♛ - an eternal conundrum - ♛

[King Andre]

we dream of our nightmares before they happen

[King Andre]

It was raining again, as it did often in those late spring days. His room was dark save for his phone which was about to sleep, which he didn't notice. He was too busy focused on the window to the side of his bed. That rain. It was a night like this many springs ago he dreamed of this.

She had come home, putting her yellow umbrella away and taking off her coat. He was where he'd been when she left hours ago, at his desk. He barely turned to greet her, intent on the screen before him. Before him he typed what is now an unfinished story. Goodbye my sparrow.

She wrapped her arms around him, letting her head rest by his. "What are you writing about?" He simply kissed her cheek, unsure himself of what his subject matter was. She left him and went to bed, leaving him there alone to write in silence.

It occurred to him now, he was writing their story.

[King Andre]

My shattered dreams, stood there in front of my me.

[King Andre]

These hearts we hold are temporary, I only wish the feelings mine contained were just as ephemeral.

[King Andre]

"Alright, be good."
His father said before leaving with his mother. His parents were going out for the day and had left them with a baby sitter. It was the new girl who'd recently moved in next-door. She didn't have to, he figured, he was already 12 and she wasn't more than a few years older than him. He believed he was more than capable of watching over himself and his little siblings for a couple hours. Still, when he looked at her she seemed like grown up comparatively, and she was kinda pretty, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

Blow to his ego aside, he didn't mind having her around that day. He realized he spent most of it trying to impress her with his beginner level acrobatics and miscellaneous collections, although she did laugh so maybe he'd accomplished something. She made them dinner and they watched a movie. Somehow, their parents arrival didn't wake him up, and the next morning he was still on the sofa. He didn't tell anyone but he felt sad that she left without saying goodbye.

She continued being their babysitter for a while. He found that he could rely on her for advice or tell her about his day. He decided on morning that he would tell her how he felt. Maybe he'd even get to hold her hand.

"Aww, you're so cute." Was her response, accompanied by her ruffling his hair in a way that crushed his spirit.

A few years go by, and he's a teenager now. He finds himself wearing cologne and fixing his hair nice and tidy. Or wait, may not nice and tidy, maybe she likes it messy. We'll go with tidy for now. He was finally going to ask her out, for real this time. Sure, shes older by a couple years but hes a man now, somewhat. Finally a little taller than her, voice is deeper, he's got a chest hair or two, this was gonna be it. It WOULD have been it, but when he arrived at her house he found her outside with some guy who was clearly not her dad or brother.

"Oh hey, meet my boyfriend, hes just working on his car, what did you wanna ask me about?"


"Oh nothing, just wanted to swing by and say hello, I'll catch you later."

When he was finally back in his own room he found himself punching the air. "Boyfriend??? And he has a car, how the hell am I supposed to compete with that?"

As time went by, he found himself growing apart from her, naturally. He got busier with school and her boyfriend took up most of her free-time, so they talked less and less. He found someone else to confide his problems to, and gradually tried to push her out of his mind. Still, he came to her for advice and wisdom every so often if nothing else. History however seemed to repeat itself when he was unable to see her the day she left for college. No goodbye again.

Years floated past and he too eventually went off to university. The next time he saw her he was visiting home for the holidays. A man now with different problems and responsibilities than previously, but the same soft spot for her. One evening out shopping he encountered her and spend some time catching up. Before they parted ways for the night, he figured he'd ask her out. After-all, he was a whole head and a half taller than her now, had some actual facial hair, a ride, was set to graduate soon, and in his opinion, way better looking than before. Worst she could do was say no right? Wrong.

Aww, sorry but I'm engaged, good seeing you again though." Followed by her ruffling his curly hair in such an amiable fashion he couldn't help but feel his heart sink.

[King Andre]

The night time was daunting. Often the demons we attempt to lock away and feelings we tend to seal lurk in the shadows, waiting for an opportunity to to present themselves. He hated the night for this reason, it is also why he fell in love with the sun. But the sun's light was transient, never staying long enough to keep those monsters at bay forever. The waning sun eventually faded away leaving him with other beings of the dark. The stars in the sky were nothing but distant and scattered fragments of a brighter time to him. But it was impossible to overcome your enemies if you didn't acknowledged their existence. While those shards were far away, they provided just enough light to illuminate his problems, for better and worse.

[King Andre]

He always trusted the sun to set, he never trusted the moon to shine. The day would always come to an end, on everything, but it seemed like darkness was always reluctant to subside. The moon was only a dim reflection of a star, and even then it was often obscured by clouds.

[King Andre]

They were like day and night.

He was a star, she was full moon.

They were like day and night.

She always saw the little things, he focused on the big picture.

She doubted everything, he accepted not knowing anything.

She was fixated on the past, he was preoccupied with looking ahead of them.

They were like day and night.

Destined to be close but never together.

They were like day and night.

Warm and freezing, going through the same phases.

They were like day and night

never shining at the same time.

[King Andre]

They were both shards, pieces of different wholes that should have never fragmented.

He understood her for that reason.

Both of them shouldered a burden they weren't entirely ready to give to someone else. Perhaps they both hoped to return to where they split from, so they were unwilling to try and fit together.

She didn't ask for his soul nor heart, she couldn't ask for something she couldn't return. But what they could give, an ear and something to hold onto for the moment, was enough.

[King Andre]

and she said

"the sun always comes up, sometimes you just have to wait longer."