Secrets Unleashed (Need Editor! Comments and Critics welcome

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Secrets Unleashed (Need Editor! Comments and Critics welcome

Postby Goldstarwolf » Sat Feb 25, 2012 2:38 pm

I watched Gale flying above me. "Gale can you come down?" I asked The Eagle looked at me "sure thing Ash" He squacked. The Eagle's giant golden Wings decended to the forest floor, He then shifted Into a humam. "So Ash, what did you want?" I lay on my back thinking, somthing was bothering me but i dont know what. "Just a bad feeling, like somthings wrong" I looked into his dark green eyes,his long Brown hair covered his forhead. "I dont know what to tell yah Ash" he shook his head

I sighed not nowing what to do so i stood up Shifted into my White Tiger form and ran into the water trying to was away the feeling. Gale sprinted then grabed the hanging rope that was atached to a tree over hanging the lake that we were staying at. Gale jumped on my back pushing me under water. i swam up to the surface my massive paws treading the light blue water. I shifted back to my human form. "Gale You almost killed me!" i gasped for air. Gale laughed at me, "Ash if you can survive a 5 inch Knife cut in the stomach then you can survie that" he laughed agian.

I shook my head splashing him then i lightly toched my stomach were one of the hunters knife sunk into my flesh, it was our first time we met the hunters, they are cold and show no mercy. we barly got away, but that was when we were 12 now were 15 years old.

The sun was setting fast and i called for a truce. i climbed out of the cold water and dried myself off, tomarrow was school and i knew something was coming, and it was coming fast.


Part Two

I woke up early, getting ready for school, My sick feeling still hadn't gone away. i washed myself off in the lake, and changed behind a tree. I sighed, i never wanted to go to school but Gale said it would be good for us, he was right he always is. I walked over to where Gale was still sleeping in a Tree. i lightly kicked him in the stomach "Come on Gale! Get up! we have school!" i Said to him. Gale groaned "Why do we have to go to school agian?" He asked sleepily. i laughed at him "It was your idea Stupid! now get up!" i kicked him agian "Im up! im up! no need to kick me agian!" i let him sit up and wash off. i grabed my stuff that i needed for school and headed out. Gale eventually caught up to me and we walked into Gingerine Middle together.

our first part of the day was normal nothing happened,we had L.A then Science after that we had Math, it was our normal day. the feeling in my stomach started to calm down. i wasnt as aleart, i let my guard down. I walked down to lunch with my friends, Amy, Tory, Ryan, Grace, Micha and of Corse Gale

We sat down at our usual tabel and waited to be called on. I went up to the lunch line to see what they were serving, Salad, i waled away not wanting to eat that. Tory and I were telling our corny jokes, we were all laughing having fun. i looked over at Gale, and ammediatly my laughing stopped and grew into horror


Part 3

Gale's Face was white, the color was drained right from him. I looked over at was he was looking at and i stopped right there frozen in place. Walking in the cafiteria were two of the best hunters out there, they were the one's who gave me my scar. "Gale, we need to leave now!" i whispered to him "What?" Tory asked i Shook my head "We need to get out of here now!" i hissed i looked around for an opening then i saw it, the hole in the wall that lead to another class room "Gale, we need to get in there, Now!" i looked around to make sure no one else was listening "Guys, you need to get in that crevis now!" Tory eyeballed me "Why?" i glared at her "See thoses men?" i asked pointing, the Hunters were looking around "they will kill you!" Tory still wasnt convinced "And how do you know this?" she asked. I sighed "because Gale and I are what they are looking for."

That seemed to convince them and one by one wedarted into the wall, i was the last to go in, but before i could slip through i heard the hunters voice boom "Get on the Ground with you Hands on your Head!" I glanced back everyone was on the floor and the hunters were there, looking, for us.

"what was that about!" demanded Amy i laughed Grace Glared at me "there's nothing funny about this situation, Ash" i looked at her "you know what Grace? ill tell you why im laughing" i said challenging her, then i shifted, there were sevral gaspes. i smiled up at Grace "you now see why im laughing?" i asked playfuly. i shifted back "but why?" Grace asked astonoshed "and who are thoses people out there?" i looked at her "thoses are Hunters they will kill you" i said "oh, well that good to know" Micha said. Grace started laughing histericaly "so now what are you going to do miss Tiger Girl?" I smiled at her "im going to give them what they want." i said Dissapearing back twords the Cafe


Part 4

I walked back into the Cafe, One of the hunters was holding a Girl by her neck, "Now" the Hunter said calmy "you tell me what i need to know and i wont kil you ok?" he said "Where is Ash Evergreen?" he glared at her "I dont know!" The girl cryed. The Hunter Smiled "well then i thing you broke our deal, didnt you?" he said holding a knife aginst her throught. i wasnt thinking about what i did next, i jumped onto a table and yelled at the top of my lungs "You want me? Come and Get Me!" i jumped off the table and the room was scilent

The larger hunter then spoke up "Well Ash you just make our job a little easier" the whole room was staring at me now but i didnt care. all i cared about is to keep everyone safe and get out alive. The smaller hunter droped the girl, who was breathless and ran right at me. i easily doged the attack by jumping over him and landing right behind him. The small hunter turned around fireous, and i laughed at him. he charged agian and agian i always was able to avoid his attacks. the hunter gave up trying all together, he looked over at the other hunter "Connor were going to need back up" Connor picked up his walkie Talkie "Calling all units, yes we have her calling for back up" Connor put down his walkie Talkie "Bryn, they will be here shortly" Bryn Snarled at me "You here that kitty? your coming with us" i glared at him looking for a weakness i answered his challenge "Im not going with anyone, especial you!" Bryn shrugged "Suit yourself" he said backing up. all of the sudden the glass shattered Hunters came pooring in i stared in horror as they circled me, this was it this is how Ash Evergreen would die



Part 5


step by step the circle got tighter, they were closing in on me, but i wasnt going to die without a fight. The first person lunged at me, i avoided it. three more tried all of them missed. they looked at each other and started nodding. they walked twords me, no one was jumping out at me, thats when i relized that i couldnt hide my secret forever. i shifted and sevral of the children gasped. the hunters were inches away daggers out streached. someone jumped on my back, i growled trying to throw him off, he managed to cut me sevral times before i could kill him, but soon after that anotherone joined in, then another, and another. my legs gave out on me and i fell to the ground "back up!" i could here a hunters yell it was faint and fuzzy then he whispered in my ear "im going to finish this" he back up took his blue dagger out and struck. i felt ammediate pain near my left sholder and called out in pain "Ash!" i could hear Gale's scream in the distance like a distant waterfall. Blood covered my back as i wringled in pain. "Let her Go!" he yelled his figure was becoming blurry then it turned black altogether, and just like that i was out

Part 6

my vison gradually returned first it was blurry then it got better, more clear. i was still ling on the Cafe floor, but the hunters were nowhere to be seen. Gale was leaning over me shacking me "Ash! Ash can you hear me?" i nodded and relife washed over his face


Ash Looks Like (In Human Form):

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in Animal Form:

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Gale Looks Like:

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if there is any change you want to make just post :3
Last edited by Goldstarwolf on Sun Feb 26, 2012 4:38 am, edited 19 times in total.
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Re: Secrets Unleashed (Shape Shifter Story)

Postby Goldstarwolf » Sat Feb 25, 2012 2:58 pm

bump :3
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Re: Secrets Unleashed (Shape Shifter Story)

Postby Goldstarwolf » Sat Feb 25, 2012 3:13 pm

bump :3 will make part two right now :3 (by the way this is in like the middle of a book im writing xD)
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Re: Secrets Unleashed (Shape Shifter Story)

Postby Goldstarwolf » Sat Feb 25, 2012 4:39 pm

bump Still Working on it XD
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Re: Secrets Unleashed (Shape Shifter Story)

Postby Goldstarwolf » Sat Feb 25, 2012 4:56 pm

Bump :3 almost done xD
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Re: Secrets Unleashed (Need Editor! Comments and Critics wel

Postby Goldstarwolf » Sat Feb 25, 2012 5:10 pm

bump :3
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Re: Secrets Unleashed (Need Editor! Comments and Critics wel

Postby Goldstarwolf » Sat Feb 25, 2012 5:14 pm

Bump :3
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Re: Secrets Unleashed (Need Editor! Comments and Critics wel

Postby Goldstarwolf » Sat Feb 25, 2012 5:31 pm

bump :3
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Re: Secrets Unleashed (Need Editor! Comments and Critics wel

Postby Goldstarwolf » Sat Feb 25, 2012 5:45 pm

HA! im done
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Re: Secrets Unleashed (Need Editor! Comments and Critics wel

Postby Goldstarwolf » Sun Feb 26, 2012 4:29 am

Bump :3
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