Gone (please critique)

[Cadin Araceli]

You put in the effort when I’m gone

You love me most when I’m away

How can you really expect me to stay?


I never hear you say I love you as much

Then when you think you have lost me babe.

If you really want to keep me, don’t wait till it’s too late.


You could have done this months ago.

Nothing else has changed for you

You don’t want to work unless you absolutely have too.


Well you know it’s far too late

and I am really and not that strong,

I can’t keep waiting for you to take so long.


I don’t understand how it can go from can’t to will.

All with me saying goodby my dear.

I didn’t think words could change abilities,

what does that say about your reliability?


You put in effort when I’m gone,

you love me most when I’m away

How can you really expect me to stay?

[Cadin Araceli]

I'm thinking of like making it kinda of a song, but I wanna make sure it's ok now

[illumié]

Well you know it’s far too late

and I really and not that strong,

I can’t keep waiting for you to take too long.


This line is kind of choppy. everything else seems nice ^^

[Cadin Araceli]

Well you know it’s far too late

and I really and not that strong,

I can’t keep waiting for you to take too long.


This line is kind of choppy. everything else seems nice ^^

Thanks! I altered slightly...I like the sentiment. I still gotta find a better way to phrase it I guess.