"c l o c k s . "

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"c l o c k s . "

Postby plantiie » Sat Feb 11, 2012 10:34 am

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T i c k.

"Ma," Tick said, his voice loud in my ears, "Ma, Jet's poking me again." I move my hand from above my little brothers belly, messing up his dirty blonde hair then folding my fingers in my lap. My eyes wander the old room, just trying to pass the time before I hear my mothers footsteps coming down the hall. When she does enter shes wearing goggles and a brow apron stained with grease over top of an off white blouse and ankle-length brown skirt.
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Re: "c l o c k s . "

Postby cup of cocoa » Sat Feb 11, 2012 10:56 am

I like the creativity of the post.
The only thing I don't understand is why Jet underneath Tick in the first place? I think it just needs more elaboration. ^^"
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Re: "c l o c k s . "

Postby plantiie » Sat Feb 11, 2012 10:57 am

(?)
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Re: "c l o c k s . "

Postby cup of cocoa » Sat Feb 11, 2012 11:13 am

"Ma, Jet's poking me again." I move my hand from above my little brothers belly, messing up his dirty blonde hair then folding my fingers in my lap.


That is what I mean, above. Well, rather than that, the story seems interesting. X3 Sorry, just thought I'd give some feedback of some sort. Sorry if I sounded like I was critiquing harshly or something.
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I stream at twitch.tv/cuppofcocoa !
hullo! I am cocoa. I am more active
on PokeFarm Q, so feel free to contact
me there if you need anything c:
{ join and get 1 free rare OR 20 C$! } | { trading pets + C$ for PFQ }
{ cs shop + looking for 2014 halloween foxes } | { avatar credit }
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