That one is hard, because both are fun. Considering I'm pretty smart myself, I tend to write smart people. But ditzy people are funny too XD
Can I use a critique on my story for the contest??
I sat up wide away, and looked around. I saw an oxygen monitor, many tubes, get well soon balloons, and plain walls-I was in a hospital room. Then I saw my family, "Why are we here?" when I asked they just kept staring at the bed with tears in their eyes, as if they couldn't hear me. "Mom! Dad! What's wrong with you? Why are we here?" it was like they were ignoring me, so I got up out of the tilted bed to shake them back to themselves. When I got up, I felt really light on my feet.
Woah, I lost weight during whatever just happened, I thought to myself.
-----I shook my mom, but nothing happened. She just kept staring at the bed! Finally I turned around, only to see myself- in the hospital bed.
Wait, what? That's me, but I'm me.., I thought- trying to find a mirror somewhere. I walked out the door and went into the bathroom to look in a mirror. I looked up at myself and cringed. My normally brown eyes were a light, light blue. My brown hair was a very light blonde, almost white. My skin tone had gone from tan- to white!
What happened to me? I looked normal in that bed over there... -----I walked back to my room, feeling a bit drowsy. I leaned into a wall- only to fall into it with a jolt. "Woahhh!" I said, as I fell into someone else's room. The man in the room looked like he had been in some sort of car wreck, his head was bandaged up and his leg was in a cast.
Wait, I can walk through walls too? And I'm pale and white? This can only mean one thing... I'm a ghost! Am I dead? I can't ever talk to my family or friends again? Realizing this, I walked back to my room quickly to see if I was still alive.
-----I looked at myself in the bed, and saw my lungs go up in faint, light breaths. I looked different than in a mirror- especially with all of the wires and tubes connected to me.
Okay, so I'm still alive, but what even happened to me? How long have I been here...? -----Soon after, a thin doctor with grey hair came in, holding a clipboard. "Annabelle, right? Well, she's in a pretty bad coma from the gymnastics accident. So, you say she landed on her neck?" he asked my parents.
-----"Yes, she was doing a flip and she didn't get enough air." my mom nodded her head to him, as her brown eyes swelled with tears.
-----"Well Annabelle should wake up in a couple of days, if all goes well. Our best nurses will be helping her to eat and stay healthy" he nodded at my parents, and left the room with his clipboard he had taken notes onto.
Oh, so me being stupid got me in a coma? Figures. How did I even get to become a ghost if I'm not dead though? Oh well, I just need to use it up while I can! -----Of course my first thing I wanted to know was what people were thinking about me being in the hospital, so I went over to my school. It was quite easy, because I just flew right on over!
Wow, why can't this happen every day? Flying to school- awesome! I thought maybe this would motivate me to come to school with more ambition- too bad nobody could see me!
-----I went through the front office, passing the big oak tree in front of the middle school. I went to my third period, science in room B-3. I saw lots of my friends talking, so I decided to get a closer look. At first, I was creeping around so nobody could see me- then I remembered, I could be free! I started to float around the room and jump on the desks, it was really awesome!
-----"Okay everyone, open your textbooks to page 213" my teacher, Mr. Harp said to the class, writing it onto the whiteboard in blue marker.
-----"What page?" Jake, the kid who never listens, asked without raising his hand.
Sometimes I wonder about that kid...-----My teacher sighed, and pointed at the board "I wrote it up here for a reason, page 123." he said, in a stern voice.
-----When everyone started to work, I went over to one of my friend's desks. Her name was Kayla, as she worked her short black hair fell into her face many times, she tried blowing it away but then she gave up and whispered to Jamie- my friend next to her. "Do you have a bobby pin I can use?"
-----"Sure" she handed her one of the bobby pins attached to her binder over to Kayla.
She is always so prepared... maybe that's why we are friends! "Did you hear about what happened to Annabelle?" she whispered and set down her pencil.
-----"How could I not? She's one of my best friends. I wish we could visit her, but she's unresponsive.." she said, looking up at her and coming out of the slouching position.
Aww, she wanted to visit me! Man I wish I could tell her I was a ghost right now. -----"I feel bad because she kept talking about that big gymnastics competition and now I'm not sure if she can compete." Jamie told her with concern in her brown eyes.
Oh no, I forgot about the competition! I've been training for months..all down the drain.-----"Wow she's been training for that forever I-" she was cut off when Mr. Harp shushed her.
Wait, no- don't you shush her! I wanted to hear that! Wait, I've always wanted to do this. I went up to my teacher and slapped him, but my hand went right through! I kept doing it, because it was fun that he didn't even notice me.
Haha! He doesn't even notice! This is so weird.. I stuck my hand into the table and flung it around.
-----Okay, time to be serious. What other people could I spy on without them knowing? Wait a minute, I started floating up, up, right through the spotted ceiling tiles- through the insulation and bricks of the building, and to the roof!
Wow! So this is what it's like on this roof... pretty boring looking. Just some tubes for AC and bird poo. I continued to look around on the roof for a while, and I noticed a few basketballs and other random items up there.
Well I should probably help a bit. I grabbed all of the random items and threw them off the roof at the sidewalk below. Watching them fall down was fun, because they just floated gracefully down- sort of.
-----Now it was time to do some more ghosting fun!
What do other ghosts do? What should I do... oh! I've got it! I went back into the school to get into the newspaper room to see what they were writing about. The writers room was in room C-6, and nobody went in unless you were an official reporter for our school newspaper- that is, until now.
I wonder if there will be a story about me! I dug around looking for this weeks paper notes and articles.
Here it is! Okay.. let's see here, anything good? I thought, picking up a crisp, white piece of paper and reading it.
-----Hmm, lunch prices, economics, student is hospitalized- Here we go! I looked through the article papers and found the one about me.
This is kind of played up- I mean, I didn't "brutally land on my neck" did I? I hope not.. wait- is this a PICTURE!? on the side of the article, they had placed a big picture of me in the hospital, sleeping.
Just great. Now the whole school gets to see me like that! Wait a minute- nobody reads this paper! I breathed a sigh of relief and set down the papers. I looked around the small room a bit more. There was two computers on one side of the room, and a table with a desk lamp and a few pencils on the other. The back wall was covered in filing cabinets with photos on them. It was a lot less exciting then I was expecting, I mean... everyone was always spreading rumors about a ghost that lives in there.
Oh. Wait- I'm a ghost! Hehe... I wonder what I could do with that! Oh well, I need to find something else to do.-----As I thought of what to do next, I walked around the school, going into rooms students weren't allowed. The teachers lounge wasn't really too great. Just a few couches, a vending machine, and some tables. It was just an ordinary room, so I left there- floating through the wall of course! I wanted to use it up while I could, so I did!
-----I wonder what the guys are thinking about me being gone.. I thought, floating into the cafeteria, because now it was about lunch time. I went over to a few of my closest guy friends and sat on their table, right on their food. I listened into their conversation over all of the other talking- or screaming people.
-----"Eew what is this??" Jason asked, picking up a piece of "meat" from his sandwich, and plugging his freckled nose.
Good thing I always bring home lunch! Now is something exciting going to happen or not?-----"I dare you to eat it!" Mason pointed at the strange, spotted piece of meat as his blue eyes glowed.
-----"Even I wouldn't eat that, Mason!" Jason replied, slipping it under the table and discreetly kicked it away from their table with the bottom of his shoe.
-----Mason frowned and then laughed. "Okay. I wouldn't have either- I probably would have ended up in the hospital! Wouldn't want to be there."
-----"Oh, you guys! Did you hear what happened to Annabelle?" Liam said, butting into their conversation. He had dreamy green eyes that looked like a forest and brown hair that was a creamy chocolaty color. Okay- maybe I liked him..
He knows who I am?? Well, duh he does we're in the same reading class! Or maybe he just heard from someone else. I thought, sitting up and getting off of their table so I could see all of them.
-----"Yeah! I heard she is in the hospital." Mason said, flinging his weird meat across the lunch room.
-----"From what? Let me guess, one of her dumb gymnastics things?" Jason asked, taking a sip of his chocolate milk.
-----"They aren't dumb, I think it's kind of cool! But, yeah she landed on her neck" Liam told him, defending me.
Not dumb? Woo hoo! I'm officially not dumb to him!-----"Ouch. Hey... you like her don't you??" Mason teased him as he took a bite of his apple.
-----"Well-" Liam was cut off, and suddenly I felt really dizzy and everything went black.
Wait! No! Does he like me or not?? Oh well, that doesn't matter now. Where am I? Anything I could see was spinning, but most everything was just black and white. I saw swirls and other various shapes float by my face. It was as if I could grab them! I reached out to grab one, and then another- but for some reason I couldn't get a grip on one! For whatever reason, I kept on trying and trying to grab one of them!
-----Then I was stopped. "Annabelle- are you okay?" I opened my eyes, and saw my mom hovering above me.
Wait, I thought this coma was suppose to be days long! I'm not still a ghost?? I tried to sit up, but it wasn't with ease like last time. Right as I went to get up- everything ached and hurt. My arms, my back, my legs, and especially my neck.
-----"M-m-mom? What happened?" I tried to pretend I didn't know what was happening, although I did want to just get up and do some more gymnastics.
-----"Honey, you fell during some training, and you won't be able to do the competition." my mom said to me, with concern in her eyes.
-----"When? What day is it?" this part I really didn't know. I didn't check the calender as a ghost, because I had other priorities.
-----"It happened 2 days ago. It's Wednesday."
-----"Oh.. okay. I'm going back to sleep now." I said, closing my eyes and relaxing my body again into my warm hospital sheets.
I think I like being human better than ghost, except for all of this aching. I thought, getting as comfortable as I could in my hurt self. I missed being a ghost but I was happy because I was still alive, and there would be other competitions to compete in- and I was already halfway done with training... except now I had to do a bunch of physical therapy to get myself back into life.
-----It was a fun day, being a ghost. You should try it sometime![/center]
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