**Letters you'll never read** not for public use

[Ardyn Izunia]

Hah, well I've gotten interested in writing some letters to people but won't ever be read by them. It's good i supposed since some really will never be read for sure and others still have potential to be when I feel comfortable enough but until then I can express them freely here.

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8/2013
Dear best band to ever have lived,

I wish you were all together, I wish John hadn't changed, I wish things would have been the same as before all the stress and I wish 2 of you hadn't passed away...
Maybe i'm selfish because I wanted to see you all in person. But I also wanted to see you all happy the way it was before the break up.
You guys are my heroes and I am thankful for the legacy you left behind for letting me get to know you. I am thankful for those who continue your legacy as tribute bands....

Sincerely a big fan.
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8/2013
Dear Mr. Adorable beyond reason,

I am so freakin mad at myself. I hate that i can't seem to stop thinking about you. I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU for crying out loud!!!
We met and exchanged words only once but I can stop thinking of you and it's driving me up a wall. This is unreasonable, please go away....

Sincerely The girl who cheered you on in the front row while everyone else was embarrassed to so didn't. XD <3
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11/2013
Dear Rio,
It's been almost 3years. Feels longer of course. Since I never was able to get your number again you pretty much started fading from my mind. I never understood why you chose to ignore me.. You didn't respond to any FB message i sent. I sent multiple. I believe I even added you bc That's what friends do to keep in contact right?

I guess once I considered someone a friend i become too attatched. I am fiercely loyal. It should be a given since i don't just make anyone my friend. We were even really close... We texted random things to eachother. Sarcastic banter was awesome lol You're the only one I've met who totally gets my humor and returns it every time.

I miss(ed) all of that. And when i left for school,it was on a great note...or so i believed. But when it became clear that you wouldn't be contacting me again, that hurt but slowly you started to fade
fade.
I dreamed about you last night, i wasn't even thinking about you. But I cried. I wish you wouldn't have pretended to be my friend. I still miss you...

Sincerely 'the little one'/'meow meow'
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2014
Dear Beautiful Girl,

You're amazing, smart, awesome, chill, funny,dorky,patient, lovely.
I can't stand how cute you are. When you smile or laugh I want to kiss you. I want you to be happy always. You probably don't notice because I try hard to not stare. Not to let other people know my look lingers at you. I don't know the name of what I feel around you. Probably just infatuation. But either way you make my heart sing and soar. I look at you and could only describe you as beautiful and graceful. You really do brighten up my day.
Even though you can't be mine, I relish the talks we have; I love when you think of me outside of our normal sphere. And I'm happy you're happy.
~Sincerely,
The dorky kid you laugh with cx
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1/1/2015-12/30/2015
Dear Doctors,

Stop.

Sincerely,
The rest of the staff.
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2015
Dear Beautiful Girl,

You kinda hurt my heart a little.
I still feel exactly the same as my other letter. That doesn't change overnight.
Your opinion on what I feel on other matters however, seems to be indifferent. This is disappointing. And I question weather or not you feel any attachment/fellow feeling for the rest of us.for me. I speak of a relationship other than romance. As a friend, or even respected fellow worker, do you feel any obligation to make our lives easier? What of our quality of life? Do you not see the abuse? Or do you turn a blind eye?

Sincerely,
Slightly hurt but still head-over-heels
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[Ardyn Izunia]

Reserved

[Ardyn Izunia]

Dear "you give me butterflies",
I'm in the middle of writing quite an extensive letter to you but this will have to do for now.
You are driving me crazy. I can't think of anything else but you. To be direct I really just want to hear you talk to me and when you laugh that one laugh you use to tease me I really want to kiss you. Like, how can you be so perfect with your imperfections? You are beautiful. I wish you felt the same but I'm too nervous to ask now. It doesn't feel like you do and I just keep torturing myself with daydreams...

- Your Pokemon go Rival

[Ardyn Izunia]

Dear "You give me butterflies",

I can't believe I haven't written about you yet. ^_^
It's been almost 7months since I met you and it was a bit rocky the first few days. But somehow, we managed to become a bit close. We talked over some common interests,our work. Our aspirations for the future.

I can honestly say our friendship snuck up on me. If we met in highschool, we probably wouldn't have become friends. My personality type isn't too fond of yours and neither yours mine. But here we are thrown back in time playing Pokemon together. Going to the park to find different types, driving around to make sure we hit all the stops and spots around us. Becoming each other's rivals. Intent on surpasing each other in strength and catching them all. And as much as our friendship has snuck up on me, my feelings for you are so very unexpected.

You make me smile and I love to hear your voice. I love hearing you talk about anything and everything. And when you get embarrassed I love how dorky you are. I love your laugh. Oh my god I love your laugh. The loud one, the one you stifle when we're being a bit too loud. The one you use to tease me with?You have to know it drives me crazy in the best way possible. It sets my soul on fire. It makes me want to be by you, hold you, and kiss you.
That's when I realized I cared for you much deeper than just as a friend.

I don't know if you are aware of this yet. You might be, and you might reciprocate some feelings. But I'm more convinced you don't know. Not due to denial. But because there are some things that cannot be helped when you feel the same.

In any case, you're leaving me soon. And I'm going to miss being next to you. The stupid platonic stuff we do like going to get lunch, walking in the park to catch Pokemon. Because it's just us walking so close together, sitting so near our arms touch.

It might just be platonic to you but it is so very special to me.
I wish you the best in life. I hope to see you again once we've both grown as people. Catch up. Relive our time together and create more memories. Even if it's just as friends.

Love,
Your crazy Pokemon Go Rival.

[Ardyn Izunia]

To my favorite 4 boys

Well seems like another sleepless night. It's almost 5am here and I can't seem to stop watching those old videos of you guys performing live. You boys were and still are a bunch of adorable dorks.

While I do research on all of your personalities for our project, it's so cool to see the the humanized versions of you all. Fame seems to build a wall between celebrities and fans and for good reason since safety is always a concern but it's always at the cost of not getting to know us (and vice versa) which many would love to do.Fame seems to also take you from being individual people to " members of _____ Famous Band".

Since you 4 are indesputably out of reach for multiple reasons, my next best chance to get to know you has been to see your personalities during interviews,press conferences and on stage.

I really admire how during press conferences and interviews you guys don't care about trivial things such as how people perceive you if you do anything other than the societal norms. You aren't afraid to show people who you are and how you feel about things.

John won't tiptoe or walk on eggshells for anything which is great. His straightforward and quick witted mind is something I'll always love about him. My favorite antics are when he disses irritating/ignorant interviewers or shouts at the audience to shut up when they get too rowdy.

George is an awkward ball of sunshine that eats everything and stays skinny anyway. He's extremely intelligent musically and otherwise and has a creative forward thinking mind. My favorite quirk is when he full on dances on stage while he's playing because he seems like he just cannot sit still for one second.

Paul seems to be the kind and proper boy but I wouldn't be surprised if he had the meanest attitude of the 4 if it came down to really being pushed past his limit. He's gifted and hard working and strives to better himself and the group. My favorite antic is when he shuts down annoying interviewers.

Ringo, the sweetest but won't take any flak. He's extremely thoughtful of his fans and generous. He loves to make people happy but all within reason. If you even try to get one past him he'll stop that garbage where it's at before you can say "Beatles".

As individuals I really admire and aim to take all your best qualities to better myself. You were each strong, intelligent, confident, humble(in different ways), thoughtful, caring, and geniuses in your own rights. As a group you were magic personified. You created beauty in so much. Geniuses to the 4th degree. Feeding off one another to propel each other forward. To better yourselves. You were brothers. Family. Despite everything you were family.

As much as a person who can't know you on a deeper level is able, I love you all.

-Sincerely,
Me