~Bits of writing~ Zombies, Warriors, etc (Critiques please)

[BaronBlue]

Go to last story for German warriors cat!!
I'm posting a few partially written stories that i've typed over the years, most of them are very short or I never finished them, there are a few fanfics but 99% are my own characters and story lines. If you see a story you like, feel free to request I continue it.
Also, PLEASE, please, critique my stories. Thank you for reading!
I also do RP's but I tend to get busy or go on trips where I can't actively RP. :C

~~Zombies~~

(this is a part of a story, theres much more of it written including before and after this part)
(they are currently in a mall, in case youre wondering)
Wolfe pulled his cigarette out of his mouth and watched dully as he put it out with his fingers before flicking it into the trash.
“Everybody should go to sleep. I’m sure you’ve all had a rough day” He said looking around at all the people in the room before going to his bed.
“Imma take a shower an’ shut the lights off . I’m keepin’ watch t’night so ya’ll can sleep good knowin ain’t nothing gonna git cha.” Duke beamed and rested his bat on his shoulder as he spoke then turned and sauntered off toward the elevator.
Everyone moved around getting their beds the way they liked until the lights shut off leaving the place pitch black. Tigress vigilantly watched the beds until they were all still then left to join Duke downstairs.
~~3:14 a.m~~
Downstairs, Duke had settled near the large fountain leaning on a pillar but was drifting asleep despite how badly he wanted to make sure everyone stayed safe. Tigress, who was lazing by his feet, raised her head, her ears pricked attentively, and she growled.
The noise ripped him out of the sleep he hadn’t gotten to yet, and he jolted awake fumbling for his flashlight. He pointed it at the long row of glass doors that the tiger was staring at.
“Ya’ see somethin’ I don’t?”
A shrill shriek nearly made him drop his flashlight. Was that one a them hoodie things? Naw they don’t just make noise for the fun of it. Then he saw the girl running past the doors followed by a mass of infected. He grabbed his bat and rushed to the door. The girl tripped.
“Git up! Run!” He yelled out to her; his blue eyes glowing with concern .
She noticed and looked up then stumbled to the doors trying to get them open.
“No No!! Head to the side! Theres a door! I’ll meet ya there!” He pointed to the side with his bat.
The girl nodded, followed by a scream as an infected grabbed for her. She dodged the grasping hands and ran out of sight. He took off towards the garage entrance, barreling through that door, which was luckily already partially open, he jumped the ramp rail up to the back entrance door with an ‘Employee only’ sign stuck to it. He shoved on the door to open it, looking down wide eyed with confusion when it didn’t open immediately. He quickly noticed the bar holding the door shut. He threw it off with no effort despite how heavy it probably was and was halfway out the door before it fell to the concrete with a loud, echoing CLANG.

[BaronBlue]

~Family Ties~

People stared, family stared, his parents stared as they carried the coffin past. They hadn’t wanted to have a funeral for their failure of a child, but it would look bad if they had one for their other two children and not him. The mother looked at the father and cried. They felt their was something wrong with the blue haired child the moment he was born, that was why they tried to get rid of him before anyone knew he was born, but fate stopped them from doing so.
The three coffins were laid next to each other, they would remain closed, the bodies were deemed unsuitable for an open coffin funeral. The story was that their youngest went insane and killed their children before committing suicide.
“But they were full of [censored]…” Whispered a voice that should’ve never been heard again.
A terrible rapping started in one of the coffins as it shook violently. The top was smashed off and a corpse fell out.
His mother cursed his existence. His father hadn’t even acknowledged his existence.

Despite how much everyone loathed him, he wasn’t quite ready to follow his siblings.

The people stood, staring horrified at what they were seeing. Beyond Death was rising from the dead, incorrect, he had never died.
“I never fancied the thought of being buried alive, even if I was unconscious.” He held onto his brothers coffin as he forced his numb legs to hold him up. Once steady, his eyes scanned across all of the faces around him with barely any emotion.
“Y-you demon child.”
His ears perked and he looked at his mother with a smile, like she had just correctly answered a question “Ding.”
The sudden satanic aura startled the people in the room and a few even collapsed from the pressure. A split second later three people busted through the windows of the large room; a girl with long, bright flame colored hair that shone like gold, tied in a long ponytail, slicing pale blue eyes, small curved animal ears along with a long tail. Just behind her were two males, tall, lean, both with raven hair, one cut just above his shoulders the other cut to only a quarter inch on one side, long and fluffed out on the other , one with threatening golden eyes and the other with bright baby blue eyes, looking at their faces they were obviously related, twins even.
The three landed watching the crowd, the woman had an almost victorious look, the amber eyed male simply looked irritated and the blue eyed male watched them all individually with hunger gleaming in his eyes.
The female spoke, with a startlingly male voice, “I heard you mortals were picking on my brother. I love my kin just like you love yours, so I’m sure you can imagine how if feel.”
“You demons can’t love!” One man hissed.
Sharp aqua blue eyes snapped to him, “Are you calling me a lair?”

[BaronBlue]

~Beyond's Ghost~

“So... you want to fight me.” The form sits quietly for a moment before locking eyes with him and finishing, “I wont.”
“What are you-?” In the middle of his sentence his words catch in his throat and he collapses, out cold.
~~~~~~~
He wakes up to the sound of a phone vibrating next to him. His eyes open and the first thing he sees in a dusty old wooden ceiling,. He sits up and looks around. This isn’t a place he’s ever been before, its all... Old. As if he’d gone back in time to when people still built houses out of wood they chopped down themselves. He looks at the phone and picks it up, there is only static and faint giggling; a kid must’ve taken her moms phone and called him by accident. He closes the phone and looks at it, it isn’t his phone but it definitely doesn’t look like it belongs in this house. He feels for his own phone and notices it missing so he puts the one he picked up in his pocket. He wanders around the room for a few minutes looking through the nightstand, closet and dresser, but they were mostly empty besides clothes ruined from age and some illegible papers. He walks into the hall and opens the first door to his right; a bathroom, he flips the light switch but the lights don’t seem to work. He stands there for a moment then flushes the toilet just to amuse himself before walking off down the hall. He turns around a corner only to have a decrepit old woman grab him by the shoulders, a ghostly shriek like air through a tight space. He lets out a howl of surprise and shakes the woman off. No longer holding him, she seems to be pulled back by some invisible force; she reaches out to him with a look of pure terror before fading out.
He stands stunned in the hallway before calming himself down and deciding to continue on. He opens the door and walks in what looks like a storage room. He opens the closest box and peeks in; baby dolls... Creepy. He walks to the next door, a Japanese style sliding door, and tugs on the doors; the first one doesn’t budge and the second only gives an inch. He frowns and looks around the room, spotting a flashlight on the floor. He picks it up and switches it on, pointing the beam of light through the small crack in the door. He peeks through and looks around as best he can. The first thing he notices in a boy sprawled awkwardly on the floor; then another boy with navy hair standing beside him. Something falls and he turns away from the door to look at it, a cute little black cat doll. He looks at it curiously for a moment before looking through the door again.
His breath catches and his heart starts to pound rapidly. The navy haired boy is staring straight at him now, his glowing cat-like eyes, one blue and one yellow, red from crying. His mouth opens as if he was wailing and he falls to his knees, seconds later the sound of a bloodthirsty roar of hatred blasts through the door knocking him backwards onto his butt. He looks up and sees the boy standing right on the other side of the door, fighting to wrench it open, his face twisted into a sort of sorrowful fury; black veins leak through the crack in the door and the boy begins to glow, filling the whole room with a dreadful red light. The boy is staring directly at him, eyes wide but not seeing anything., the door making a terrible racket as the boy struggles with it, the veins making a terrible crackling sound as if they were burning.
Then it was gone, everything, the boy, the veins the noise. He gazed horrified at the door, now tightly shut.
“What... Was that...”

[BaronBlue]

~reserved~

[BaronBlue]

~Thieving Humans~

A small animalistic shriek cut through the dusk air.
The noise came from a small boy crouched on the ground among the ruined city, 8 maybe with cherry red hair that gently curled down his back, it was dirty from years of not being properly cleaned and his bangs hung down over his bright baby blue eyes in loose clumps. Across the bridge of his nose was a strange blue marking that branched out like veins across his cheeks. His hands were armed with wicked sharp claws and as he opened his mouth to let out another call fangs showed as well.
He paused scanning the area with terrified eyes, his brother had been stolen by the humans, and no matter how diligently he searched he couldn’t find any trace of him. After a moment of searching and mulling over the memory of his brother being taken he sat back on his haunches and let out a mournful wail that tapered off into a whine. He blankly watched a mouse dart for cover, having been startled by his cry. His eyes remained fixed on the spot the mouse vanished, to dazed with grief to bother looking anywhere else.
He hadn’t noticed he’d fallen asleep until he woke up. A huge, bright light trained on him, blinding him and causing horrible pain to his light sensitive eyes. After a moment his mind rebooted and the sound of helicopter blades chopping the air made him panic and scramble back into a pile of old cardboard boxes. The light faded as the helicopter lowered to the ground. He heard feet shuffling and some other noise he couldn’t pick out over the sound of the churning air. However, at the moment the blades stopped he recognized the sounds of the humans talking.
Humans.
His lips curled back and his throat constricted from the sheer amount of spite that word brought him. He launched himself from the spot he was crouched letting out a terrifyingly viscous shriek as he soared straight at one of the men. Before any of them could grasp the situation he was tearing the throat out of the human he’d landed on.
“Here it is!”
The human’s voice sent him deeper into his downward spiral of hatred. His head whipped around, slinging the fresh blood that covered his face onto the cement. It took only a fraction of a second for him to judge his distance and leap at the human with deadly precision. The man fell to the ground with the boy’s fangs fastened into his neck. This time he was struck hard in the head making him release the man with a furious howl of pain. He heard his attacker moving for another hit and leapt clear of the butt of the gun. He stood and locked eyes with the man snarling with unimaginable, inhuman fury.
Another man fired at him and he crouched then launched forward knocking the gun easily from the mans hands.
“This is my territory! Get out!”
A man dropped from the sky startling all of them. He was huge easily 7ft, with long pale blonde hair slicked back out of his face, his dark blue eyes were dull as if there was no soul behind them but he looked angry all the same.
“You’ve got a lot of nerve coming straight to us Mizuki!”
“You’ve got a lot of nerve assuming I’m supposed to be afraid of you little s***s!” He pointed his arm in the mans direction and a furious, crackling red fire burst to life on the unfortunate man.
Another man took the opportunity to rush at him from the side, which Mizuki didn’t notice due to his failing eyesight until he was to close. However, the movement caught his attention and he turned to counter the man, but his opponent was closer than he thought and a searing pain on his face caused him to bust into a string of curses. The man had successfully managed to cut him with the serrated hunting knife leaving a deep, ragged gash diagonally across his face.
“We’ve got the boy lets go!”
The other men had wrestled the wild boy into a metal box in their helicopter and gotten onto the helicopter themselves.
Sadly for the man fighting Mizuki, he was to far away from the helicopter to get on before the blonde demon snatched up by the collar of his uniform and set him ablaze. Seeing no chance of saving their man the helicopter took off.

[BaronBlue]

~~~Warriors~~~

Honeydapple backed against the large oak, her honey colored eyes blazing with anger and her brown pelt fluffed out. A few scratches where etched through her fur but nothing serious.
“This is the meeting place! We can’t fight here!” She hissed.
The brown tabby tom stepped towards her, his orange eyes amused. “I can fight wherever I want, clan cat.” He replied smugly.
The blonde tabby cat a few steps behind him gazed up at the oak with a calm contemplating look.
They all paused, hearing quiet pawsteps over the rough breeze. A pair of ice blue eyes pierced the three of them as a tall, broad shouldered figure slipped out of the shadows, his sleek fur shining silver under the moon’s light.
Frozen under the fierce stare of the large tom they had no time to react as muscles rippled under silver fur and the powerful cat launched himself on top of the tabby tom. White claws and fangs tore through tabby pelt as the young tom fought furiously for his life, but he was no match for the beast above him and his efforts weakened until they stopped all together. The blonde rouge stared with wide amber eyes, baffled by the turn of events. His expression slowly calmed to understanding then he took a few uncertain steps back before dashing into the darkness of the forest.
Honeydapple watched, frozen, as the blue eyed eyed beast raised his head from the still form beneath him, drawing his tongue over his lips to rid them of blood.
“W-who are you?” Honeydapple choaked, her pale fur bristling with fear.
“Volfsong.” The tom answered simply.
“Are you going to kill me?” She asked, better to ask now right?
His eyes sank to the body below him then back to her as he slowly shook his head. “No.”

(His name is Wolfsong, but he has german accent :3)

[Betta132]

All very good! Are you going to continue any?

[BaronBlue]

Thank you very much~ You have no idea how happy I am to hear you liked them.~<3
I actually have plot lines and such rough drafts written for some of them where i've already written a bit more, I just have so many started that I can't decide which ones to continue on.

[BaronBlue]

~bump~

[BaronBlue]

~bump~