated!" shouted Hershey. "We won!"
Truth was, that was not my idea at all. I opened the freezer, and got out a bag of frozen green beans. Man, I love my frozen green beans, but when they're thawed/cooked, they taste horrible! But I'm not going to eat them. Not yet.

I rushed back into the dining room with the frozen green beans. I took a pawful of green beans, threw them at Ice, and shouted, "Avada kedavra!" Ice pretended to drop dead.
"Oh no!" shouted Vine. "He's starting to--" But before she could finish her sentence, I threw some green beans at her, and she, too, pretended to drop dead.

Pretty soon, everyone except me were pretending to be dead. I started munching on some frozen green beans that were still in the bag. Frozen green beans taste so good!
Hershey got up, and yelled, "Let's go it again!"
"Woah." Dad stepped forward. "There's thirty minutes until school, and you've got to clean this mess. Then, I want you all to take a shower, and brush your fur really well. Then come down here and get ready for school."

We all hit the shower, and we were ready to go to school, a.k.a. the most boring place ever invented.

Bye, Saltface. See ya later!

[~Ktalinfadri~]

YAY!

[VesVes]

And more!

Dear Saltface,

School. Blehhhh...

My siblings and I arrived at the gates. We all split up, except for me and Hershey.
"Looks like they're decorating it for Christmas," Hershey commented. I looked up. Mistletoe. Chocolate Raspberry Apple Pie. Whenever a boy passes by, groups of girls sometimes "accidentally" wander under the mistletoe. Most of the time, they don't care about if they guy walking by already has a girlfriend. Speaking of girlfriends...here comes Snowy Green! She's my girlfriend, and no one else's. Snowy is truly AWESOME. She doesn't tease me about my name, or the time Mum picked us up. (I don't want to go in to details about that story.)

"Hi!" Snowy greeted me.
"Wassup?" I asked.
"Better look up," Snowy warned. "I've seen mistletoe directly above someone's desk once. It could be anywhere."
I looked up. No mistletoe. Good.
"We should probably go to class," I told her.
"Yeah," she replied.

What's awesome about my homeroom class is that Ice, Snowy, and Hershey are in it! There's also another PPS kid, Whirlpool Hollyberry, brother of Goliath Hollyberry, who's also in my homeroom class. Goliath is actually Hermione's age, but he got held back several grades. Oh yeah, there's also that weird girl named Strawberry Vanilla, Stravi for short. I always forget her last name. That's all who I can name right now, I'm too lazy to name the rest. When I got to my desk, a worksheet that was meant for elementary pups was waiting for me. The worksheet said,

About you

1. What is your first name?


2. What is your last name?


3. What is your middle name?


4. What is your favorite color?


5. What is your favorite food?


6. What do other wolves like to call you?


7. Do you have PPS?


8. What is your favorite subjects?


9. Do you have any siblings? If so, who?


10. Who are your friends?


This is what mine looked like when it was done:

About you

1. What is your first name?
Voldemort

2. What is your last name?
Collins

3. What is your middle name?
Wolves don't have middle names!

4. What is your favorite color?
Dark blue, I guess.

5. What is your favorite food?
FROZEN GREEN BEANS!!!

6. What do other wolves like to call you?
Voldemort, Voldy, You-Know-Who

7. Do you have PPS?
Yes

8. What are your favorite subjects?
Lunch and science

9. Do you have any siblings? If so, who?
Yes, I have five siblings: Vine, Hermione, Cassius, Hershey, and Ice.

10. Who are your friends?
Hershey and Snowy (Snowy Green)

When everyone turned theirs in, the teacher looked at them all. I'll tell you the rest later, I'm too bored.

Bye for now, Saltface!

[VesVes]

OMG, two entries in one day? *gasp*

Dear Saltface,

Like I said, I'll tell you the rest.

"Favorite food results were interesting," the teacher commented. "There were a lot of you who said something like pizza or chocolate, but someone eats his vegetables. He put frozen green beans for his answer."
Instantly, all the student's heads were turned towards me. I sunk low in my chair.

So, yeah. That was homeroom. Next is snack.

Remember the mistletoe? I finally let my guard down, and wandered under it. And guess who was under it with me? THE PRINCIPAL!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Luckily, I made a mad dash toward Snowy before the principal had time to look up.

Vine and Cassius weren't so lucky. They wandered under the mistletoe...WITH EACH OTHER!! And a teacher was right there, so he made them kiss, and he didn't believe them when they told him that they were siblings. As soon as the teacher's back was turned, Vine punched Cassius in the face, and Cassius poked her in the eye.

"I can't wait until lunch," Hershey declared. "I brought something special."

Okay, now I'm scared. Last time he said that, he brought WARM green beans and made me eat them. Blehhhh....

Oh, the bell just rang. Off to math with me...

Ugh. Quiz today. I hate math quizzes.

Voldemort--

Nice diary, but please focus on your math.

AAAAHHHHH!!!!! THE TEACHER JUST WROTE IN MY JOURNAL!!! IN PEN!!! AND DARED TO CALL IT A DIARY!!!

Meh. Now I'll have to put it down and focus in my math. I hate math...

See ya later, Saltface.

[VesVes]

Here's another.

Dear Saltface,

I think I did well on my math quiz. I hope I did.

Anyway, the bell just rang for lunch. I'm scared...

Snowy, Hershey, and I sat down at a table. Snowy pulled out her lunch.
"Let me see...an egg sandwich, a chocolate eclair, a lemon poppy seed muffin, and an apple," she recited, pulling out her lunch.
I pulled out mine. "Yes! Dad packed me my frozen green beans! With an ice pack so they stay frozen! And he gave me pepper to put on it!"

Voldemort's Frozen Green Bean Recipe:

What you need:
~ A bag of frozen green beans
~ A teaspoon of pepper

What to do:
~ Make sure the green beans stay frozen.
~ Pour the pepper in the bag
~ Stir, serve, and enjoy!

Yeah, I made a recipe for it. Is that so bad?

Hershey pulled out his usual: A turkey and swiss sandwich, a banana, and some juice. Then, he pulled out a jar of pure cinnamon and two spoons. Oh no oh no oh no...

"I challenge you to this contest!" he declared. "The first one to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon is the winner!"

Snowy, help meeee......

I took a spoon, and dipped it into the cinnamon. Hershey did the same. Then, we both poured the spice into our mouths.

AAAHHH!!! IT'S LIKE MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE!!! HELP!!!

Okay, got to focus. Come on, swallow it, swallow!!! I took a great big gulp. And believe it or not, I swallowed it!! I looked over at Hershey, who had made a beeline for the nearest bathroom. Luckily, there's one nearby. I had to a happy dance. I just had to. Snowy was laughing her head off. When Hershey finally came back, the bell rang for science. I rather like science, actually.

I'll talk later, Salty!