Draekin

[fg05281]

Synopsis

Berdal is the princess of the guild of fire, an elite group of assassins. Or at least, she was. On the run from her former best friend and future husband, Vepamor, attempting to forgive her brother for his betreyal, and trying to find her parents, whom are also on the run, Berdal must literally dodge some bullets in this Fantasy Novel.

So yeah, this is a thing. This is what I am writing for Camp NaNoWriMo, and I'm going to try and post everything on here, because I think it would be good to get some criticism from others. I'll try to put up at least a chapter a day, and they will be anywhere 500 words and above, or at least, I'll try to make them that length. If this becomes inactive(if it isn't finished), And it isn't the end of july,
bug me about it. Please, actually bug me about it. that would be appreciated. Criticism is good! I'm open to being criticized,
but if you do, give a suggestion about how to fix it if it is a negative comment. Thank you <3

Chapters

These are the chapters I am either currently working on, or have finished. If they have a link, they have been posted. If they are bolded, they are done and I'm waiting for something to post it. If they are in italics, they are not finished, and I'm working on them off-site.

Chapter 1-
An unfortunate meeting with a friend

Chapter 2-
OK, he wasn’t a friend. I lied

Chaper 3-
Why? Just… Why?

Chapter 4-
Another day, another dead body.

Chapter 5-
I get a surprise. And not the good kind.

Chapter 6-
Ok, the surprise doesn’t come in until now, but whatever.

Chapter 7-
Did you find the surprise? Probably not.

Chapter 8-
I’m… Home?

Chapter 9-
I do a lot of explaining.

Chapter 10-
My baby boy saves the day? I hope.

Chapter 11-
And so it begins.

News

I will put any upcoming dates for releases, past release dates, or anything else here.

July 1st 2017- Chapter 1 was released.
July 2nd 2017- Chapter 2 was released.
July 4th 2017- Chapter 3 was released.
July 10th 2017- Chapter 4 was released.
July 12th 2017- Chapter 5 was released.
July 18th 2017- Chapter 6 was released.
July 19th 2017- Chapter 7 was released.
July 20th 2017- Chapter 8 was released.
July 21st 2017- Chapter 9 will be released.
July 22nd 2017- Chapter 10 will be released.
July 22nd through July 25th 2017- I will not be able to post anything, as I am going on vacation. During this time, I will not be working on Camp Nano, or writing in general. My apologies.

[fg05281]

Ok, chapter 1 is up. Posting is now allowed, and criticism open.

“found you” The familiar voice sounded as I passed a dark alleyway, at the edge of a busy evening crowd. Glancing about, adrenaline beginning to pump, i found him. Dressed in a fancy dress suit and tie, holding a briefcase. We stood, two epicenters of the storm that was foot traffic, people actually avoiding us in a foot radius. Turning after a moment of watching his smug face, I bolted into the alley, my usual only slight limp becoming a huge hazard as i flung it against the pavement in my attempt at escape. My senses fine tuned to listen only at the sound of pursuit, and the beating of my feet on pavement.

I pulled out a small wooden ball, smooth against my hand and whispered into it, “Explode” Throwing it over my shoulder, I ran harder, putting on a burst of speed. The satisfying boom that appeared behind me brought a smile to my lips, but still, I never stopped running. Doing that was suicide. Because although I knew that my pursuer was stalled, they weren’t at a full stop.

Up ahead, a pair of glowing yellow cat’s eyes watched, at the dead end of where I was running. Skidding to a stop, I glared at the eyes, then turned. A second pair of angrier looking eyes sat in the shadows directly behind me. I was trapped. Glancing up, my eyes scanned the rooftops for that professional looking figure, and I found him. He stood on a low-standing roof, Watching me down below. Pretending I didn’t see him, I turned to the pair of eyes at the end of the alley-way.

“I suppose Vepamor sent you two.” My tone conversational. They weren’t at all phased, and the one I was facing gave a hiss of confirmation. A strange sound came from the man’s direction. Or at least, it would be if I were anyone but who I was, that is. “Berdal, Dearest. Do you think I’m dumb enough to go into a dark alleyway with you?” His question brought a laugh to my lips, startling the two surrounding me a bit. In the same language, I replied, “You may be a fool, Vepamor. But, I suppose you have times of being less idiotic than usual. But can you really believe that two of your Draeklins, even your best, can kill me?” He laughed, as if this were a joke. As if I were messing around. “Berdal, Dear. I don’t expect them to KILL you.” Cryptically, that was all he said before backing up into the darkness, leaving one image of him to remain within my mind. The shine of his light blue-green eyes staring at me. Watching me with the same eyes I watched him with.

As Vepamor departed, his men moved in. The one at the back of the alley spoke in a dark tone, raising his voice. “Berdal Capae, First heir to the throne of the guild of fire, Betrothed to Vepamor, You cannot escape us.” He extended a hand from the almost palpable shadows. It was familiarly reptilian, with scales lining the back and claws replacing fingernails. I growled deep within my throat. Flesh shifted and bones cracked. I roared in the pain, it had been a long year of learning how to shift and still, I was imperfect.

My tail formed first, and I knew they simply stood and watched me . A sound, like the crackling of a flame, and pain. It was always painful. But soon, I swung around a powerful appendage happily, a first line of defence. Next, the rest of my body moved about and morphed, turning from human to… not.

Scales covered the outer edges of my arms and legs, I knew, while a mix of spines and scales lay upon my back, and my shoulder-blades had become much longer, pointing out as if to represent something that should be there. When I was finally done, I hissed happily in my natural language.

“Come at me, boys.” My eyes scanned the pair, who had patiently waited for my true form to appear. A crooked smile hit my broken, reptilian lips. They hissed and sunk down, ready to attack. “You could never beat me back when we were in the guild, why would you be able to do it now?” They seemed anxious at this, shifting uncomfortably.

“Stop this, Lady Berdal. Just give up and let us win. Then this may all be over” The one behind me, as I twisted to look at him. A lightweight piece of fabric lay in his clawed hand, and I backed away from it slightly. Like I didn’t know what was going on now.
A pair of wings extended from his back, and I cursed. Not only was I a girl, but also an adolescent girl. This blowed. A sound as of a feral cat extended from the back of my throat, and a pair of silvery daggers lay in my claws, which was a feat for most. For me, it was just the same old, same old. They were made for me, personally, and fit my clawshape perfectly.

We began to spar, just me and one of them, exchanging blows. One with razor sharp talons, the other with razor sharp daggers. We liked sharp things, admittedly. A wild call came from behind, and a net extended over my head as my contender hurriedly backed away.

It fell upon me like the shadow of a bird, falling upon its prey. I quickly became entangled, and they both laughed. “Never turn your back on an enemy.” They teased as they ripped the knives from my clawed hands, and bound what they could while I thrashed. We all paused, though, when we heard voices. I began shifting back to human, which was easier than one would expect, with the extra muscles simply absorbing into my body with little pain, then patching up the area where it would be with a slip of skin. The scales retreated, and then I was just me again, laying on the floor in a net.

The other two weren’t nearly as skilled, and smartly bound up the walls to wait. My hands were still bound, and I needed to get them untied. The voices came closer, and I smiled with what I saw, secretly. A pair of high schoolers, playing a game of manhunt, decided to hide here. They both paused as they saw me, and rushed over, forgetting their game.

“Hello, Are you ok? Are you awake?” The first asked. Both were male, and fairly nice specimens of the human species. They had to be almost graduated from high school, either Juniors or Seniors, because they were ripped. And I mean, Ripped, As in a full 6 pack of abs and sculpted bodies. If I wasn’t in a net, I would have happily looked at them more, but unfortunately, I was in a net, and that was a problem.

“I-I’m ok. I’m here.” My speech came out breathless, as I wanted it to. Wasn’t really that hard. The one who spoke first started untangling me from my webby cage, while the second knelt down to look at me. “My name is Michael, and this is my friend David. What is your name?” He was very polite, and I could appreciate that.

“I’m… I’m Grace… G-Grace Win-Winters.”
“Grace winters? Ok, Grace. We’ll get you out of here. Dave, I’ll stay here with her and you go and get the police.”

The man who had just untangled me stood and nodded, before running off. Michael sat down and slowly put his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close to him. It was probably supposed to be comforting, and I guess it kinda was. But it reminded me too much of what Vepamor was like… What he was like before he became a selfish, evil son-of-a-devil.

Either way, it was a strange comfort, and I let him fuss over me, making sure I was ok. Strangely, I had not a single bruise, or cut, or anything. We sat for a while, until the sound of running came from the entrance. A pair of policemen followed David into the alley, and they worked their way around the scene.

[Ranger of the North]

Mark! That escalated quickly! O.O

[fg05281]

Yes, yes it did. Next Chapter is gonna be a lot shorter guys, srry, and it is a lot more tame XD

[Ranger of the North]

Lol

[fg05281]

Ok, yeah, It's rlly short. I'm so sorry, it's just a little bit of a quieter Chapter, so I can rest up my fingers. More coming soon!

I told them what they needed to as they comforted me. They wanted to know why I had been in the alley, I had seen a stray cat and it had been so thin, I was going to take it to a shelter, when it ran in. Two creeps had run up behind me and put a net on me, but I hadn’t seen their faces. When Michael and David had came in, they ran, but I didn’t know how.

The police let me go home, and I did so gratefully. Michael offered to give me a drive with him and his buddies, since David had gone to get them to tell them the game was off, and they had all met up. It seemed to be about 10 Seniors, who all pretty much treated me like I was some little kid to be taken care of. It was ok, though, since they were all really nice. There were four girls in the group, and they shooed of the guys to fix up my hair and makeup, which was minimal, but they did a good job.

They were all dating one of the guys in the group, but it seemed that Michael and this guy named Titan were the only two without a girlfriend. We all hung out at Michael’s place, which was this big apartment that he shared with David and Titan, and David’s girlfriend whose name was Ashley. Most of the names of the group went over in a blur, but I decided they were nice people. I needed to protect them from Vepamor and his goons. They wouldn’t pollute these kind teenagers.

As I grew tired, Michael, who told me to call him Mike or Mikey, decided I should probably go home. We got in his big dark blue minivan, and started toward my part of town. We didn’t talk much, besides to note that this was a mom car and he was most definitely not a mom.

“Well, the others can’t afford a car by themselves, so we carpool a lot. We all pitched in, and whenever we need to go places, I usually drive.” He explained, making me laugh. We got to a set of condos and he walked me to my door, where my roommate stood waiting.

“Tash-”

“Don’t you dare Tasha me, Grace Mariah Winters! Do you know how worried I have been? You said you would be home in like, ten minutes. It has been four hours! The store said you had never gotten there, and then I saw police lights…” My fiery friend glared at Mike. “Then you come back with a Guy?! What am I supposed to think? If I was your mother, I would ground you. As it is, I’m not doing dishes for a month. You are. Now come inside and explain. NOW.” She said she wasn’t my mother, but I knew she really acted like one. “Ok, Natasha.” Turning to Mike, I sighed. “Welp, I’ll call you later, Mike. Thanks for the ride home.” He nodded like a gentlemen and went back to his van, where he started it up and drove off. Tasha motioned me inside and I groaned. I was so not ready for this.

[ｔｓｕｙｕ ａｓｕｉ ♔]

hey! so this is turning out pretty awesome, and im excited for the next chapters, but i have to admit it was a bit of struggle to read bc youre not formatting your dialogue correctly
theres supposed to be line breaks after every different person talking. you did it once, but there were a couple other instances where you forgot to. other than that, just remember to proof read -- but since this is a camp thing and it's quantity over quality, it's a bit permissible

looking forward to more!

[fg05281]

hey! so this is turning out pretty awesome, and im excited for the next chapters, but i have to admit it was a bit of struggle to read bc youre not formatting your dialogue correctly
theres supposed to be line breaks after every different person talking. you did it once, but there were a couple other instances where you forgot to. other than that, just remember to proof read -- but since this is a camp thing and it's quantity over quality, it's a bit permissible

looking forward to more!

Yeah, most of this is mostly unedited, so there are bound to be tons of mistakes. But that is what ya'll are here for!

[fg05281]

I changed the title of this chapter. Also, I might be a little slow in getting everything up, because I've been having muse problems. But... here ya go. A chapter. It ends kinda abruptly but that is cuz I didn't wanna make it too long. I was trying to get one chapter out a day, but that isn't going quite how I wanted it to. Lol. Anyways, I hope you don't miss the Fourth wall, cuz it kinda went away this chapter. Don't worry, it will be built again before the next chapter(Maybe).

Tasha walked inside and spun on me as soon as we got in. “Ok, Grace. Explain.” I was sat down at the couch and my roommate stood before me. She glared at me, even as I rubbed my face with my hands. “Tasha, this is difficult for me to expla-” “Then explain it” Glancing up at her, I realized she wasn’t going to back down.

Oh, that’s annoying. “Ok. Fine.” Standing, I told her what I had told the police, and she made a disbelieving sound. “You are so lucky, G. Just… I’m going to bed. It’s been a long night.” She turned around, hands in the air, and walked up the stairs. I sighed, sitting back down. He had found me again, so I would have to leave soon. Annoying.

Moving slowly, I limped about the apartment, checking to make sure that my wards were still active. Simple things that would make sure that I would know when people came in and out, and who they were. If Vepamor were to get in, I wanted to know, so I could get Tasha out as soon as I could.

Pulling out my phone as I went into my room, I pulled up Mike’s number, which he had given me at his house, I texted him.

Hey, can I crash at your house tomorrow? I hoped he would let me, because he was on the radar too. If I didn’t get the wards up at his house, he would be targeted too, eventually.

Yeah, It didn’t go well with Tasha? He asked, and I sighed in relief as I went up the stairs to my bedroom. No, She didn’t take anything too well. Thanks. Smiling a bit, I put my phone on my bedside table. Taking a shower was a luxury at a time like this, and I relished the opportunity, changing into nice soft pajamas. It had been a long day, and as I tucked myself into bed, I couldn’t help but feel like it wouldn’t end there. I was right.

Nightmares had always plagued me, even as a hatchling. I guess it was no different that night.

It was a memory. I guess it could be a nightmare, but this was tame compared to some of the things I dreamt about. My ladies in waiting were doing my hair, pulling it back into plaits that lay long at my back. One of them told me I should cut my hair, then another said that would be blasphemy. It was so pretty.

A knock at the door. Powerless to stop my own voice, I answered. “Vepamor, is that you dear?” Ugh I was so gross! To believe I actually had loved that idiot at some point. A chuckle arose, and I knew it was him. At least, powerless, silly, dream me did. I did too, but I knew beforehand.

“Come on in, you fool. You act as if you need permission.” Giggling, I moved away from my ladies to meet Vepamor. He was in his Draekin from, the same as me, and he took my clawed hands in his. “I don’t like interrupting you, dearest. Her Majesty, Briodal, wishes council with you.” He said, moving away, my hand still in his.

“Why didn’t you tell me before you foolish man. That is so like you.” But, as always, I was head over heals. He was about a year older than me, so to be betrothed to him made 14 year old me so happy. What a fool I was. “Well, I like surprises, my dear.” He glanced at me. We had been walking through the halls of the guild for a while during our bickering, and had finally reached the throne room.

Briodal sat on her throne, Jikazal holding her hand besides her. My parents watched me approach, and I released my betrothed hand to go sit on my smaller throne, which lay at my mother’s open side, her left. She held up a hand to stop me, and I stood before her, obediently, but angrily.

“What do you wish from me, Mother?” The Queen looked at me, but did not answer immediately. “Vepamor, leave.” My betrothed bowed, then left, replaced by my brother, who stood at my side, watching our Mother and Father.

“Xioxur, come here, young one. This does not concern you yet.” Mother called, and the three-year-old ran up to her, leaping into her lap, and held within her blue scaled arms. “As for you, flameling.” Jikazal spoke, standing, and walking toward me. “We wish you to begin training” I looked at them like they were crazy.

The me who knew everything, the one currently narrating, wanted to scream that they were always right, and to just accept it. The dream me backed away from my father. “Dad. WHAT? I shouldn’t have to train, I’m the Princess!” Complaining came so easily to me when I was younger. He just sighed, though, and put his hand on my shoulder.

“Flameling, it is for the best. You need to be able to defend yourself. Who knows, we could be dethroned, and you would just be a regular member of the guild. Then, you would have to take jobs. Age 14 is when you begin training, for all members. Even you. Now, your mentor shall be waiting outside the doors. Good luck.” With that, my father left me. I broiled in my skin.

Who were they to decide this? I was old enough to do this all by myself! At least, at the time I had thought that. I spun on my heels and stormed out the door, half-ignoring the man who was supposed to be training me as I went down the hall to the training rooms.

[Ranger of the North]

Salty bebbe cx