by yves » Thu Apr 21, 2016 7:32 am
I wasn't ready to say goodnight.
I lay in the empty, double bed which was once occupied by two. It seems so distant now, with you wrenched from my orbit so suddenly - my only support, my only reason to get up in the morning. I couldn't sleep; everything of the past few days whirled around in my my mind, all in a quick blur. I couldn't stop thinking about it, whatever I tried to do, it stuck in my mind - and I fret that it will for days on end. I wouldn't get used to this feeling, and I don't think I ever will.
"Why did you have to leave?" was the only thing I managed to breathe out in a whisper, salty tears dripping down my soft, porcelain cheeks as I sat in this musty bedroom on a set of pearly white bedclothes. The only light was from the moonlight peering between the dark, eerie clouds. I couldn't help but reminisce the times - the times I'd wake up with your hand inside mine. It'd give me warmth inside, yet now all I felt was coldness.
The bedclothes were loosened as I kicked my legs feebly out, tossing the sheets to one side. I regretted this immediately, with a strong gust of chilly, midnight wind blowing through the open window, carrying the black curtains out as if a ghost had been let in. The same feeling as you left me that day. What did I ever do to you? Why did you have to leave? All this questions, all these unanswered questions. Will they ever get an answer? I longed for answers. I longed for a company, a company to distract me of all the bad things. Yet, I haven't heard from you in days - you just left me, no note. Nothing.
I blinked my tears away, wiping my pale cheeks with the silky sleeve of my pyjamas, dragging myself out of the bed. As I couldn't sleep, barely even a wink, I might as well occupy myself with a mug of tea. Perhaps peppermint, apparently that has soothing qualities. Rubbing my sore eyes, I edged into the kitchen of my apartment; I couldn't help but gaze at the photos scattered around the mahogany bookshelves and glass tables. I suddenly felt your breath on my neck as you made to give me a warm, comforting hug, your fingers smoothing my long hair. It warmed my heart - I felt safe for once. You gave me something to talk about; something to think about that wasn't the whirlwind of anxiety in my twisted head. Then, I immediately felt your absence - you were torn away from me. I realised you were just a figment of my deluded imagination. The rain outside pounded against the windows, first like a natural lullaby, all soothing and content, until it grew heavier. The drizzle soon developed into a storm in a moment of seconds, thundering against my soul, a bolt of lightning slashing what felt like mere metres away.
My hands covering my eyes, an old habit that I still had, peering out between two fingers that I opened up. Directly in front of me, I saw my mobile flash on. My arms dropped instantly to my sides and I noticed that it was a call from you, reading the name which bore the screen. I didn't answer it, I just left it lying on the countertop as I listened intently to the female voice that issued from the device.
"I mean. In what world do I go to sleep after you and wake up before you?! I don’t even know how it happens. Well, I hope you’re having sweet dreams, and you call me when you wake up."
I just wanted to say goodnight.
Last bumped by yves on Thu Apr 21, 2016 7:32 am.
