JuniperBerriess wrote:Could someone read this and give me their opinion??


FiveSecondsToFly wrote:Hehehe, read the rest of Blobby's story. I dieeed! *Giggles* I don't know why that's so hilarious, but it is. Anyway. Spannah you make the best servant for Tsar.
Steve, this thread usually moves at super speed or not at all. Usually not at all when your looking and all the time when you go to the dentists.
[b]Do you find you have motivation to write after reading? Are there any books in particular that help you?[/b]










CaesarHorse wrote:Thanks for the warm welcome <3
What is the last character that was killed off and how did they die?
My dad. I was writing something from first person and I was REALLY ticked at my dad so I made the character's dad just like mine and then I had a murderer kill him with a chainsaw. It was really satisfying actually xD
L.V.L wrote:*goes and plops down into a chair*
Hello Everyone!!
I've come to say…… I'm really bored. And also I won't be active Saturday/Sunday since its my birthday tomorrow!![]()
But since I've still got tons of hours of daylight, I don't know what to do. Someone give me something!!
JuniperBerriess wrote:Does anyone else feel the need to write differently for each and every character POV?
*Bad Wolf* wrote:What's the sassiest thing one of your characters have said?
Uh... not sure. I don't really have sassy characters. (Ranger, Wolf, I send you lots of my writing. Do I have sassy characters?)
JuniperBerriess wrote:I've been inspired by a tv show I'm watching, so here's a little writing piece:Laura's POV
I leaned forward the tiniest bit, and suddenly, my feet weren't on the ground anymore. I fell into the wide well with a squeak. On the way down, I didn't scream. I didn't struggle. I hugged my arms to my chest and I wondered, was this the end?Obviously, I wouldn't be able to climb out. And stupidly, I went out in the middle of nowhere by myself. Would anyone ever find out what happened? Would anyone realize I was gone? "Of course not." I whispered as I cut through the air. "You're invisible."
I hit the water with a splash and swam upwards until I finally broke the surface, my teeth chattering. It was freezing. I gently kicked my feet, not wanting to wear myself out. Of course, there just had to be water. Of course, not only did I have to fall down a damn well, I had to face my worst fear. Drowning. "Help!" I cried, listening to my voice echo up the well. I groaned and shivered. This would be a long wait.
Sam's POV, four hours later.
"You're kidding. You're joking. This is not happening." I said in disbelief. Laura's father nodded, a tear running down his cheek. When j saw the tear, I know it had to be true. Laura's father was the toughest man I had ever seen. He wouldn't cry no matter what, and here he was, letting out a sob. He rushed forward and hugged into me. "They found her in a well, Sam. They think she's either unconscious or dead." He sobbed. Now I knew this had to be true. He hated me. He hated that Laura was dating me. Suddenly a police car pulled up, and an officer raced out. "They got her out." He panted. But I knew something was off. My chest felt empty. I felt like I had just been ripped to shreds. "She's.. She's gone."
And I blacked out.
Moves kinda fast but eh *shrug*
CaesarHorse wrote:xD Good luck Nom. xD You crack me up, I just laugh every time you post xD I'm going to share with y'all a little tidbit of something I'm working on <3 Sorry this post is so long, but I'm proud of all of it! See if you can guess my age by reading this xD
Chapter 1
The television blares in the den as I chop peppers in the kitchen. I dump the colorful vegetables into a frying pan and switch on the burner. The weatherman's voice is filled with boredom as he repeats what he's been saying all day. Partly cloudy with a seventy percent chance of rain. I glance out the window at the overcast sky, dark clouds rolling across the sky. I look out across the New York landscape, the twin towers on the horizon. I live in Manhattan with three dogs and two horses. I have a cat named Felix and I own a veterinary clinic.
-snip-
dove. wrote:is it weird i'm basing my story/book off of two sentences I was thinking of?
dove. wrote:ok, so I have a problem. I'm planning out my story, but I have a serious lack of skills in character devolvement and characters traits in general. Any tips/advice?
Megaguirus wrote:YES! I did it! I completed Reality Not Fantasy! Ya'll should be seeing it on my Wattpad sometime tomorrow. I'm SO happy right now. All I have to do is touch it up, since I had to rush the last part because it's getting so late.
Speaking of which, I must bid you all a goodnight. I'll have to finish the story tomorrow, Nom, but I trust it'll be good.
Night!
Krenko wrote:Imma call you Steve
*snickers*
L.V.L wrote:dove. wrote:Wait, so Viviana did die?
Yes, you messed up people choose to Luna finding out Viviana died. But I'm thinking since it was only 1 vote less, that I'll redo it for Luna stopping Viviana... I don't know yet.
Møriarty x. wrote:Mexi, I like that ending much better.
I accidentally just typed corpses instead of corporation in my story. It's scary to see that it would actually fit pretty well.
Chapter one is finished! It's 609 words long. With the prologue, I have 796 words all together.Chapter 1: The Call
Holly Mackenzie had just gotten home from her shop when Ms April came in with the mail. She hadn't gone to get it, since she was exhausted. It was a Tuesday, so all the street racers had flooded in right before she closed.
"Here you go dear. I'll bring you some dinner, how does that sound?" Ms April set the mail down and left.
Mack didn't respond to questions like that, as she knew they were always rhetorical.
She picked up the mail and looked through it.
Bill, bill, bill, junk, scam, and a letter.
She frowned at the last one. No one ever sent her letters. Possibly a bomb, she thought. But as she looked over it carefully, she realized that it was exactly that; just a letter. She opened it and looked at the neat handwriting. She grinned as she read it.
"Ms April! I won't be needing dinner. I'm going on a business trip!"
Desmond Kingsley was just getting to his office when he got the call. The other doctor he worked with (who was his roommate and also oblivious to his love for her) relayed a message she'd just gotten for him.
"I can't afford a trip." He said, but she kept talking.
"Apparently they'll pay for it, and I checked them out; it's not a scam."
He considered it for a moment and then said,
"Well can you cover for me for a few days?"
Spencer Cassidy, a twenty-five year old Irish guy, walked into his apartment in Manhattan. He was very obviously hyper.
"Honey I'm home!" He called out in a singsong voice as he shut the door behind him. His roommate and best friend, Tobias Forde, came out looking disgruntled.
"I hate you," He muttered, "always so hyper." Spencer smirked.
"Up all night writing again? I told you not to."
Toby pushed past him into the small kitchen, where the coffee pot was. It was empty.
"You drank all that coffee, didn't you?" Toby asked Spencer, who just shrugged.
"You can make more. You're a big boy Tobes. I'ma go get the mail!"
Toby watched Spencer dart back out the door and turned to make more coffee.
A few minutes later, Spencer came back with the mail. It was mostly ads, but then there was a letter, addressed to both of them. Toby frowned when he saw both their names.
"I thought they only did that for married people."
Spencer shrugged and ripped the envelope open. He looked at the letter and gave it to Toby. He read through it quickly.
"What does it say?" Spencer asked. He was dyslexic, so Toby summarized for him. By the end of it, they were both smiling.
"We should start packing then." Spencer said happily.
Amanda Delta Rose. That was her full name, though not many knew it. She always introduced herself as Delta. Which is why she was shocked to answer the phone and hear her full name.
She was on her way home when the call had come. She didn't get many new phone calls, because she was nothing more than a twenty-four year old history teacher. She knew most of the people and numbers that called her, but this one was new. The person had addressed her as Amanda Delta Rose, and then explained the situation to her. She rushed home to pack.
A week later, on July eighteenth 2016, these five people boarded a plane to go somewhere in Europe. They were flying first-class thanks to the mysterious people at the ANGEL STARS Corporation. Oddly enough, they were the only people on board, other than the pilots and the flight attendants.
Møriarty x. wrote:I've noticed.
It also likes to move super fast while I'm busy (and usually writing) and then not at all when I'm dying of boredom.
Speaking of writing, I finished my first chapter!
An antagonist wrote:"We don't fear holding the gun or standing at its muzzle, because we've lived at both ends."
A naive supporting character wrote:"Why do people sell everything they have? Souls, bodies, futures, and creations are worth more than silver coins."
An angry supporting character wrote:"Maybe I've lost my mind. Maybe it died with him, but that's your fault. Everything is your fault and I don't care that you don't understand, because you don't have to!"
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