Fake or Real?

[tacobaby343]

Have you ever known a so-called "fake person"?
You know, the ones those people hate so much.
"Oh my gawwwddddd she's sooooooo fake!"
Those girls that pretend they know everything.
The ones that act like they've got it all.

Are you fake?
Not like those girls that everyone hates but...
You're holding your whole life together by a charade.
Nothing they think they know about you is the truth.
You. Are. Fake.

You are a liar,
You lie about being happy.
You lie that everything is okay.
You smile everyday hoping nobody will see past it.
It makes you cringe, and your whole body shudders at the feeling of that terrible quality fake smile.

It almost hurts, doesn't it?
You almost wince, don't you?
You're afraid you'll give it away.
Why try to hide anyway? What's the point in it?
Well, hiding is way easier to explain than telling people is.

"No, I swear nothing happened to me today... I'm just always sad."
"No, nobody said anything bad to me... I'm always like this."
"No, there's nothing you can do to help...I can't be fixed."
"No, I won't get better...I'm stuck like this forever."
Because it's easier to hide the truth than to speak it, and nobody would understand if you told them.

"Just be more optimistic."
I'm trying.
"Try harder."
The thing is I can barely manage to get out of bed most mornings.
And I think it's kind of over stepping to ask me to put all my effort into changing my whole mindset.

This isn't new.
I'm not turning depressed through puberty.
When I was four, FOUR, I told my mother that I felt like nobody loved me.
"Don't worry honey, we do." A year later, "Mom I feel totally unimportant."
"Don't worry honey, you'll feel better soon."

Years later, I just feel worse.
When she found out I self harmed she asked me
"Where is this coming from?! Why are you all of a sudden depressed?!"
This isn't new mom, you shouldn't be surprised if you had listened to me.
I've been this way for years.

And all of those years ago,
when I told people.
Nobody listened, nobody understood.
And that is why now, I am living a lie.
That is why I'm a fake person, but not the ones everyone hates...Because nobody knows about me.

[tacobaby343]

Have you ever known a so-called "fake person"?
You know, the ones those people hate so much.
"Oh my gawwwddddd she's sooooooo fake!"
Those girls that pretend they know everything.
The ones that act like they've got it all.

Are you fake?
Not like those girls that everyone hates but...
You're holding your whole life together by a charade.
Nothing they think they know about you is the truth.
You. Are. Fake.

You are a liar,
You lie about being happy.
You lie that everything is okay.
You smile everyday hoping nobody will see past it.
It makes you cringe, and your whole body shudders at the feeling of that terrible quality fake smile.

It almost hurts, doesn't it?
You almost wince, don't you?
You're afraid you'll give it away.
Why try to hide anyway? What's the point in it?
Well, hiding is way easier to explain than telling people is.

"No, I swear nothing happened to me today... I'm just always sad."
"No, nobody said anything bad to me... I'm always like this."
"No, there's nothing you can do to help...I can't be fixed."
"No, I won't get better...I'm stuck like this forever."
Because it's easier to hide the truth than to speak it, and nobody would understand if you told them.

"Just be more optimistic."
I'm trying.
"Try harder."
The thing is I can barely manage to get out of bed most mornings.
And I think it's kind of over stepping to ask me to put all my effort into changing my whole mindset.

This isn't new.
I'm not turning depressed through puberty.
When I was four, FOUR, I told my mother that I felt like nobody loved me.
"Don't worry honey, we do." A year later, "Mom I feel totally unimportant."
"Don't worry honey, you'll feel better soon."

Years later, I just feel worse.
When she found out I self harmed she asked me
"Where is this coming from?! Why are you all of a sudden depressed?!"
This isn't new mom, you shouldn't be surprised if you had listened to me.
I've been this way for years.

And all of those years ago,
when I told people.
Nobody listened, nobody understood.
And that is why now, I am living a lie.
That is why I'm a fake person, but not the ones everyone hates...Because nobody knows about me.