~~Wanna read my writing?~~

Are you a writer or a poet? Come and share your creations with us, or discuss writing techniques with others
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~~Wanna read my writing?~~

Postby lonely lover » Tue Apr 17, 2012 12:16 pm

Hello. :3 So, I've written a few... Let's just call them poems. My friend says that they're really good, but I wanted someone else's critique. So, I guess read, comment, and I might post some more. By the way, none of them really have titles. XD



Play along
With the notes of my heart
Filled with flat, emotionless feelings
and sharps that jolt with anger
Just be careful not to inter fear
or the tune will be ruined
and the beautiful music
will be forever forgotten


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"Before the sunshine comes rain,
before the smiles come pain"

Even through the suffering,
problems are slain
By the ones who care enough to listen

Place your heart with the ones who care
And with the ones you love, feelings you'll share

We'll get through this together.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The silence dripped down the walls like a toxic chemical, burning holes through them and through me. I almost forgot to breath, but then I remembered. Sometimes I wish I didn't, that I could just fade and burn with the walls beside me. Sometimes I wish I wasn't even alive in this world of hate. Isn't that what got me here, though? Into the world of sterilized rooms and too patient nurses? Yet everyone understood me, they never looked down upon me. The scars were honored, and the experiences were shared. I wasn't the only one who had to deal with it. 


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Re: ~~Wanna read my writing?~~

Postby stoneleaf » Tue Apr 17, 2012 2:34 pm

I really liked all of them!!! I liked the first one the BEST. Not saying I don't like the others, I LOVE the others! :)
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Re: ~~Wanna read my writing?~~

Postby lonely lover » Tue Apr 17, 2012 2:37 pm

Thanks so much!! Do you like something specific, or just like the topic? Sorry if I seem needy, but I just wanna try and be the est I can be.


I'm a Universal Bomber!
Launched:25
Revenge:9

GENERATION 33:
The first time you see this,
copy it into your signature
on any forum and add 1 to
the generation. Social experiment.

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lonely lover
 
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Re: ~~Wanna read my writing?~~

Postby stoneleaf » Wed Apr 18, 2012 11:07 am

Lol, you'r not being needy. It sort of resembles like a person, who is very lonely. I just really like it, and it actually almost describes me! It's really good. You need to do more of this king of stuff! Like PM me when you do, because I was posting something on here, and I just saw yours, and I'm like: "hey! I wanna read this" Lol. So yea!
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Re: ~~Wanna read my writing?~~

Postby lonely lover » Wed Apr 18, 2012 11:26 am

Okay, thanks. I'll try and post some more, but I may not be able to because of schoolwork and such.


I'm a Universal Bomber!
Launched:25
Revenge:9

GENERATION 33:
The first time you see this,
copy it into your signature
on any forum and add 1 to
the generation. Social experiment.

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lonely lover
 
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Re: ~~Wanna read my writing?~~

Postby stoneleaf » Wed Apr 18, 2012 11:29 am

Ohh. Well, have fun writing! Good luck! :)
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Re: ~~Wanna read my writing?~~

Postby lonely lover » Thu Apr 19, 2012 3:15 pm

Thanks so much :)


I'm a Universal Bomber!
Launched:25
Revenge:9

GENERATION 33:
The first time you see this,
copy it into your signature
on any forum and add 1 to
the generation. Social experiment.

Image
User avatar
lonely lover
 
Posts: 1650
Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2011 10:48 am
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Re: ~~Wanna read my writing?~~

Postby lonely lover » Sat Apr 21, 2012 10:22 am

bump


I'm a Universal Bomber!
Launched:25
Revenge:9

GENERATION 33:
The first time you see this,
copy it into your signature
on any forum and add 1 to
the generation. Social experiment.

Image
User avatar
lonely lover
 
Posts: 1650
Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2011 10:48 am
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