{ ＩＮＫＬＩＮＧＳ } LOCK! NEW THREAD

[girl with wifi]

What is your least favourite character to write? I tend to find the love interest.
What do you think of the word 'said'? it tends to get annoying when used over and over again.
What's your favourite flaw to give one of your characters? shyness, not very confident.

Quick! You have ten minutes to write a (small) scene about a character called Raymond!
the nails of my fingers dig into my palms as I clench them into fists. I am leaded to a small room with equipment in it.
the room smells of copper and metal. a long dim grey chair stands in the middle. to me it feels like a dentist office.
The male who lead me in walks over to the computer and tells me to sit in the chair. I do so and fix my long hair while
waiting for more instructions. He hands me a clear glass with green liquid inside and tell me to drink. I do and once I finish the
liquid I feel dizzy. "You must control your breathing and heartbeat. The simulation will end once you've witnessed all of your fears.
Be brave." and
with that the male's face is gone and I'm on a high pier looking over the city of Chicago.

[vanilla kitten]

hey all. i'm looking for some critique.

i'm looking for someone who would be willing to critique the first chapter of something i'm
working on. i just feel that i need some feedback; not just on grammar or anything along
those lines (although, obviously, that's appreciated c:), but on my storytelling/storyline. i
kind of just really want a second opinion.

if anyone is down to help me out, or is willing to read it chapter by chapter as i write the
story, don't be shy, PM me c: thank you.

[Megaguirus]

What is your least favourite character to write?
I don't have one? LOL, I write all kinds, so I really can't answer.
What do you think of the word 'said'?
Okay, it just needs to be used sparingly. I tend to juggle it between a few other variations, like replied or stated, for example.
What's your favourite flaw to give one of your characters?
Oh, hard one. But I think I'd have to go with someone who has an evil within them. Could either be a literal evil (like an actual demon) or just a darker side.

Quick! You have ten minutes to write a (small) scene about a character called Raymond!

He gasped for another breath before diving underwater for the third time. He needed to save her. Raymond kicked his legs fast, as fast as he could. Soon, she came into view and he swam even faster, reaching for her falling hand. He was able to touch her fingers until he ran out of breath. His instinct overpowered him and he swam back up, hauling himself onto the boat once he reached the surface. He lost her, he couldn't believe it. He promised her that he'd never loose her and he broke it. He sobbed, falling back on the boat.

Raymond knew he'd never see her again, and now thought about what he should do. Continue living? Or join her beneath the waves. After a moments thought, he was so distressed, that he chose the latter. With another sob, he dove into the water, swimming down and never stopping. He saw her body again and swam towards it. His breath was running low, but he forced himself to continue to swim. Soon, he reached her and embraced her cold body. He then took a breath, a breath that gave no oxygen. He began to slowly drown, along with his love. The wonderful memories he shared with her began to move through his mind as his life slowly left his body.

He wouldn't even have a proper grave. He knew the both of them would be "lost at sea" and forgotten. I'm sorry. He thought sadly as more water began to fill his lungs. He wished it could be peaceful but his body began to twitch and struggle from the lack of oxygen. There was nothing he could do about it. He shut his eyes and hugged his girlfriend's body tighter. He gave her one last kiss on the lips before falling unconscious and dying. Never to be seen from again.
__________________________________________________________________
Hmm, that took a turn for the dark. Nice challenge though, I was actually surprised to see how fast I had typed it. I actually timed myself, LOL.

[toadstool]

What is your least favourite character to write?
My least favorite character to write about is a chirpy and cheery. Like a character who is fearless. I feel like they are Gary/Mary sues. .__.
What do you think of the word 'said'?
'said' is dull and overused. it's not very descriptive, and you can't tell what the character is feeling with its talking.
What's your favourite flaw to give one of your characters?
I have to say either self conscious and hesitant or short temper and insecure

Quick! You have ten minutes to write a (small) scene about a character called Raymond!

(started at 8:10)

There was no moon.

Short quick breathes came in forcefully. Low-hanging branches whipped the dark haired boy harshly, but he ran with no hesitance or halt. Heavy footsteps echoed in the dense forest. Growls filled the air threateningly, closing in on the skinny boy with wide blue pools of fear. Small beads of sweat specked his long hair despite the cool air blasting his face. A silent scream choked his throat as a stubborn bramble snatched his foot menacingly. His body fell with a thump, and terror flooded his chest. Dark yellow eyes gleamed in the undergrowth, and sharp teeth glinted in from the little light of the stars, spread as if it was a smile.

Raymond jerked awake. His throat was tight, and his hands trapped a fist of his sheets. The dark haired boy was gleaming with sweat, his mouth gaped. He rolled onto his side, ripping away his fingers, and thumping onto the cold hardwood. Raymond was having this dream continuisly every night since he had moved here two weeks ago. It fine at first, but it had gotten worse. The dark demon haunting his dreams uncomfortably. He turned to the alarmclock on his nightstand. 3:30 am.

(ended at 8:20)

*oh god that was horrible xc*

[iWonder]

hey all. i'm looking for some critique.

i'm looking for someone who would be willing to critique the first chapter of something i'm
working on. i just feel that i need some feedback; not just on grammar or anything along
those lines (although, obviously, that's appreciated c:), but on my storytelling/storyline. i
kind of just really want a second opinion.

if anyone is down to help me out, or is willing to read it chapter by chapter as i write the
story, don't be shy, PM me c: thank you.

I would love To help you out. Editing I one of my favorite parts of writing... besides making things explode and describing it in extensive detail. PM me with your draft, I have the resources to help out.

[qwill.]

Previous Username:
{msgranger
New Username:
qwill.
What you'd like to be called now:
quill, or qwill is fine c;
lena also is okay

['pyrrhic]

i'm a new member!
➹ anchor / blu, Ume/ ➹ / I really need critique!

[iWonder]

I'd like to join Inklings!
i'm a new member!
➹ safe at shore./shore/ ➹/ sure ?

Welcome to our little cubby of nerdy dancers and fantastic talent!

[center]i'm a new member!
➹ anchor / blu, Ume/ ➹ / I really need critique!

['pyrrhic]

yay! thanks for the warm welcome... I was apart of this once,
but mostly everyone ignored me... so I thought I'd try again!

[iWonder]

second time's the charm.