Hey guys! So this is kinda the intro to a story I thought about writing. I'm not sure if anyone would be interested in it because it'll get a bit weird, funky, and crazy at times so please leave any comments and critiques on here. Anything is appreciated. Thank you for reading. And you can skip the character intro and such. Also, If you could answer the poll that would be great. 
The Devil's Son
Character Intro/Index/Glossary:
(Will be updated as more characters are set into the story.)
Erique Donnovan- Half demon. Son of Zhar and master fighter.
Lynn Tyr (The White Lion)- Lone elf that fights battles for the good of Leigha. Also a bounty hunter of demons.
Elrique Zhar (Czar)- Demon. General of Kione’s dark forces. Has three forms, human, half form (in between), and demon.
Kione- Demon. Dark shapeshiftor that holds and commands an army.
Lacrim/Solis- Demon/Lamia. Second general of Kione's dark forces. Always looks for an excuse to challenge Zhar.
Bleradeth- Demonic Equine/Demon’s Call. Mount of Zhar. Created by Zhar. Hoards mares of any race and enjoys fawn meat. Will bite and consume the soul of a mare if she fights back to much.
The Creature- A zombie like demon that does whatever his master, Kione, orders. It has periodic psychotic breakdowns, making Zhar chain him up most of the time.
Strypfine (Strife-in)- Deer like creatures that can communicate with nature. Creatures of good omen. They bare large antlers with a branch that hooks low to their sides and a long, tufted tail that they rest on the lowest branch of their horns.
Demon's Call ("DeCa")- A type of demon that cannot be born into the race, it must be created by another demon of great power. The conjuror will have control of the DeCa and gain any power that the creature does. The more souls the demon collects will determine it's power, seen in the eyesockets that usually glow white, depending on amount of souls consumed. All are "born" with hollow eye. Their teeth are lined fangs in their mouth and they reek of rotting flesh. They have the appearance of a winged unicorn. Common habit is hoarding opposite gender equines of any race.
Leigha- Land where creatures of myth, fairy tails, and more dwell in.
Cliffs of Dallah- Cliff formation in Leigha that lines half of the coast.
Coast of Samora- The coast that meets the cliffs and the mainland of Leigha.
Forest of Asguard- The forest of Leigha and home of many of the creatures.
Lebion- Elven city within the Forest of Asguard.
Lake of Sabell- The only lake in Leigha that is fed by the River of Lacrim. Home of many water creatures and sirens.
River of Lacrim- The only river of Leigha that feeds the Lake of Sabell. Home of most Lamias and pranksters.
Mountains of Babel- Mountain range that separates the Forest of Asguard and the Wastelands of Guild. Home of most dragons and surefooted creatures.
Wastelands of Guild- A desert/wasteland that houses the most vile creatures, generally demons.
The Devil's Son
Character Intro/Index/Glossary:
(Will be updated as more characters are set into the story.)
Erique Donnovan- Half demon. Son of Zhar and master fighter.
Lynn Tyr (The White Lion)- Lone elf that fights battles for the good of Leigha. Also a bounty hunter of demons.
Elrique Zhar (Czar)- Demon. General of Kione’s dark forces. Has three forms, human, half form (in between), and demon.
Kione- Demon. Dark shapeshiftor that holds and commands an army.
Lacrim/Solis- Demon/Lamia. Second general of Kione's dark forces. Always looks for an excuse to challenge Zhar.
Bleradeth- Demonic Equine/Demon’s Call. Mount of Zhar. Created by Zhar. Hoards mares of any race and enjoys fawn meat. Will bite and consume the soul of a mare if she fights back to much.
The Creature- A zombie like demon that does whatever his master, Kione, orders. It has periodic psychotic breakdowns, making Zhar chain him up most of the time.
Strypfine (Strife-in)- Deer like creatures that can communicate with nature. Creatures of good omen. They bare large antlers with a branch that hooks low to their sides and a long, tufted tail that they rest on the lowest branch of their horns.
Demon's Call ("DeCa")- A type of demon that cannot be born into the race, it must be created by another demon of great power. The conjuror will have control of the DeCa and gain any power that the creature does. The more souls the demon collects will determine it's power, seen in the eyesockets that usually glow white, depending on amount of souls consumed. All are "born" with hollow eye. Their teeth are lined fangs in their mouth and they reek of rotting flesh. They have the appearance of a winged unicorn. Common habit is hoarding opposite gender equines of any race.
Leigha- Land where creatures of myth, fairy tails, and more dwell in.
Cliffs of Dallah- Cliff formation in Leigha that lines half of the coast.
Coast of Samora- The coast that meets the cliffs and the mainland of Leigha.
Forest of Asguard- The forest of Leigha and home of many of the creatures.
Lebion- Elven city within the Forest of Asguard.
Lake of Sabell- The only lake in Leigha that is fed by the River of Lacrim. Home of many water creatures and sirens.
River of Lacrim- The only river of Leigha that feeds the Lake of Sabell. Home of most Lamias and pranksters.
Mountains of Babel- Mountain range that separates the Forest of Asguard and the Wastelands of Guild. Home of most dragons and surefooted creatures.
Wastelands of Guild- A desert/wasteland that houses the most vile creatures, generally demons.
(I don't know whether to make this the first chapter, prologue, or something. I'm thinking of making it like the part on the cover. If this was the summary on the back of a book would you read it or leave it?)
Synopses(?)
Erique Donnovan had just completed the last of his training before the draft. Within fifteen years he had managed to master all the arts of combat from regions of all over the world, even through the death of his mother at the eighth year of training. His measure of grasping was beyond the norm and was now left with nothing but freedom to roam until the war came about. His aged master had passed away just after his completion of the knowledge, leaving him a very valuable piece that would change the course of his life. A sword that bared the head of a demon upon it’s hilt. The sensei had used the last of his alchemy on that blade to deflect any other hand that contained Donnovan’s blood within it. Like all men of age, the draft had reeled him away into the ranks as a war was being declared upon an unknown land. Seeing his abilities not long after, he was moved to the squad of Elite Hunters, The ones who were sent in to take down the defense from within while all the troops were being prepared to strike the new land of Leigha. A land discovered through the open portal of unknown origin that contained many creatures of myth, fairy tales and even those unheard of. He strayed from the forces as he saw that they were trying to take the land and creatures for their own use and entertainment.
Not long after did the war end, getting the creatures of Leigha to trust him and join them in their freedom. But that rainy battle field had left him an insatiable want of answers. Answers to what and who that creature was that had freed it’s hand from the hilt in a snap from a burning coal. Had the sword’s curse aftected the creature? If so then why?
For the past five years that there has been peace in the land of Leigha, it has kept him in sleepless nights of puzzlement. How he ached to find answers. What was it about that creature that kept him in such puzzlement and interested, eagerness flowing to find an answer that seemed impossible at times? Had his beloved mother kept a secret of him? Was there more to him then what his reflection showed? Was that the secret that was hidden behind all of his abilities? Behind that which kept his bones intact, tiredness in check, and blood from draining fully? What was he missing? What was he looking for? He was unsure of whether or not he wanted to know those answers now.
Prologue (?)
He discarded the flying... "thing" as he continued watching, a claw on his avian type feet tapping on the branch and his long tail swaying about behind him. He noticed the sword that the rebel Hunter held and thought it quite artistic. This human also struck his interest.
Erique blocked with the blade but, as dumb luck would have him, was knocked out of his hand and flung out of the circle of other hunters. Rolling to the pole on the floor, he grabbed it and squatted in his defense position, the large ape of a hunter already swinging his blows at him. He swept the large man's feet from under and delivered a blow to his hand which released the remaining piece of the scythe that he had broken earlier in the dual. He dropped the pole and moved to his own personal weapons on the ground.
Seeing the opportunity, the creature of both flesh and feather jumped down, walking over to the sword that was now protruding from the ground. As if invisible to the humans who were currently distracted by the battle before them, he reached to grasp the handle of the iron weapon. As soon as his flesh made contact he snapped his arm back to his chest and with his wings took a gliding leap back into a crouch with a hiss. He looked at his hand, flesh burned and deformed as if acid had kissed his palm.
"Bewitched." He hissed with a glare to the sword.
Erique grabbed his much beloved tonfas and turned just in time to block the blow of a jagged sword.
"Wood against steel won't work Donnovan. I thought you knew that." Growled the large man with another blow, a serrated blade now in his large hand.
Erique lifted one of the tonfas and saw the blade chop off the end, creating a sharp end in it's stead. He hunched his feet into his chest and kicked his feet upward, soon standing as well and, with quick movments, knocked the mountain sized man back on his back. Still moving with timed speed, he grabbed the sword and, seeing the opponent wouldn't let go so easily, he latched onto the wrist, snapping his elbow inwards. Soon after the disabling of the joint, he stabbed his abdomen with the tonfa's newly sharp end and again with the metal that the hunter had held just moments ago, just above his heart, sinking it to the ground to pin him down with the man's own sword, the jagged teeth of it shredding the flesh and muscle in it’s path. "No it does not. But one sure learns to play along with the twisted laws of the universe." He replied as he stood up. "According to the creed we're supposed to kill our opponent in live combat." He looked at the bleeding Hunter on the floor that grunted in pain. "But I'd just rather watch you suffer. Watch you bleed to death. You do not deserve the mercy of the quick and painless. You have become a disgrace, Bathos. A disgrace to what we truly stand for, what we were taught to protect with our teachings and skills." His voice was a hiss and the other hunters backed up, never seeing this side of him. "You should all just leave. Unless you have a death wish you have no business here anymore. Your cause is in vain." He spoke to the others that surrounded him and the wounded, not sparing a single glance at them as he did so.
Zhar looked up and smiled, his dark soul glorified with the harsh words from the young hunter’s lips. One thing they had in common. To see their enemy writhe in pain, no mercy or any other jumble of [censored] to juggle about. Just plain sadistic pleasure. He stood up and clapped. "Bravo. Well said young man. I see, finally, that I am not the only one left in this wretched earth to think such things." His wide grin and mocking tone clearly present in his sugar coated voice, like the sweet caramel around a poisoned apple, his long tail twitching along with his wings as his large talons upon his feet dug into the ground with his weight.
Everyone backed up to see him, not knowing what he was. Such blind humans to the supernatural. They didn't see that he was a demonic being so their fright was not present. As far as they knew he was just a harpy or another strange creature with a sense of thought.
"Don't do this Erique." The winged unicorn pleaded as it observed from the side. "If you do it, you won't be any different than what you were like before. The same as them." It glared as the Demonic creature approached.
Czar laughed. "It's what he is, creature. A sadistic human with a sense of sane insanity that no one can change. It is who he is." His tail whipped about himself in a fit of joyous entertainment as he looked at all the onlookers.
"No. It is just the hidden demon within everyone, but times like these come and go in a quick flash. Don't flatter yourself over it." Donnovan growled.
"Oh, I think I will. It's not every day I find a human such as yourself. Quite charming and... delightfully sinful. Tell me. How good does it feel to you for this... Bathos creature to writhe in pain before you? Doesn't it feel marvelous? Such... rush and excitement." His words were that of a snake, enticing the meal to come to it instead.
"Perhapse. But in the end I will be left with no other choice but slay him. His whines and grunts of suffering are rather irritating." He answered. He wasn't going to admit the satisfaction it gave him to this creature but it was like he couldn't stop himself. At least he didn’t state it directly.
The demon laughed again. "You will think otherwise in time. I know it so. Weather it is now or in years to come, you will feed the monster within and give in to it." He turned halfway to leave then stopped. "And... Don't forget your precious sword. I'd hand it to you but it seems you have bewitched it against me. Mind you I was planning on taking it. Until the next time we meet, I shall go do other, more mischievous things with my time." He shot into the sky and the only thing he left behind was the echo of his malicious laugh.
Erique walked over to his sword and unsheathed it from the ground, walking back to decapitate the moaning head from the tattered body, not bothering to claim other weapons earned. He walked off, ignoring all of the other men who just stood there, staring at him from the small scene that had just occurred before their eyes.
Erique Donnovan had just completed the last of his training before the draft. Within fifteen years he had managed to master all the arts of combat from regions of all over the world, even through the death of his mother at the eighth year of training. His measure of grasping was beyond the norm and was now left with nothing but freedom to roam until the war came about. His aged master had passed away just after his completion of the knowledge, leaving him a very valuable piece that would change the course of his life. A sword that bared the head of a demon upon it’s hilt. The sensei had used the last of his alchemy on that blade to deflect any other hand that contained Donnovan’s blood within it. Like all men of age, the draft had reeled him away into the ranks as a war was being declared upon an unknown land. Seeing his abilities not long after, he was moved to the squad of Elite Hunters, The ones who were sent in to take down the defense from within while all the troops were being prepared to strike the new land of Leigha. A land discovered through the open portal of unknown origin that contained many creatures of myth, fairy tales and even those unheard of. He strayed from the forces as he saw that they were trying to take the land and creatures for their own use and entertainment.
Not long after did the war end, getting the creatures of Leigha to trust him and join them in their freedom. But that rainy battle field had left him an insatiable want of answers. Answers to what and who that creature was that had freed it’s hand from the hilt in a snap from a burning coal. Had the sword’s curse aftected the creature? If so then why?
For the past five years that there has been peace in the land of Leigha, it has kept him in sleepless nights of puzzlement. How he ached to find answers. What was it about that creature that kept him in such puzzlement and interested, eagerness flowing to find an answer that seemed impossible at times? Had his beloved mother kept a secret of him? Was there more to him then what his reflection showed? Was that the secret that was hidden behind all of his abilities? Behind that which kept his bones intact, tiredness in check, and blood from draining fully? What was he missing? What was he looking for? He was unsure of whether or not he wanted to know those answers now.
Prologue (?)
He discarded the flying... "thing" as he continued watching, a claw on his avian type feet tapping on the branch and his long tail swaying about behind him. He noticed the sword that the rebel Hunter held and thought it quite artistic. This human also struck his interest.
Erique blocked with the blade but, as dumb luck would have him, was knocked out of his hand and flung out of the circle of other hunters. Rolling to the pole on the floor, he grabbed it and squatted in his defense position, the large ape of a hunter already swinging his blows at him. He swept the large man's feet from under and delivered a blow to his hand which released the remaining piece of the scythe that he had broken earlier in the dual. He dropped the pole and moved to his own personal weapons on the ground.
Seeing the opportunity, the creature of both flesh and feather jumped down, walking over to the sword that was now protruding from the ground. As if invisible to the humans who were currently distracted by the battle before them, he reached to grasp the handle of the iron weapon. As soon as his flesh made contact he snapped his arm back to his chest and with his wings took a gliding leap back into a crouch with a hiss. He looked at his hand, flesh burned and deformed as if acid had kissed his palm.
"Bewitched." He hissed with a glare to the sword.
Erique grabbed his much beloved tonfas and turned just in time to block the blow of a jagged sword.
"Wood against steel won't work Donnovan. I thought you knew that." Growled the large man with another blow, a serrated blade now in his large hand.
Erique lifted one of the tonfas and saw the blade chop off the end, creating a sharp end in it's stead. He hunched his feet into his chest and kicked his feet upward, soon standing as well and, with quick movments, knocked the mountain sized man back on his back. Still moving with timed speed, he grabbed the sword and, seeing the opponent wouldn't let go so easily, he latched onto the wrist, snapping his elbow inwards. Soon after the disabling of the joint, he stabbed his abdomen with the tonfa's newly sharp end and again with the metal that the hunter had held just moments ago, just above his heart, sinking it to the ground to pin him down with the man's own sword, the jagged teeth of it shredding the flesh and muscle in it’s path. "No it does not. But one sure learns to play along with the twisted laws of the universe." He replied as he stood up. "According to the creed we're supposed to kill our opponent in live combat." He looked at the bleeding Hunter on the floor that grunted in pain. "But I'd just rather watch you suffer. Watch you bleed to death. You do not deserve the mercy of the quick and painless. You have become a disgrace, Bathos. A disgrace to what we truly stand for, what we were taught to protect with our teachings and skills." His voice was a hiss and the other hunters backed up, never seeing this side of him. "You should all just leave. Unless you have a death wish you have no business here anymore. Your cause is in vain." He spoke to the others that surrounded him and the wounded, not sparing a single glance at them as he did so.
Zhar looked up and smiled, his dark soul glorified with the harsh words from the young hunter’s lips. One thing they had in common. To see their enemy writhe in pain, no mercy or any other jumble of [censored] to juggle about. Just plain sadistic pleasure. He stood up and clapped. "Bravo. Well said young man. I see, finally, that I am not the only one left in this wretched earth to think such things." His wide grin and mocking tone clearly present in his sugar coated voice, like the sweet caramel around a poisoned apple, his long tail twitching along with his wings as his large talons upon his feet dug into the ground with his weight.
Everyone backed up to see him, not knowing what he was. Such blind humans to the supernatural. They didn't see that he was a demonic being so their fright was not present. As far as they knew he was just a harpy or another strange creature with a sense of thought.
"Don't do this Erique." The winged unicorn pleaded as it observed from the side. "If you do it, you won't be any different than what you were like before. The same as them." It glared as the Demonic creature approached.
Czar laughed. "It's what he is, creature. A sadistic human with a sense of sane insanity that no one can change. It is who he is." His tail whipped about himself in a fit of joyous entertainment as he looked at all the onlookers.
"No. It is just the hidden demon within everyone, but times like these come and go in a quick flash. Don't flatter yourself over it." Donnovan growled.
"Oh, I think I will. It's not every day I find a human such as yourself. Quite charming and... delightfully sinful. Tell me. How good does it feel to you for this... Bathos creature to writhe in pain before you? Doesn't it feel marvelous? Such... rush and excitement." His words were that of a snake, enticing the meal to come to it instead.
"Perhapse. But in the end I will be left with no other choice but slay him. His whines and grunts of suffering are rather irritating." He answered. He wasn't going to admit the satisfaction it gave him to this creature but it was like he couldn't stop himself. At least he didn’t state it directly.
The demon laughed again. "You will think otherwise in time. I know it so. Weather it is now or in years to come, you will feed the monster within and give in to it." He turned halfway to leave then stopped. "And... Don't forget your precious sword. I'd hand it to you but it seems you have bewitched it against me. Mind you I was planning on taking it. Until the next time we meet, I shall go do other, more mischievous things with my time." He shot into the sky and the only thing he left behind was the echo of his malicious laugh.
Erique walked over to his sword and unsheathed it from the ground, walking back to decapitate the moaning head from the tattered body, not bothering to claim other weapons earned. He walked off, ignoring all of the other men who just stood there, staring at him from the small scene that had just occurred before their eyes.
