Winter Dreams - a story

[SilverDoe]

I love writing stories, but I've never posted any on CS yet. This will be my first. Please tell me what you think of it. So, here goes...

Chapter 1 - The Diary

Mellisa brushed a soft tear from her cheek. She resented her parents decision to send her off to a boarding school in England for the winter. She hated England - though she had only just set foot there, she had already made up her mind about that. She had no friends here, an there wasn't even a good chance of getting decent snow... how on earth was she supposed to have fun? Her parents might see this as a chance for her to get a better education, but she saw this as an abandonment. She couldn't even come home from Christmas - sure, her family would visit. She didn't care about that, all she wanted was to escape those high metal walls at the entrance of the boarding school. She could already picture them in her mind - she shook her head to clear it. She reached into her bag and pulled out the leather-bound diary she had recieved as a goodbye present. As soon as she reached the hotel she would be staying at for the weekend, she took it out and began to write:

Dear Diary,
I'm surprised anyone actually bothered to give me a present. I know I'm not being very grateful, but I feel abandoned. This is my first day in this awful place. It's a Sunday - I'll have to start at this boarding school tomorrow. I'll hate it. I know I will. I miss all my friends - I wish I could talk to Kyle right now, or laugh at one or Leah's jokes. I've sent them both an email, but I wish I was actually there. I'll have to go to sleep soon, but not yet. I can phone Leah after school tomorrow - I already miss her voice. I feel sleepy, and will have to wake up early tomorrow, so I really should stop writing.
Goodbye,
Mellisa

Mellisa tucked away her diary and curled up in her bed, exausted. It was so soft, and right at that moment, she didn't care about anythin exept for drifting into a warm, soft sleep...

Sorry, I know it isn't very long, but I'll write more later. Please tell me what you think.

[PurpleMonkey]

Cool!!!!!

[SilverDoe]

Thanks

[Mirry]

This is good so far.

[SilverDoe]

(Thanks, Mirri)

Chapter 2 - First Day

Mellisa heaved her back-pack onto her shoulder and looked over the gate. The garden was mostly cemented, with a few trees and weeds that had managed to push their way up. The gate was locked. Mellisa heaved a sigh - trust her to be here early, it would probably just make people think she was some sort of nerd. It was bad enough that she was here on a scholorship, she didn't need more reasons for people to think of her as a freak.

The school's gate open, at a teacher beckon her in. Nervous, Mellisa followed her into a hall full of people. So I'm late, not early after all she thought. As though she had read her mind, Mellisa's teacher shook her head and smiled. It took Mellisa a few seconds to realise that everyone was staring at her. She blushed and looked down.
'This is a place for the early birds.' the teacher explained. 'They wait here until the other students arrive.' turning to everyone else in the room, she added
'This is Mellisa, a new student who will be staying here for the winter on a scholorship. I expect you all to give her a very warm welcome.' she turned back to Mellisa and gave her a map of the school grounds.
'Remember, all the classes are marked in on the left. The corridors on the right are off grounds to students.' she warned.

Mellisa sat next to a girl in curly black hair who had introduced herself as Caroline during classes, and usually ended up giving Caroline her notes - Caroline turned out to be the kind of girl who barley ever listened in class. Most of the lessons went with out incident, though once Caroline had been caught looking over Mellisa's notes. This had resulted in detention for Caroline every evening for the following week and, looking dejected, Caroline had been the first to leave the room when the lesson had finished.

Apparently, Caroline had saved a table for Mellisa at lunch, for she waved her over as soon as she saw her. Happy to be included, Mellisa walked over. Caroline was whispering frantically something along the lines of
'Sorry, not this week after all... detention. But guess what? Mellisa has a map, and all the corridors are marked in on it, including those ones. Isn't that great?' she squeaked happily.
'What are you talking about?' Mellisa inquired,confused. 'Anyways, I have to give back the map the day after tomorrow.'
'Oh, hi Mell! We were wondering about why the right corridors were forbidden, so I decided to organise an 'expedition'.' Caroline laughed, winking.
'It was going to take place tonight, but because of that annoying detention... anyways, you can just pretend you lost the map. So, are you up for it?'
'Maybe...' Mellisa pondered. It would be fun to do something exiting here with Caroline - she was the one who had been thinking about how dull this winter was bound to be, stuck here in Britain - but what would her parents say if they found out? Oh, forget about them urged a voice at the back of her mind They were the ones who sent you here in the first place.
'Come on, don't be such a goodie-goodie.' moaned Caroline
'Lets do something fun here for once.' Mellisa found herself agreeing.
'Okay - I'm in!' suddenly, this winter had gained a whole new prospective.

[Mirry]

Ohh! Good twist!

[PercabethObsessed]

It's pretty good, but I say honnestly that I wasn't very intreuged in the beginning. I was going to post that you should try to add maybe a little more to your beginning to pull the reader in but then I saw someone had posted:

Ohh! Good twist!

so I went back to read it. I think you have a good plot though some parts got confusing with grammar such as when Caroline was looking off Melisa's notes. On the whole it was definitely good but I think you should add to it. Pardon me if I'm being offensive for some reason but please understand that that is not my direct intention. I simply wanted to tell you what I thought so you could improve or whatnot.