[♕]-sleep

[catdoqq]

hi. i'm lenny. i've decided to keep a little journal of my writing. i'm
not quite good, so bare with me.
feel free to post or whatever.
---

[catdoqq]

something that comes so easily to a normal human being.
she can't sleep.
she's always on edge, heart racing so fast, disgusting demons pulsing
through her. and she doesn't know how to stop it.
more importantly,
she feels alone.
when everyone's asleep, she's wide awake. almost every emotion racing
through her veins. her hands shake now. she feels like she can't do anyth
ing about it. she doesn't have that happy smile anymore, and instead a tired
frown replacing it.

she can sure put on a show, though.
white lies leave her mouth, entering the beliefs of other peers.
and it's so funny to her.
nobody realizes what she really wants.
something that comes so easy to a normal human being.

[catdoqq]

it feels like you're caught in the middle of a rushing current,
being pulled multiple ways. the current could easily pull you
under. you hear others breathing, telling you to "just get out."
they don't help you.

and sometimes, you'll find someone who helps. who extends a
hand for you to hold onto, stopping you from being pulled by the
rushing current. but, as time goes by, the grip loosens. they give up,
letting go. it sends you out into the current again, leaving you to be
dragged under by the water. the river whispers that it would be easier
to 'just give up'. to just let yourself be dragged under again.
but you keep trying.

[catdoqq]

it is a flower.
a flower that disappears for two quarters of the day.
a flower that blooms but also wilts at the same time
we depend on the flower.
but they are so quick to rip the petals of the flower off
I do not understand

they are keen of the idea of ripping the flower from its roots
because they think it is beautiful
I do not understand

they are enthused to tear the flower's spotlight away from it
because they are jealous
I do not understand.

but the flower hides from them when they are around
it is afraid
I do not understand

it is a long green stem with purple petals twisted into something much more
we must not forget it
I understand

[catdoqq]

flowers grew out of her eyes,
stems clinging

she was left astringing
when she'd try to sleep

digging themselves even further in deep

[catdoqq]

we fought our own battles
and it just so happened
that we had the same wounds

[catdoqq]

a couple days ago
i had a nightmare
one of those nightmares you never exactly wake up from
the kind of nightmare
that when you wake up
the nightmare simply continues
and then you realise
that you never went to sleep