The Story Of Drus; Story made and writen by A N C H O R

['pyrrhic]

Chapter 3
Gift or Curse?

I ran out the cave with Javelin following "Why are we running?" Javelin asked, I turned "I'll tell you and Harmon at the same time." I said and started back out, following a strong scent, that now I knew was not a fake. There was a huge rock blocking a cave entrance, I scratched it quickly with my claws and whimpered. I saw a wolf eyes, soft and welcoming peep through "Hello," Said the female from before, "I was expecting you." She said to me, I was out of breath "What troubles you?" She asked, I said the same thing I said to Javelin, adding a name in. I soon looked at the female "Is Harmon here?" I asked quickly, the female nodded "Of course, come in." She stated and led me and Javelin in. I looked for Harmon across the den with two different tunnels on the two sides of the den. "Go in the left one, go right then take a straight line." She said, I darted, while Javelin stayed behind with the female.

['pyrrhic]

As I was deep in the den's rooms, I stopped. Then I thought what they would think of me when I told them.. My eyes sunk to the dirt and then I backed away, seeing Harmon come up to me "Hey, what are you doing here?" I saw him say. I smile like nothing's wrong "Just came to say hi, I mean, I saw you leave without a goodbye, you know?" I said quickly as Harmon tilted his head "Uh ok," I heard him say, and he swept past me. I followed him back to Javelin and heard him say something to the female "Bree, I'll take watch." He said as the female nodded, I looked at Javelin in the eye as he shot a warm smile at me. I signaled out to him, and I swept past Harmon quickly without eye contact. Javelin, I knew did something to annoy Harmon.

['pyrrhic]

Javelin came up to me, and I felt tears rolling down my eyes. Of course he didn't know my secret, no one did. I looked at Javelin with upset eyes. "What's wrong, did he hurt you?" He asked quickly, I shook my head and rolled into a ball, soon I heard a noise in the bushes, and I smelt a male. My eyes drifted "One moment.." I said getting to my paws, I walked to the bush and next thing I know, I was next to a male, he was as big as the others but his eyes seemed different, they were light blue with red pupils. I reeled back "Who are you." I breathed, he came closer and I closed my eyes, I was then in a small wood human house "I'm Woods." He quickly said and my eyes shifted over him "I have to get back to-" "Javelin? Harmon? Bree? Erik?" He named all of them "Or me, the ghost." I then remembered, the ghost who showed me who I was. "Your a demon," He said "A what?" I yelped "You heard me." He said "Purebred." He said "That's what they want.. To hurt you.. Get rid of your power.. That means all your memory of your father, who was a demon." He said "It makes your life, if they delete that, they delete Javelin, Harmon and your family." He said, I stood in shock.

['pyrrhic]

I whimpered and looked at my paws, he came close to me and sat down, rubbing against my fur with his "It's ok.. I'll help you, I'll protect you." He said, lovingly. His eyes showed kindness and I started to cry. I knew my life was ruined, my eyes hurt now. I saw him look at his paws and pull away, but I didn't care. He sat away from me and then I didn't know why I was crying, I looked around. My eyes were now sensitive to light, but it was bearable. I saw through my eyes normally until the wolf called woods looked at me in shock, but he looked upset "Your eyes.. They're like mine.." He said, I saw nothing but everything normal. I looked around and then I saw the difference, there were millions of red dots, like fireflies around me and him. I looked with dismay "This is a dream! Wake up." I started to cry again, my eyes turning normal, without me realizing it. I hear footsteps, one, two.. And then they stop, I look up and Woods is gone..

['pyrrhic]

Comments are open!
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[shade.]

Interesting. I find a lot of this confusing though.... I think the introduction to her being a Demon should be a little bit longer with more description. Questions are good, but confusion is not. Maybe describe your characters more when introducing them?
Your chapters could be longer, but I think they are a good length, considering I've seen you mention you are younger and don't write as much as some. I understand that, as a lot of times my chapters are about the same length or shorter.
It's a interesting story, and I wouldn't be more wordy, but work on keeping it interesting-maybe add a little more about the setting/surroundings? I'm not really sure where she is half the time. And to add to that, add that it takes a while to get from place to place, cause it seems like she just teleports.
Otherwise, on a better note, the story has a lot of action in it. I like that. It keeps you interested.
Sorry for all the criticism. I seem to be better at that than praising.

['pyrrhic]

{Thank you for the critique on my story, I appreciate
it and I will take it into consideration to do those things.