there's script on my hands (& it kinda looks like poetry)

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i was your icarus

Postby ruse » Mon Jun 06, 2016 6:47 am

Image
Image
i'll be icarus, you can be the sun;
watch me as i fall in love with you and out of the sky,
with gaping wings that taste like charcoal and through clouds
that feel softer than your hands,
tears slip down my cheeks and
they fly farther than i do;
salt on my lips and it tastes like
the ocean and your open mouth,
the last kiss we shared before goodbye touched your lips
and you let go
my vision diluting and a laugh that echoes;
goodbye touches my lips too and i feel the world
grow shadows
in places where light should reside / i let go.

      you were my sun and i drowned for you.
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love letter to a dead guy

Postby ruse » Mon Jun 06, 2016 10:17 am

    it is raining here and i'm wondering how it looks from your end of the world. do you remember me? we don't talk anymore but i wish i did and i wish i were more articulate on a whim, to tell you that i had loved you so hard and i still want to, but it's hard to hold on when it's like this and you're not here and i can see the shadow and the shape of you sometimes on my bed next to where i lay and i wake up, and it's always so dreary. i wonder if people see in the same tinted lenses as i do, my eyes that look more gray than blue now but i see them laughing outside my window and it's bright and clear and loose and i'm closed off, and you used to pry me open. there's pain still where you left me and an open space in my heart that i've been holding for you, and i cry still, but there's no feeling and no point in it anymore. we were something good once, but you'd left me in favor of a higher place. i remember you, you lived recklessly, talked recklessly, drove recklessly- maybe that's why i'm in this position. i tried to follow, but you were flying too high; an icarus who actually succeeded. i hold onto the memory of you like a pillow, i check my arms for words unchecked, but it's always clear skin and i miss your chicken scratch on me - i should let go, the voices around me tell me so, my friends and family and yours as well, and i'm holding myself down with chains that i can slip through easily. i'm asking for a sign, i guess; tell me i can leave you, that'll be okay, that i will be okay.

    - ─ ───── WRITER'S NOTES ────────────── ─── ── ─ -
    i am screaMING (internally)
    i love icarus and i am super pumped for my one-on-one rps ??? like u can't believe and then i wrote this thing for this one (the more angsty, makes-me-prone-to-tears kind) in avyn's pov bc i wanted to do something more emotional and test out something (also loosely based on my own experience, but like it's v v lowkey and it's not this dramatic i promise) tho i'm not sure how well i did but i had this sitting in my drafts for a day (while ignoring the rest of the things i refuse yet to post on here) and i wrote something for the other rp but it's become too vague and i thought this one was more suitable and i keep listening to halsey and troye sivan (it's his birthday today did u guys know i want to write something but i'm strange and ye) and deeply analyzing their songs too oops
    and idk how many people read this or even check this thread but thanks for suffering with my run-ons (and overusage of parentheses and italics) as long as you have <':
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Re: there's script on my hands (& it kinda looks like poetry

Postby calliopë » Tue Jun 07, 2016 7:03 am

      ... i literally have tears in my eyes
      you are so skilled
      so skilled.
      i do not think i can conjure up enough words to tell you how thrilled and just.
      dizzy.
      i am.
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ideally

Postby ruse » Tue Jun 07, 2016 8:00 am

    IDEALLY
    late-night chatter, bare feet in the sand;
    i feel mosquitoes biting at my skin but my laugh is louder than the pain
    there's a girl beside me, long hair and lips
    that taste like the ocean and cherry lipgloss she puts on for boys
    our hands form a fish's net, like the kind fishermen use to lure food in;
    and i wonder if, she meant for this to happen;
    i mean, i didn't mean to fall in love with a girl who kisses boys behind football stands and breaks their hearts in her nicest heels,
    i never meant to fall in love prey
    she never lets anyone close enough to see, the fear she's hiding underneath
    her chlorine-blue and ocean-deep eyes
    i've only seen slivers of it on my own, when her guard's down
    and her lips rest on mine, eyes and heart closed;
    it's like the moon and the fear only shows in phases
    i never asked, i don't push; i'm afraid too, that she'll leave me if
    i knock on her door at midnight and ask her why


    - ─ ───── WRITER'S NOTES ────────────── ─── ── ─ -
    ok so i decided to release this to the public even tho i didn't want to yesterday ??? idk but to reiterate and enforce, i am strange   (this one is dedicated to abeille). but rn all i want to write about it a love triangle with a girl with a working (but broken) heart, a boy who's on his second heart, and the dead guy that made it all happen ?? pls stop me
    but oMY GOD
    thank you thank you thank you casi (is it ok if i call you that ??)
    i am v v happy i am skilled in your eyes, even tho i'm not rlly talented; i still struggle majorly
    and i am sorry (v v sorry) i made you cry, at least i hope it's in a good way? if that makes sense?? and pls be ok! dizzy and crying is not a good combo, heaven knows i know.
    and thank you to everyone (today is a premature thanksgiving ok, don't stop me on this one ty) for commenting and pming and reading and just being alive; i used to write only for myself but it's moved on that i want to write things that are up to your standards and i want to be the person you see, the one with skills and emotion-provoking run-ons ?? but thank <3
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Re: there's script on my hands (& it kinda looks like poetry

Postby raey » Thu Jun 09, 2016 6:45 am

      have been stalking cas again and so stumbled over this. cas really has a feeling for the good stuff lol

      wow.


      not quite sure if I will be able to produce any more proper critique or word my feelings for your writing better.
      I devoured your texts.
      This is....wow.
      cas is right, you have an incredible, incredible talent and it is such a pleasure to read it
      You have a way to tell things....yeah I give up, I can not really explain how I feel about this.
      But I love it.
      A lot.
      A very big lot actually. Definitely going to stalk you now.

      One thing I can say is that I really love those little thoughts you intertwine in some of your texts, that is really cool^^
      keep your good work up, I can't await to read more.

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round one, unfinished thoughts

Postby ruse » Fri Jun 10, 2016 9:23 am

    • the sun pushed me to fall and the ocean will be the one who catches me
    • blonde curtain of hair (that fades into grays as i fall deeper for her) that flies like a kite behind her - five steps in front of me, i only see her back (me, the boy she calls friend a, the third wheel)
    • she wears a heartbreaker's smile
    • "if i could turn back the clocks for you, i would,"
    • people are mirrors
    • she hid the stars in her hair and the sun in her eyes
    • your life is a candle (and it's going out)
    • heart like a home
    • the correlation between youth and love
    • lambent. empyrean; idyllic
    • the mundane/fragments
    • musician or magician?


    - ─ ───── WRITER'S NOTES ────────────── ─── ── ─ -
    a series of unfinished thoughts that probably will be neglected until i stop sneezing like death's trying to knock down my door (aka i have been sneezing nonstop for the past two hours and i have a headache developing and tears pricking my eyes but these thoughts just came to me and i want to write them down before they go)
    also thank you again for the messages and the feedback and making me smile (ily all so much [and i'm screaming inside again oops])
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candy floss violinist

Postby ruse » Fri Jun 10, 2016 8:12 pm

    QUESTION:
    how do i forget someone like you?

    you, the boy with the quiet hands and weaving words threaded like candy floss. you, who'd give a girl like me flowers at a drop of a hat; you, who loved long-distance once and only once. broken heart, it's still showing on your arm (where's the sleeve for cover?), a vulnerability you've forgotten to shed. a smile, a voice that stretches miles. a distance of three years and two countries apart. i wonder dimly if you could ever tell my hands were shivering from behind the computer screen and how every tap of a part of the alphabet echoed my heartbeat when i chatted with you. every exclamation mark a inch added to my smile. i always felt incompetent to write about you, but since you've left my heart a vacancy, it's become easier. since you spilled your soup hearing 'i like you' and 'no, in the romantic sense' (i remember you laughed, you said 'i like you too' before i added the notion of something more than friendship, tiptoeing over the borderline before you nudged me back). i remember feeling my hope leaking from a hole your shock punctured into me, but i kept trying - do you remember? will you, a year from now? will you remember your words that made me try and made me cry, the video you sent me once because i was sixteen for only just a few hours and you were there and you like the violin and the me back then didn't know i was already yours for the taking and you were so lovely, a gentleman and different from the rest of the boys i've ever known (mature, musical, terribly caring, a blank canvas reserved for blushed hues). i don't know when i fell, but when i did, i never regretted it and i plunged in deeper headfirst (i remember telling my good friend, 'i'm okay if he's happy,' i said with rose-tinted glasses, and his happiness was my everything). bumps and bruises and spaces between heartbeats. a date with another girl, me with unresolved feelings and a love i compressed into a bottle and a persistent 'no, i am not jealous; i just want him to be happy'. i replayed the same song over and over, i was ready for heartbreak but never quite for stopping an end to loving you (she crooned, 'i promised myself i wouldn't let you complete me' and 'i didn't mean to fall in love tonight' but i did both of those things, anyways). wrote essays about you and the things i loved most about you (you love memes as much as i do, you're so careful in everything until it has to do with the heart, you wrote beautiful things and i wanted to be the subject of your dreams, played violin until it gave up on you -broken strings that needed to be stronger for a boy like you- you care so much and drove an hour to rescue your cousin once).

    ANSWER:
    i don't. i will carry your memory around like loose and broken change in my pocket, take you to every place i go and every face i meet. i'll see pieces of you in her smile, and your laugh in his eyes and warmth in their hand when our hands touch. i won't regret it or anything either. i don't regret making you choke on your soup or falling for the boy who lived to play violin and kissed a girl who met you at your door one time (you said later, recalling the scene, that you were jumping on your bed and you should shave and get her flowers because she looked like you did in my vision, something out of a dream). you were never mine but i was yours once.
    thank you.


    - ─ ──── WRITER'S NOTES (OF APOLOGY) ──── ─── ── ─ -
    lame   writing at 3:12am that would probably pair well with halsey's is there somewhere; based on somethin that happened to me tho i only remember some of it i think ?? well i hope i did rip also sorry for writing and putting myself out there so much lately rip tbh //
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one sentence drabbles after an all-nighter

Postby ruse » Sat Jun 18, 2016 7:42 am

differences
there's beauty in fire, just as much as there is destruction -- she's seen it in him, the scar he adorns and the smile he plasters on his face (the love in his eyes, how it twinkles when molten gold meets diluted ink blue).

jewel
my mind - it's like a diamond; not in terms of beauty or expense or status but more like, there's an infinity of faces in the numbered facets.

swallow deep
there's always gonna be that one piece of love stuck between my teeth, but i've swallowed most of it down (like the mouthwash i should've been spitting out).

poet's girl
i talk like a poem; words that carve nicely into the space of quiet, pretty nothings (beautiful lies) to expend a bit of delicate time.

silence
sometimes, silence is good; there is more room to spare to find the passing glances between blue and gold, the fine-as-spider-webs touches - they flirt with smiles instead of voice, chat with posture compared to words, kiss with eyes instead of mouths and curved lips like a waning moon.

whisper
this girl, he swears one day to the moon, will either captivate or destroy him (he doesn't need the moon to answer back, his mind is already whispering it'll be both).

snake in the grass
where did time go?

jealous
he only knows her back, but he wishes that he knew her smile too, like watari did; (the right corner of her lip would do fine).

pardon
spare me the love; i'm only looking for the tragedy.

you
you are breaking him into pieces and slivers and mirror shards but he still smiles, because it's you and he does not care if he comes undone and his stitches unfasten over his scars (because it's you), and he loves you so deeply (how could he not, with his jaded vision and broken-glass-for-eyes?).

colors
he is the sun's slave and she, the moon's child; opposites, and maybe, that's why he feels a pull to her like a magnet (like an ocean saying it's time to go home), even if she spat in his good eye and responded to his confession dressed in love and affection (all warm tones, like the gold of his eyes and the laugh of the sun) with i hate you, dyed with colors of betrayal and broken trust.

dance
they used to dance on borrowed maps and tiptoe over disputed borders between fire and earth, but today is different from then; he's chasing her to the ends of the world but it's not as simple as walking from one end of the room to the other under the glow of firelight and candle wax and young young love, because the fire is snuffed out and she's a runaway stealing time, who dances better in the dark than he can with open flame and defined lines and crisp light.

moon alone
tell me, what is the moon without the sun; does she shine as brightly with just the stars to talk to, or does she die every night he's lost in day?

fate, a liberator
fate is kind, he tells aloud one night tinged with destiny's tones, but don't mistake it for weakness, he says in thought and dark, with a blue eyed moon girl sighing thoughtful breaths in his arms; (she's choked the hope out of me once before, i doubt she'll miss next time).
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Re: there's script on my hands (& it kinda looks like poetry

Postby raey » Sun Jun 19, 2016 2:49 am

      ah, I haven't checked back on this thread for too long O.o
      shame on me
      I really like your newest text - I guess everyone who ever has been in love
      and suffered from a broken heart can relate to these feelings c:
      wonderful as always
      I like the question - answer separation here
      and that last sentence got me again

      from these one sentence drabbles I like "dance" the most
      can't really say why but it has an atmosphere I like a lot c:
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Re: there's script on my hands (& it kinda looks like poetry

Postby ruse » Sun Jun 19, 2016 9:52 am

    !!!!
    !!!!
    even so thank you, i always love getting feedback from you haha no matter time <<:

    and dance was based on a fanfiction (a rlly good one, and i tried to combine the author's style with mine some) i read over the past few days, along with some others (i can't disconcert em from each other well anymore rip)
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