Nameless story, suggestions welcome!

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Nameless story, suggestions welcome!

Postby мосна » Thu Feb 23, 2012 3:58 am

This is a story I'm working on. It's kinda wierd, and set in the near future. I haven't worked out a name for it yet, any suggestions are welcome ^^ Here it is...

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Carla wandered through the field. On each side, she was surrounded by tall grass and, beyond the grass, towering trees of oak, maple and pine. She looked to the side. Oliver was still there, his hand entwined with her own. He turned to face her and leant towards her, kissing her lightly on the cheek. He turned away again and continued walking. She followed him silently, keeping a tight hold on his hand. The breeze picked up suddenly, causing the grass to tremble and her hair to whip around her head. Carla gasped as something large and silver appreared above them. Oliver let go of Carla's hand and forced her back into the grass. Carla looked up at him, her eyes wide and clouded with confusion and worry. "Please Carla, for me" Oliver whispered, as the hovercraft began to lower. A large, crystal clear tube descended around him. As it hit the ground, Oliver collapsed lifelessly to the ground. The tube receeded back into the hovercraft, carrying Oliver with it. Then, as instantly as it had appeared, the hovercraft disappeared. "No!" Carla cried, her voice going hoarse. She stood up, grasping frantically at the air. "No, no, no" she muttered repeatedly to herself. The world began to spin around her. The fireflies that had been dancing around the field suddenly seemed to close in around her, choking her. Then, the world turned back. Carla's body fell limply forwards to the ground. As she fell, she twisted and scraped her knee across a jagged rock, cutting herself to the bone. She landed heavily and the breath was knocked out of her. She lay on the field, motionless apart from her breathing. But even that was slowly growing less frequent. And high up in a pine tree, a shadow, one of something almost human, began to crawl slowly downwards.
Last edited by мосна on Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Mood box wrote:Mood: Ill, so replies and stuff will be slow. Sorry guys!
Current addiction: It's rather obvious... But for the incredibly slow, my current addiction is the type of coffee called a mocha.
Status: Sports day yesterday (25th June) I got attacked by a bike D:
Listening to: Paramore, on my slightly broken MP3.
~There are all kinds of courage. It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.~
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Re: Nameless story, suggestions welcome!

Postby мосна » Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:31 am

Bump!
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Mood box wrote:Mood: Ill, so replies and stuff will be slow. Sorry guys!
Current addiction: It's rather obvious... But for the incredibly slow, my current addiction is the type of coffee called a mocha.
Status: Sports day yesterday (25th June) I got attacked by a bike D:
Listening to: Paramore, on my slightly broken MP3.
~There are all kinds of courage. It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.~
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Re: Nameless story, suggestions welcome!

Postby Placebo Effect » Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:44 am

Breathless~ No idea why just thought it was a cool name... * chuckles at my madness*
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................................................................

granddad, even though
you are no longer with us
physically, you'll always be
in my heart. i miss you.

08 / 07 / 2013
................................................................

my deviantart
save the arctic
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Re: Nameless story, suggestions welcome!

Postby мосна » Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:49 am

I like that namey idea :D My friend wants me to actually call it 'Nameless story'.
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Mood box wrote:Mood: Ill, so replies and stuff will be slow. Sorry guys!
Current addiction: It's rather obvious... But for the incredibly slow, my current addiction is the type of coffee called a mocha.
Status: Sports day yesterday (25th June) I got attacked by a bike D:
Listening to: Paramore, on my slightly broken MP3.
~There are all kinds of courage. It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.~
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Posts: 9860
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Re: Nameless story, suggestions welcome!

Postby мосна » Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:26 am

I've changed it a bit and added some on. The next chapter will be coming soon.
Image
Mood box wrote:Mood: Ill, so replies and stuff will be slow. Sorry guys!
Current addiction: It's rather obvious... But for the incredibly slow, my current addiction is the type of coffee called a mocha.
Status: Sports day yesterday (25th June) I got attacked by a bike D:
Listening to: Paramore, on my slightly broken MP3.
~There are all kinds of courage. It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.~
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мосна
 
Posts: 9860
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Re: Nameless story, suggestions welcome!

Postby мосна » Thu Feb 23, 2012 8:33 pm

Second chaptery part...


"Up"
A harsh voice roused Carla. She sat up and immediately cried out in pain. She carefully reached a hand to the side of her head. It was heavily bandaged in a coarse and quite scratchy material. She winced as her hand came into contact with the material.
"You smashed it when you landed, right after you cut your knee" The same harsh voice explained.
Knee? thought Carla. She shifted the sheets and noticed that her knee was bandaged in a slightly blood-stained material. It was the same as the stuff on her head, she guessed. "Wh... What happened?" she mumbled groggily. She looked around the small cabin where she was layed. It had wooden walls and a wooden roof lined with... someting Carla couldn't name. She looked around again and finally found the owner of the harsh voice. It was a tall, young man, with slightly spiked brown hair and green eyes. He was wearing some sort of tunic, made out of mismatch bits of blue, green and brown material. "You collapsed, right after your friend was taken" the man spat out the last word.
"Wait, I don't know you. I'm stuck in a strange man in a strange house and have absolutely no idea how I got here. Who are you?" Carla asked, feeling angry all of a sudden.
Image
Mood box wrote:Mood: Ill, so replies and stuff will be slow. Sorry guys!
Current addiction: It's rather obvious... But for the incredibly slow, my current addiction is the type of coffee called a mocha.
Status: Sports day yesterday (25th June) I got attacked by a bike D:
Listening to: Paramore, on my slightly broken MP3.
~There are all kinds of courage. It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.~
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Posts: 9860
Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 2:57 am
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