Bonus wrote:Silverhart wrote:Yes, it was unclear that is not an actual family. I assumed it was an actual family until you mentioned the 'Brody heritage' and then I thought 'wait, are there more then one family?' I also don't think you used congregation incorrectly, but I think because it was referred to as a 'family' and not clarified as a 'community', it didn't make sense to me. And you're not stupid! Don't say that! ^^
Um, I'd have to reread it, but nothing stuck out too bad. A few sentences that could be shortened, or words that could be dropped, just to get a better flow. Like for example, "And overtime, their numbers gradually decreased from the lack of new comers, and for the leave of families who questioned the terms of Dominick Brody and his successors to come." That's a little wordy, so that could be fixed up a little, maybe split into two sentences. I'm not sure if 'for the leave of' is grammatically correct either, so you could probably find a better way to say it. Stuff like that. Overall it made sense, but you could just probably have it read a little better.
Anyway, don't worry or feel too sensitive. ^^ Nobody's judging you, when they critique your work. You get critique so you can get feedback on how to better express your ideas. It doesn't mean your ideas are bad, or that my or anyone else's ideas are better. I know I'm probably not helping - it's still hard not to feel like you're being judged sometimes, but you're brave for putting your work out there for some critique.Alright <33 I'll see what I can do to make that a bit more obvious as their title than as an actual family name. (Do you think I should mention that Lycanthrope means werewolf or is that unnecessary?)
Okay, :') I fixed that particular sentence up a bit. Hopefully that's a bit more clear now.
No no you've helped me to have a bit more of an open mind with my wording and gave me your opinion a stranger. (If I may be so bold to say x'D) And that's exactly what I needed, thank you so much!
Yeah I really have to work on my whole 'sensitive' issue if I ever want to get serious about writing. ;o; haha thank you again ; v ; I really appreciate your help and understanding.
Just butting in (as always *lol*). At some point, somewhen, people will judge you. Especially if you dare to write what you are passionate about. Because people never agree on anything, and because frankly, some people are trolls. If you truly write from within you, you're bound to ruffle someone's feathers. Sooner or later, you'll have to deal with those too, especially if you want to pursue a career as a writer (and you absolutely need to be able to deal with ruffling other people's feathers).
Learn to let it slide. You don't have to be perfect - that's an unattainable goal. Just try to do the best work you can currently do and ignore the boos and verbal abuse (or report it, if possible and needed). If you have readers that like your work, those are the ones you should care about. They will be the ones who might even give you constructive criticism or point out things you might have done better, and in a way that won't make you feel stupid. They are the ones that connect with you through your writing, and those are the ones you should be writing for, not the ones disliking you or your work, or the ones that want you to change.
I've just often found that the people most scared or sensitive about people judging them are those that want to be perfect. Just remember that "perfect" is a very vague and generalised concept. Such generalities won't get you far, trust me. I covered this topic in my psychology studies.
Be who you are and write what you love, and don't be afraid of people giving you pointers. We all make mistakes. We've all committed writing sins. We're all fallible. If we weren't, we'd never be able to become better.
(keep up the giddy feeling! Hang on to it as long as you like - I would XD)
