Seeking proofreader.

[Razors]

I need someone to proofread a form I am working on. I know I have a few errors and I am not the best at grammar. I am just looking to patch up what I am working on and make it less sloppy. If you are able and willing to do this for me, please pm me. I am willing to pay.

[Razors]

Username: Razors
Name: Lottie
Gender: Female
Art: (Coming)




::The Story of Lottie.::


"Little Lottie! Little Lottie! Come and play!"
I will never forget that day. The voices, even now, ringing clear in my memory whenever I look upon the ocean. I could swear they call to me still...

I was young, having only just been granted the ability to stray from my mother for short periods of times. You see, it was only my mother and I. My mother said the sea had taken my father from her just before I was born. I always put my father's death as the reason my mother was so afraid of the ocean, though if she was so afraid, I never understood why we lived so close. My home was a forest that bordered a sandy beach. I remember collecting shells there when I was young, bringing them home to my mother as gifts. Every time I came home with something from the beach or the sea she would always tell me. " Little Lottie, please don't stray...There are things within those waves that would take you away...." Of couse, me being the little viscling that I was, I felt my mother was just being overcautious. I had only ever seen dolphins, fish, and birds playing about the ocean, there was nothing there that could do me harm...

(Art by me)


"Little Lottie! Little Lottie! Come and play!"
There they were, the sweet, melodious voices that called to me as I stooped to grasp a particularly pretty shell from the sand. As I looked to the waves that slide towards my feet, I almost swore I saw tiny hands curling about the waves. Frothy and white, like the sea foam scattered about me. It was a silly notion, to think that hands were in the water. As I went back to my shell, wiping the sand from its polished frame, the voices came again. " Oh! Little Lottie! Such a pretty one! Come to the water and join us in the fun!" I could no longer deny that I heard the voices, singsong in nature, with chimes and tunes that made my heart flutter. So enticing was the melody that I could not help myself. With my shell in hand, I turned towards the water and stepped forward, the soft tug of the water as it withdrew only seeming to drag me closer.

As the water splash about my legs, I couldn't help but look down, a soft tickling and scritching at my fur alerting me to something different. I gasped as a new wave lapped against my legs, the foam it brought with it....indeed formed hands, and the hands were attached to bodies. Swirling, liquified bodies, with humanlike faces, and seaweed hair that swirled about in the ebb and flow of tide. "LITTLE LOTTIE! COME AND PLAY!" A shout, this time. So loud in my ears that I dropped my shell and tucked my head down, trying to flatten my ears and cover them with my paws. Before I knew it, the tide withdrew, the hands tugging my feet out from under me and a dark shadow looming above. Several of the liquid creatures had risen on a wave, which loomed over my fallen body and soon, crashed down upon me.

I was covered in cold, my breath knocked from my lungs and my body tumbling head over paw. I felt my head knock against the sand, and for a moment I saw little more than black and white, the throbbing in my head enough to sober me up and bring me back to reality. I suppose my body had known not to draw in breath, for I was lucky enough not to do so. But I was still within the water, and the creatures had a firm hold on my legs. I was losing sight, no...not sight. I was merely losing the light of day. They were dragging me deep, so deep that I could feel the pressure of the water pressing against me, popping my ears and forcing what was left of my oxygen supply from my lungs. I struggled, clawing at the water and kicking my legs, my maw opening and releasing large bubbles as I struggled for breath. I was going to die...I should have listened to my mother...why did I not listen to my mother?

(Art by me)


"Oh dear! Oh dear! She shed a tear!"
The music rang once more in my ears, and I felt a chill against my face, my eyes focusing from what little of the sun's light I could still see, to a creature that held my face within its hands. I have never found humans to be lovely, in fact, I find their little hairless forms to be quite appalling, but this creature...Though it appeared human enough, it was so very beautiful. That liquid body was about the same structure of a humans. Two arms, two legs, a head, hair, eyes, nose, mouth....A mouth which was soon pressed to my muzzle. " We learned our lesson the first time 'round! We will keep this one safe and sound!" As the song echo about me, I found my lungs suddenly filled with air. The mouth of the one which held me had blown within my maw and, somehow, given me the ability to breath.

Sputtering and choking, I tried so very hard to understand what was happening, but as young as I was, I could think of nothing but going home to my momma. I was scared. I should not be underwater. I could not breath under water! But yet, there I was, breathing...as deep as any creature of the sea would go. " There we are, there we are..." I could feel them, cold hands seeking to brush little fingers through my fur, petting me everywhere. Like I was some fascinating creature which they had never been able to touch before. " Don't worry Lottie, it's not far!" The petting continued and my body began to be tugged once more, deeper within the water. When we finally reach the bottom, the light above was barely visible. Just a tiny hint of the day lay above me, and below, empty sand.

I will never forget...the creatures that swirled about me, then. The colors that flashed about the darkness, so beautiful in their display. My fear was slowly slipping away, and I found myself curious about these creatures, curious about why they brought me here, about what they were, of how they made me breathe underwater. I wanted to know it all. But I found that though I could breathe under water, I could not speak. Any time I tried, my words became a garbled mess, sounding more like squeaks and whistles in the water. It seemed to amuse the creatures, though, for each time I tried, their precious laughter echoed around me, causing my heart to flutter with glee.

I did not understand why I was so enamoured with these creatures, but the more I heard their sing-song words, and the more I gazed upon them, the more I wanted to stay with them, to spend time with them. Wanted them to pet me and hold me, and cuddle me. I was not a pet....but to these water creatures...I could be. " Oh, ho! So cute, so cute! We've made her mute!" They finally spoke of my inability to communicate, but it seemed to be fine with them. And so it was fine with me. It did not take long for them to become accustomed to me, and everyone seemed to have gained their fill of petting and touching me. The time spent within the water became a blur. All I knew was these creatures, they fed me fish, played with me, pet me. They loved me....But I still missed my momma...

As it were, my mother was heavy on my mind, it had only ever been the two of us, and my mother had always said I was her everything. I never doubted that my mother loved me, I never will. Had it not been for her, I would have surely stayed within the realm of these beautiful creatures. They treated me well, they fed me, brushed me, gave me affection and played with me, what more could I want? Ah, but I was a child, and eventually I became homesick. The creatures took note, cooing their songs into my ears and whispering of how much they loved me. There were many of them, and only one mother. Surely their love outweighed my mother's? No, it did not. There was, as said, only one of my mother, she was never to be replaced...and I could not stop the longing I held in my heart.

I wanted to go home, I missed my mother, I missed the sunshine, the breeze, the warmth of the day. This ocean was cold, these creatures were colder. I could not bear it, and apparently, neither could they. " Oh...Lottie, our sweet...so glad we were able to meet..." They spoke, petting through my fur and placing loving kisses all over me. "If you must leave, then we will set you free....But please, remember us well when you look to the sea!" I imagined them crying, as they said their words, for I could hear the sobs within their song. My body was gently brought to the surface, the petting and kissing continued until the moment I finally stepped out of the water. The hands within the waves seemed to reach for me each time they lapped against the shore.

A long moment passed, where I could do little but stare at the water, tears streaming from my eyes and mingling with the salty water of the ocean that soaked my fur. As much as I had longed for home, I would still miss the beauties of the ocean. The creatures within. Finally, turning away from the ocean, I faced the forest and headed within, seeking out the mother whom I had been so homesick for. Whom I had left the water people for.

"Mamma?" I had cried, heading towards the nest where we stayed. " Mamma!" I began to worry, wondering if my mother had left after she could not find me. How long had it been, since I had been within the waters of the ocean? How long had I been gone from my mother? I did not know, and I began to feel scared once more, tears yet again rising to my eyes and streaking along my face. " Mommy...." I cried, stumbling into the area where my nest had been and collapsing to the earth in sorrow. My mother was gone, I would never see her again....and I didn't know if I could go back to the sea people.

" Lottie?" A familiar voice rang behind me, the sound and smell of my mother erupting around me. Engulfing me in an embrace that I longed for so deeply, that I could not help but cry. " Momma!" I yelped, picking myself up and running into her, pressing my cold face into her chest and attempting to huddle as tightly to her as possible. " Lottie! Oh my Lottie! I thought the sea took you from me! Oh I thought I'd lost you forever! My sweet Lottie!" In a heap of sobbing mess, we held each other, kissed, hugged, cuddled...I had missed my mother so very much. I had not realized the extent of it, until I had finally seen her. I cried myself to sleep in my mother's embrace, her warm body curled about mine, keeping me safe and warm.

It was not until later, when I woke, that my mother questioned me. Apparently I had changed. My pelt had once been a simple, ordinary black. I looked like my mother-- or used to, anyway. But now, it had changed. My mother said I looked extraordinary, and that no other viscet on earth looked as gorgeous as I did. I felt proud, but also thankful, and I still do. For I know this was a gift from the ocean people. A final farewell from them to me. As I told my story to my mother, she seemed stunned, worried, but also amazed. She went to the ocean to thank the creatures inside for allowing me to return to her. But I think she was still afraid they would want to take me back, one day.

It wasn't long before she decided to 'migrate' as she called it. Our nest was left behind, as was the ocean. It was a sad day for me, as I had enjoyed going to the ocean and trying to talk to the creatures, though they no longer spoke back to me. We left the ocean behind, moving to a place far from it, and far from any other major body of water. My mother had always been protective, but I suppose she had her reasons for it. I am sure I will warn my own children of the dangers, when, or if, I have any. But that day is still long away.

Now that my mother is gone, and I am older, I find myself once more drawn to the ocean, back to the old nest we had lived, where I had been born. It was still unoccupied, maybe everyone else was afraid of the water, too. Not me...I was not afraid. No...for every time I look upon those beautiful blue waves, all I hear...is their voice in my ears....
"Little Lottie! Little Lottie! Come and play!"

(Art by mothermother)





::Lottie Today::

Lottie has a love of the ocean that runs deep, though maybe it is more a love of what lies within than the ocean itself. Lottie's mother passed some time ago, and she left the mountains to return to their old nest in the forest where she was born. Lottie passes the time by roaming the beach and collecting shells, speaking to the waves as if she spoke with an old friend. She has never heard the melody of the sea people again, and sometimes she wonders if it was merely a dream. It is moments like these that she chooses to look herself over, taking in the beautiful colors of the coat she had been given, and remembering that it was not a dream, but a reality. She had met the creatures, which she now knows were sea nymphs, and they had treated her kindly. It was only recently that she put the words of the nymphs together, the mistake they had made mention of, when she was younger, most likely being her father. It had only been through the death of her father that the nymphs had understood that Lottie would need oxygen to survive under the water. She does not blame the nymphs for her father's death, as she feels it was an accident. They never harmed her, and surely he was simply an accident of ignorance. Lottie rarely ever leaves the ocean's side, finding herself far too in love with it to move anywhere else. A few viscets have come to claim a spot in the forest where she lives, but they have left her alone thus far. She has never done them harm, and they simply leave her alone as well.
((this Art by So.Much.Space ))




::Personality::
Lottie loves the ocean, but there is more to her than simply this. Though her mother is gone, she still holds her teachings and her words dear to her heart. She longs to be the same calm, gentle, and loving spirit as her mother. Patience is something she has a great deal of, though, much like the ocean, she can be dreadfully unpredictable. Thus far, in her life, she has never had a moment where she has been truly, deeply, angry. She has been mad, but never to a point where she completely loses herself in her anger. She is fairly understanding, choosing to speak little and to think things over before she does so. Lottie has a very reserved personality, not awkward, but simply quiet. An introvert by nature, she finds the sweetest solace in being alone, but this is not always true. She can find as much peace in simply being with someone she loves as being alone. No words are necessary, for Lottie, and the peace of their presence is often enough to keep her happy. Her mother always claimed she had an old soul, as she always preferred collecting shells and walking the beach to playing games. She has never experienced any real pain, or longing, or hunger, and she claims this is due to her mother's dedication to her, inspiring Lottie to be a dependable, reliable creature. Should she say she will do something, she will do it. If she were to die, she would like people to speak nothing ill of her. She longs to be the one they remember as selfless and kind.
(Lottie by the sea, by Razors (me))