{ ＩＮＫＬＩＮＧＳ } A Thread For Writers

[eden .]

just popping in for a quick sec a;ldkjflasdjflksadf
guys, the contest closes in more or less 2 days, and we've got no entries ><
soooooooo it would be cool if you could submit. otherwise, we may just cancel the theme and I"ll just think of a new one. >>

[skrundle]

Gah! Join the contest, guys!
Besides, I came up with the theme and it would make me feel happy inside if you did C:

[rothbart.]

Mamba- I like it! I'm not a huge fan of aaaa bbbb etc. as a rhyme scheme, but other than that, you get my seal of approval! This is the first darker poem that I've read in a while that doesn't center around one's self pity.

[crescent + cheep]

just popping in for a quick sec a;ldkjflasdjflksadf
guys, the contest closes in more or less 2 days, and we've got no entries ><
soooooooo it would be cool if you could submit. otherwise, we may just cancel the theme and I"ll just think of a new one. >>

I think the theme is ather.. hm, hard.
I wanted to enter, but I hate writing from the view of an animal, really.
I may do it. I might.
I realy might make myself do it just to see if I can.
dont count on it ^^

EDIT: no. I won't D:

[borneofash]

just popping in for a quick sec a;ldkjflasdjflksadf
guys, the contest closes in more or less 2 days, and we've got no entries ><
soooooooo it would be cool if you could submit. otherwise, we may just cancel the theme and I"ll just think of a new one. >>

I'm working on my entry right now, maybe if you extend the date alittle, more entries would come.

[eden .]

yeah, I was thinking about extending the date for another week to let people get some more entries in. =3=

[mamba]

Mamba- I like it! I'm not a huge fan of aaaa bbbb etc. as a rhyme scheme, but other than that, you get my seal of approval! This is the first darker poem that I've read in a while that doesn't center around one's self pity.

Didn't mean to do that x.x

[skrundle]

Critique please? ^_^ It was kinda rushed, so it's not very good xD

I see you guys are doing a bit of critique here ^_^
@Celestii: I like where you're going with it, but I have to say I agree with everything everyone's been saying. Sorry Q_Q
But yeah, just for the fun of it, I think I'm gonna give first paragraphs a try! Right here and right now! ^_^
Then could you guys critique mine, too? I think my writing skills are dropping TT_TT
Anyhoo, here I go:

It's the only thing I have to calm me right now. A repetitive noise. A constant, sturdy beat, telling me I'm still alive.
My racing heartbeat.
My legs ache so much from squatting, and the sharp branches of this thick bush leave scrapes on my thin, pale legs. I want so badly to get up, to run, but I know if I do it'll be instant death. Instant. Though I suppose immediate death would be better than a slow, painful and torturous one. But the thing is, I don't feel 'ready' to die. And of course, that's exactly how Dad felt before he was killed.
I wonder if the thing that killed him is the same thing trying to kill me now?
Then everything seems still. It's almost an unreal stillness, like it doesn't belong. I hold my raspy breath, and my ears search intentively to my surroundings. Silence. Could the coast be clear? Might I be spared this fatal day? With that in mind, I slowly stick my head out of my hiding place and scan everything around me. The same unreal stillness still haunts the area. Now could be my chance to run to freedom. To run home, if I even have a home left. Deep in my heart I know everyone's gone, dead to this world. But nevertheless, I will run and preserve my life at least one more day.
I stand up, slowly as if I'm an ill person who's been bedridden for months. I feel dizzy, my blood pressure soaring up as I take my first step. I can feel it. I can feel my blood blasting through my veins. Waiting to be spilled. Every cell in my body screams to me to hide. My heart, though, states otherwise. I honestly hate it when my body argues like this. It makes my movements clumsy and unpredictable. My body fails to listen to my mind because it knows my mind has spiraled down into insanity long ago. Also, my body already has a mind of its own.
"It's alright, it's alright." I tell myself. No, no it's not alright. Why am I lying to myself like this? Could I be trying to--
I scream.
It has hold of me. That thing. It grabbed my poor, weak body with its.... Talons? No, not talons. More like knives. But that just can't be possible....!
Confusion overwhelmes me as every one of my muscles falls limp. I can't move. Something, one of the knives, is protruding from my chest. I see my blood. I can't hear my screams. I can feel pain. I can't see. I can hear my screams. Slowly I realize they aren't my screams, but something completely unhuman. Out to destroy and kill, and watch with glee as living souls sob and writhe in agony. It must be the devil himself.
Then I can't see nor hear.

Woah, that turned out to be longer than I wanted..... Haha, once I start writing I can't stop! xD
Critique please? ^_^

[drifting]

I just finished my first chapter, if anyone would mind to give me some critigue that would be great. c:

[O.G.]

Wow, you people really do a lot of legitimate critiquing here. I was just lurking and reading through the many pages I had missed in the past couple of days, and I noticed this. Most writing threads that I have been on at one time or another were nothing like this. Apparently, you guys are great! xD. You guys have inspired me to maybe do a bit of critquing for a change. Thanks..I guess. xD.