{ ＩＮＫＬＩＮＧＳ } LOCK! NEW THREAD

[Zalia]

Okay, so I was debating with myself about this... and am still not entirely sure (mostly because I'm so shy *lol*), but I think I really would like some help with my Frozen fanfiction I'm planning right now (some plot doctoring and helping where I'm stuck). I think I'll also need a beta reader once I start writing it.
So, if anyone is willing (preferably a native English speaker and good with spelling, grammar and nuances, because I'm not a native), I'd reaaally appreciate the help! Feel free to send me a PM :3

I can help you with that if you would like?

[Silverhart]

Okay, so I was debating with myself about this... and am still not entirely sure (mostly because I'm so shy *lol*), but I think I really would like some help with my Frozen fanfiction I'm planning right now (some plot doctoring and helping where I'm stuck). I think I'll also need a beta reader once I start writing it.
So, if anyone is willing (preferably a native English speaker and good with spelling, grammar and nuances, because I'm not a native), I'd reaaally appreciate the help! Feel free to send me a PM :3

Oh! I have the second part of my Frozen fanfiction out. I would really, really love some critique on it!

Clicky <3

'Frozen' fanfictions! Yay! ^^ I'd love to read them. I'll see if I can muster up a critique for you Waiting for Batman - but I am still getting over a cold and am feeling awfully lazy today. XP I'll definitly read it though.

And if you need any opinions or critique on yours Rolly, you can ask me. I would love to read it.

Loving 'Frozen' fanfics so much. ^^ Don't judge me! XP

[Rolly-chan]

You're making it hard for me to choose *cough* So I'll just pm both of you xP Two separate opinions are always nice *_*

@Silverhart
Whoever should judge you? I mean, it's Frozen. Does not compute? XD

[Silent Mist]

Okay, so I have had this idea for a while where a girl is new in town and she runs into the 'Original 6' (Snobby popular girls who have been friends forever, growing up together) who start off being her friend. The new girl ends up making friends with this less popular girl but she doesn't know how desperate this less popular girl is to get into the poplar crew. The less popular girl tries to hook up the newbie with one of the popular girls boyfriends while playing it cool like she is going to be this girls best friend. This gets the popular girls mad who are determined to make her life h***. In the process of doing that the less popular girl spills out all the newbies secrets to the original 6 who use them to their advantage. The new girl has no idea why she is getting bullied and discovers on her way home that the girl she thought was her friend is really behind all this. But before she could do anything the popular girls dispose of her like a piece of trash cutting the girls life short. The girl, though she is physically dead, isn't quite dead all the way. She haunts the girls until they dispose of themselves one by one and she leaves red pearls (Which would be stolen from her when she was disposed of. Well they would be white but you should get the red part.) The girl leaves her "friend" to be the last one to dispose of which she tries to say she isn't afraid of the new girl. The ghost of the girl drives her mad putting her in a mad house until she confesses to what she did and in the end she is left to live with what happened to all the girls.

Do you think this is a good story line? obviously I cant tell you everything that happens into detail but that is the run down basically. Thoughts? Suggestions?

Any other thoughts and suggestions?

[Rolly-chan]

Okay, so I have had this idea for a while where a girl is new in town and she runs into the 'Original 6' (Snobby popular girls who have been friends forever, growing up together) who start off being her friend. The new girl ends up making friends with this less popular girl but she doesn't know how desperate this less popular girl is to get into the poplar crew. The less popular girl tries to hook up the newbie with one of the popular girls boyfriends while playing it cool like she is going to be this girls best friend. This gets the popular girls mad who are determined to make her life h***. In the process of doing that the less popular girl spills out all the newbies secrets to the original 6 who use them to their advantage. The new girl has no idea why she is getting bullied and discovers on her way home that the girl she thought was her friend is really behind all this. But before she could do anything the popular girls dispose of her like a piece of trash cutting the girls life short. The girl, though she is physically dead, isn't quite dead all the way. She haunts the girls until they dispose of themselves one by one and she leaves red pearls (Which would be stolen from her when she was disposed of. Well they would be white but you should get the red part.) The girl leaves her "friend" to be the last one to dispose of which she tries to say she isn't afraid of the new girl. The ghost of the girl drives her mad putting her in a mad house until she confesses to what she did and in the end she is left to live with what happened to all the girls.

Do you think this is a good story line? obviously I cant tell you everything that happens into detail but that is the run down basically. Thoughts? Suggestions?

Any other thoughts and suggestions?

Such a type of story is not really my cup of tea (mostly because everyone dies, and I'm not a fan of everyone-dies-scenarios), but I must say I agree with Electra Heart - it is a different take on the unpopular girl vs. popular girls conflict, and that's great ^^
To me, it also sounds a little extreme that they would beat her up so badly she dies. That's actually the only element that is still lacking, to my mind. I don't know - maybe it would be more believable if the others torment her both physically and psychologically, so she commits suicide and then haunts them all and wants them to end the same way she did?

[Silent Mist]

@Rolly-Chan
That's a good idea. Thank you .I know its kind of dark but not everyone dies. The less popular girl doesn't. I might keep other girls who just end up in the crazy house as well.

[reichenbach falls]

Okay, so I have had this idea for a while where a girl is new in town and she runs into the 'Original 6' (Snobby popular girls who have been friends forever, growing up together) who start off being her friend. The new girl ends up making friends with this less popular girl but she doesn't know how desperate this less popular girl is to get into the poplar crew. The less popular girl tries to hook up the newbie with one of the popular girls boyfriends while playing it cool like she is going to be this girls best friend. This gets the popular girls mad who are determined to make her life h***. In the process of doing that the less popular girl spills out all the newbies secrets to the original 6 who use them to their advantage. The new girl has no idea why she is getting bullied and discovers on her way home that the girl she thought was her friend is really behind all this. But before she could do anything the popular girls dispose of her like a piece of trash cutting the girls life short. The girl, though she is physically dead, isn't quite dead all the way. She haunts the girls until they dispose of themselves one by one and she leaves red pearls (Which would be stolen from her when she was disposed of. Well they would be white but you should get the red part.) The girl leaves her "friend" to be the last one to dispose of which she tries to say she isn't afraid of the new girl. The ghost of the girl drives her mad putting her in a mad house until she confesses to what she did and in the end she is left to live with what happened to all the girls.

Do you think this is a good story line? obviously I cant tell you everything that happens into detail but that is the run down basically. Thoughts? Suggestions?

Any other thoughts and suggestions?

Such a type of story is not really my cup of tea (mostly because everyone dies, and I'm not a fan of everyone-dies-scenarios), but I must say I agree with Electra Heart - it is a different take on the unpopular girl vs. popular girls conflict, and that's great ^^
To me, it also sounds a little extreme that they would beat her up so badly she dies. That's actually the only element that is still lacking, to my mind. I don't know - maybe it would be more believable if the others torment her both physically and psychologically, so she commits suicide and then haunts them all and wants them to end the same way she did?

That sounds like an awesome book, Wild Horses. And that is also a great suggestion Rolly, and it would fit well in the plot line. Can't wait to hear more about it! c;

[Rolly-chan]

Oh, the story still sounds really good and all, it's just not something I like reading too much x"D Taste can vary. Doesn't mean it isn't a good story ^^ (who knows, maybe I'd even enjoy it. That's why I usually give almost any story a chance before turning it down)
Glad to be of any help c:

[Lanton]

@Wild Horses
Sounds like a very interesting storyline. I agree that having her commit suicide would be more realistic Plus, I'd imagine if she was murdered, there'd be an investigation. Although that could be interesting too, if you wanted to work that angle. Best of luck writing ^^

[Silent Mist]

thank you for all of your thoughts and suggestions. I will hopefully get the first chapter up so you can see it(: