{ INKLINGS } LOCK! NEW THREAD

Are you a writer or a poet? Come and share your creations with us, or discuss writing techniques with others
Forum rules
Please only post your own original work, do not post poetry or stories which were written by someone else.

What do you write?

I don't. I just read.
7
3%
Poetry
39
14%
Short stories
66
24%
Juvenile/Children's books
16
6%
Young adult/Teen fiction
96
35%
Adult
35
13%
Non-fiction
13
5%
 
Total votes : 272

Re: { INKLINGS } A Thread For Writers

Postby Zalia » Mon Jan 20, 2014 6:59 am

The beast cannot be tamed, my soul is to be forever framed.
Framed within the cage that holds my memories of love, of hate.
Father, you tried to help...but were much to late.
Is this to be my eternal fate?
I walk among the crowd, their voices echoing in my mind.
Oh, how I wish everything could rewind.
My mind wanders to childhood, the sweet and innocent bliss that my heart once knew.
When I used to dance under the sky so blue.
Mother cast her hand upon me, her desperate calls of help never to be heard again.
A life filled with sin, who would have known there was a desperate plea within?
I lay now in a room filled with white, strapped to a bed like a bird desperate for flight.
No, I will never see the light.


came up with this just now, I had a little burst of inspiration...like always. I wish I could just stay that way all day and I would most likely come up with hundreds of ideas. Oh well, my mind is stubborn.
One.Two.Three.Four.Five.
Image Image
Image
-----------------
Exenity
|intj| |AAL|

-----------------

You are beautiful.
You are ignorant,
and we are forever.



Image
Image Image
User avatar
Zalia
 
Posts: 14411
Joined: Sat May 05, 2012 2:24 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: { INKLINGS } A Thread For Writers

Postby Silent Mist » Mon Jan 20, 2014 12:25 pm

Okay, so I have had this idea for a while where a girl is new in town and she runs into the 'Original 6' (Snobby popular girls who have been friends forever, growing up together) who start off being her friend. The new girl ends up making friends with this less popular girl but she doesn't know how desperate this less popular girl is to get into the poplar crew. The less popular girl tries to hook up the newbie with one of the popular girls boyfriends while playing it cool like she is going to be this girls best friend. This gets the popular girls mad who are determined to make her life h***. In the process of doing that the less popular girl spills out all the newbies secrets to the original 6 who use them to their advantage. The new girl has no idea why she is getting bullied and discovers on her way home that the girl she thought was her friend is really behind all this. But before she could do anything the popular girls dispose of her like a piece of trash cutting the girls life short. The girl, though she is physically dead, isn't quite dead all the way. She haunts the girls until they dispose of themselves one by one and she leaves red pearls (Which would be stolen from her when she was disposed of. Well they would be white but you should get the red part.) The girl leaves her "friend" to be the last one to dispose of which she tries to say she isn't afraid of the new girl. The ghost of the girl drives her mad putting her in a mad house until she confesses to what she did and in the end she is left to live with what happened to all the girls.

Do you think this is a good story line? obviously I cant tell you everything that happens into detail but that is the run down basically. Thoughts? Suggestions?
User avatar
Silent Mist
 
Posts: 17944
Joined: Mon Jul 05, 2010 9:07 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: { INKLINGS } A Thread For Writers

Postby Roonil Wazlib » Mon Jan 20, 2014 3:01 pm

@Wild Horses
I really like the part about her 'friend' who manipulates her. It makes it much more interesting, instead of being just another story about popular girls vs. unpopular girls. One question though, why did they kill the main character? It seems really drastic, considering the main character didn't really do anything to them. Maybe you could give them more of a motivation?
Image
BLACK LIVES MATTER
Image
Image Image Image
User avatar
Roonil Wazlib
 
Posts: 5087
Joined: Sat Sep 24, 2011 12:07 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: { INKLINGS } A Thread For Writers

Postby 䏠xote » Mon Jan 20, 2014 3:12 pm

Writing a new story. Chapter one is up, and I'd love some critique.
User avatar
䏠xote
 
Posts: 5491
Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2013 9:08 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: { INKLINGS } A Thread For Writers

Postby Wolfie Lee » Mon Jan 20, 2014 3:23 pm

Username:whitekit
What we will call you: Wes(a maximum of four.)
Will you critique other's work?:? (yes, no, or possibly.)
Links to your story if you have any:http://www.chickensmoothie.com/Forum/viewtopic.php?f=57&t=2089121#p64773766
Anything you want us to know?:I almost published a book!
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

~Martin Luther King Jr.
User avatar
Wolfie Lee
 
Posts: 1625
Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2012 1:28 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: { INKLINGS } A Thread For Writers

Postby Silent Mist » Mon Jan 20, 2014 3:26 pm

Electra Heart wrote:@Wild Horses
I really like the part about her 'friend' who manipulates her. It makes it much more interesting, instead of being just another story about popular girls vs. unpopular girls. One question though, why did they kill the main character? It seems really drastic, considering the main character didn't really do anything to them. Maybe you could give them more of a motivation?



thank you(: I'm glad you like it. to be honest I haven't completely worked that out yet. I was thinking that the "friend" could get on a social media or something and post a lot about the girls on there that was bad and not true which would motivate them to attacking the newbie in fighting terms. then I I was thinking, possibly, the less popular girl could be there while the attack is happening and say stuff about the newbie getting with one of the original 6' s boyfriends which wouldn't be true. maybe they could just beat her badly that she dies, sadly.
User avatar
Silent Mist
 
Posts: 17944
Joined: Mon Jul 05, 2010 9:07 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: { INKLINGS } A Thread For Writers

Postby Wolfie Lee » Mon Jan 20, 2014 3:27 pm

whitekit wrote:Username:whitekit
What we will call you: Wes(a maximum of four.)
Will you critique other's work?:? (yes, no, or possibly.)
Links to your story if you have any:http://www.chickensmoothie.com/Forum/viewtopic.php?f=57&t=2089121#p64773766
Anything you want us to know?:I almost published a book!

Does that mean I am accepted? And when do I get to be in the membership?
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

~Martin Luther King Jr.
User avatar
Wolfie Lee
 
Posts: 1625
Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2012 1:28 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: { INKLINGS } A Thread For Writers

Postby Rolly-chan » Tue Jan 21, 2014 3:18 am

Okay, so I was debating with myself about this... and am still not entirely sure (mostly because I'm so shy *lol*), but I think I really would like some help with my Frozen fanfiction I'm planning right now (some plot doctoring and helping where I'm stuck). I think I'll also need a beta reader once I start writing it.
So, if anyone is willing (preferably a native English speaker and good with spelling, grammar and nuances, because I'm not a native), I'd reaaally appreciate the help! Feel free to send me a PM :3
User avatar
Rolly-chan
 
Posts: 2790
Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:09 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

HELP DESPERATELY NEEDED!!!

Postby Wind Frost » Tue Jan 21, 2014 4:58 am

OMG GUYS! HELP! I try to go on the oekaki, I have trusted java, but it says that I haven't DOES ANYPONY KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING??
Tiny Little Boxes wrote:W I N
Image
D F R O S T


My Charden

I iz bored
Shut up millie you're always bored
Imma dig hole and die now XD
IMMA FOLLOW YOOOUUUUU

Image
User avatar
Wind Frost
 
Posts: 1434
Joined: Sat Mar 03, 2012 5:34 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: { INKLINGS } A Thread For Writers

Postby 䏠xote » Tue Jan 21, 2014 5:02 am

I don't know how to help you there. :s

Oh! I have the second part of my Frozen fanfiction out. I would really, really love some critique on it!


Clicky <3
User avatar
䏠xote
 
Posts: 5491
Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2013 9:08 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Applebot [Spider] and 1 guest

Click to claim your prize!