Dear Journal (The Diary Of An (Almost) Normal Dog.)

[ZombiePoodle]

Dear Bob,

I have nothing much to say yet...we are hiding in a hollow tree.
I think the 'DUDE' (yeah that's what I'm calling him for now.)
Anyways, I think the DUDE has stopped following us. But we will take no more chances.
Okay, Tyler's looking at me wierd again, I must put you down so I can tell him that you are not a diary, but a simple journal.
NOT DIARY.
Okay, you might acctually be a diary if we had to make this technical...

~CAR

[ZombiePoodle]

Dear Bob,

Tyler went home...like, yeah.

Okay, so I got to school today, y'know, and most the kids, and the teacher were back.
But you know what?
That creepy DUDE was there.
The teacher introduced him as Faust Kempis.
Okay, call me paranoid, but I hope he's not a magician who sold his soul to the devil. I would not put it past him.
Oh...yeah, I say that because there was some kinda magician dude who sold his soul to the devil...I don't really know...Learned about it in some book.
Uuuh, and he SITS NEXT TO ME.
It totally sucks mickydee's chicken nuggets.
He's such a stalker.
I like, turn down the hall and he's there, like, standing like a statue in the middle of the hall. So I'd turn to walk down the longer hall, and somehow he'd be right there. He's Kreepy with a capital K.
Tyler was a little lessed freaked than I was, but he's still nervous.

I gtg Bob.
TTYL.
Dude...

~CAR

[ZombiePoodle]

Dear Bob,

Omg.
I mean, OMG.
Creeper DUDE.
He's like...worse then spiders.
And spiders--Yuck. Icky. Eeeeww. Eeeeh. I dunno.

I swear, that DUDE is everywhere.
At lunch, he was sitting at a table across from me, watching me like a CREEPER.
And when I was locking up the school with mom, I coulda sworn I'd seen him in the middle of the road. But then he like, WHAM! Hit by a car.
And man, did he go flying or what!?
Creepy right?
Then we were driving home, and I saw this bunny, I swear it had Faust's face on it. IT WERE CREEPY.

By the way, happy Earth Day.
Uh yeah!

Ummm...oh, yeah, then I was walking to Emmie's house for, like, no reason, just to hang out, I saw Faust again, he was driving a semi-truck and he littered.
ON EARTH DAY!
Okay, I know the semi-truck driving seems a little crazy, but seriously, it was him.
Please don't take me to the crazy farm....Please please please....
Oh, then Emmie and I were in her backyard playing catch, and I swear the ball turned into his head for a second.
I know, that is way far-fetched and I think I'm going crazy, but I DON'T KNOW.
So I walked back home and of course, there he was again, pushing a baby in a stroller.
And the baby littered, ON EARTH DAY!
Where the heck did he get a baby? ON EARTH DAY?!
Because then...yes I know this sounds crazy, but I looked at the baby, and it had HIS FACE.
And no, he's not old enough to have a baby, IT WERE HIM.
Then I looked at a porch as I went past this house, there was this old lady in a rocking chair, she was knitting, but then she turned into HIM.
But it was kinda funny because he was still wearing her dress. And knitting.

Then I crossed a bridge over a small river, and a fish jumped up. I swear it had Faust's face.
I'm throughly creeped.
Because you know what else, this big lady with a huge butt was walking down the sidewalk...and her BUTT turned into his HEAD. I would rather not tell you that her head became his butt for a second.
What else!?! A bird'll fly over and poop out his face?
OMG. It happened.
Like, eeeeewww.
And then this stick bug landed on my shirt...it HAD HIS FACE. It looked like a little stick man/dog thing. Eeeghh.
Aaaahghhhhghgh.
Andyways, I totally freaked and almost killed the thing.
Then it was getting dark out...the moon was full and suddenly IT HAD HIS FACE.
Even the stars--HAD HIS FACE
How many times do I have to say that?
You, Bob, had his face when I got home, it took me an hour to start writing in you so everyone will know who killed me when I dissapear.
No, not CREEPER.
Me.
What? I'm going crazy. You don't think I'll kill myself? Yeeeah, you're prolly right...
I even walked past a HUNKA JUNK with flys all over it, and IT HAD HIS FACE!
And the Faust-faced flys were CREEPERS.
So I went to sit on the couch, it didn't have his face till I sat down. But it was there. Like, eeewww, he sniffed my BUTT.
And the TV totally caught me off gaurd too.
His face is everywhere!

This morning I was walking down the street to get on the bus.
The stop sign HAD HIS FACE.
(Red is totally not his color.)
Then the bus, you guessed it, HAD HIS FACE.
It was like, the Faust-mobile or somethin.
But what else? The bus DOORS had his face too.
And he does not look all that hot cut in two.

I AM FREAKED.
I have to go get Tyler to save meh.

~CAR
PS. OMG everyone in school turned into him for second...And someone's backpack too.
And my sandwich.
Eeecckk.
MAN, this guy is like, FAMOUS!!

PPS.
Eeeeewww he's in Cody's taco. Eatin' the lettus. Duuuuuude...
I think I'm going to go barf out a Faust face now...
BYE.

~CAR

[ZombiePoodle]

Dear Bob,

Soooo, I'm pretty sure I'm done halucinating.
Gaaah, can't spell.
Anyways, I had to go home sick because of the Faust faces everywhere.
I think it was part of that whole thing where everyone was home sick monday, like, Dad says that Tosha and Ian were both having terrible waking nightmare thingys.
Well, at least, I think it was dad. He kinda had Faust's face....
Creeeepy.
And so, yeah.
Yeah...
I kept seeing him everywhere...like, on the walls and in the closet.
Freeeeeakky.
And he was outside my window too.
And in the mirror.
I've got to hide under my covers now, he's back in the closet and under the bed.
I'm scccarrred.

Oh, yay, happy almost Easter!

C'ya.

Is totally creeped out, he in the tree in the yard. He looks...like, full. He's like not part of the tree or anything like that...
Ohhhhh-kay! I think I'm going to go see what Tosha is halucinating about now.
Prolly spiders or her boyfriend breaking up with her.
Maybe it's some snakes.
I'll just have to go ask her...
DUDE. Faust is a creeper.
CrrrreeeeeepER.

Andddd...yeah.

OMG. GTG.

~CA_$+_&#@

[ZombiePoodle]

Hi Bob,

Oh, hey, look, I said hi instead of dear.
I'm so wierd.

I'm done halucinating now.
Like, I haven't seen Faust except for at school. And, well, he was the stop sign again, (and man, I will kill him if I ever see him wear somthing red. Seriously, not his color) but that was it. Gone now! Yay!
Be happy for me Bob! Let's go blow up a supermarket and make s'mores with the fire-y distruction!
I mean, let's go make some s'mores.
Ehhh...

I just found out that that spawn of the Devil dog, Susan (y'know, Rella's friend?) Well, she's dating Danny now. I mean, I'm over him. Our relationship wasn't all that serious.
I barely even knew him, he just like, passed me note...
Uhhhhuhhh.
I'm still kinda mad though.
Like, KINDA mad.
No Bobby, not enought to kill.
I hope.

And um, there's these new kids at school, Vance and his sister NightTime Lulaby. (everyone just calls her Lul)
Vance is kinda cute....He came to school, and was like, instantly popular. He hangs out with Tyler and a bunch of his friends. Lul became friends with Clair. She's actually pretty cool. She has a crush on Tyler's brother, Alexander.
Have I mentioned him before? I dunno.
Anyways, I have a plan.
We (Clair, Emmie, Cody, Lul, and I) are all going over to out house and Tyler and Vance are coming too. (Cause like, Tyler's friends with my brothers and stuff, and Vance has nothing else to do) so I'm going to get Levi to call Alex over. Oh, and I guess Ray is coming again (Remember him?) So yeash, big partay of peeps.
We're all walking to my house together.
Let's see, there's Clair, Vance, Cody, Tyler, Emmie, Lul, Ian, Ray, Levi, Tosha.
Wow.
Anyways, we're leaving now. I have to go before I get left behind.

~CAR

[ZombiePoodle]

Bob.

I have exactly 30...no, wait, 28....27...26...25...24--anyways, second to write in you.
Our plan, now named The Lul Dating Alex Plan of Awesome Tacos With Chocolate Sauce Total Epic Plan, is kinda taking an ackward turn because Emmie is all googly at Levi, and Clair was kinda googling at Ian (since when? OMG Sssssnake word again...) And, I admit it, I was a bit googly-eyed at Vance. And Tyler. Gosh, I'm all messed up when it comes to boys. Them and their da---RN hotness.
So yes, total disaster.
But---Oooh, gtg.

~CAR

[ZombiePoodle]

OMG, Bob.

So like, Ray is kinda wierd.
He keeps flirting with me.
It's actually kinda fun to flirt back with him, even though my friends keep looking at me wierdly.
I have decided that I'm going to like, ban boyfriends from my life for like, the next two years. I have no need for them. It's so confusing. I will be a bachlorette for a while! Yeah, crazy partays with my friends...who seem to be making my stupid brothers fall for them. This is a toatl suckfest. I cannot be the only bechlorette. Will you go out with me Bob? You can be my boyfriend! I can toastaly pretend thet you're Bob from my dream (y'know, the one I named you after?)
Nooo, cause then you'd be all protective of me and kill Ray in his sleep, just for flirting.
You are creepy Bob.
Anyways, Tyler seems a little edge, avioding Ray as much as possible and scowling when he flirts with me.
Maybe he kinda likes me? Tyler I mean. Ray must totaly be joking around. But let me tell you, he is totally getting under Levi's fur. That dog is like, steaming at the ears and nose and emmiting some type of train engine sound. Whoootshhh whoootshhh!
Okay, now Ray's just kinda freaking me out. Like, seriously. He's soooo weird. I think he thinks I like him. Shooot, I hope he doesn't ask me out in front of everyone, so I don't have to emmbarass him.
Okay, I have to go take these lemonades out to everyone before someone comes looking for me.
Oops, too late, here comes Tyler...

Wish me luck Bob.
As if.

~<3C
~<3A
~<3R
~<3M
~<3E
~<3N

~<3V.

[ZombiePoodle]

Oh no Bob.

I have decided that you are now aloud to kill Ray.
He's like a total wierdo.
Why do my brothers even hang out with him?
Oooh...wait, I guess they're wierdo's too huh?
Anyways, he's like, started calling me things like 'Girly' and 'Little Lady' and 'Missy' and 'Hottie' and--Do I have to go on?
I think Tyler has decided that he doesn't like Ray. Since coming to help me take the lemonade out, he's been like, hanging around me a bit, and even growls everytime Ray calls me something over than my name (see above rant re: Ray calling me 'names')
It's kinda sweet.
And does it mean that he likes me?
I have no idea.
But seriously, it was way funny, because we were all hanging out at the edge of the pool (have I mentioned that we have a pool?) anyways...We weren't swimming because it's a bit cold out still, but we were just hanging and like, Ray was being all sickly sweet to me, and I was tempted to punch his sorry face but I didn't and like, I'm rambling aren't I?
And so, when Ray called me 'Hottie' again, Tyler got up and pushed him in the pool, yelling "You're it!"
And so Ray got out and chased after Tyler. Naturaly.
Ugh, boys.
He pushed Tyler down hard to the ground and I cringed a bit, but Ty just got back up and ran for all of us at the pool, he tagged Emmie and Clair screeched, hopping up and running outa there.
Uhoh, Emmie's comeing this way, I'll have to get to the oak and write in you there.

~CAR

Lol, I'm bored so I've written a lot.

Does anyone even read this? CX

[christine-marie]

! I do! It's great! :3

[ZombiePoodle]

Aww, thanks ^^