✎ - journal

[lovestruck]

hard work
sweat and tears
never giving up on your dreams
the ingredients of greatness

[lovestruck]

they’re quick to act
when I say I have nobody
but they’re liars
where are they-
when I need a shoulder to cry on?
when I need somebody, anybody
when I’m holding back a flood of tears
yet if I were gone
they’d say how much they loved me
how much they missed me
liars
they never care untill you’re gone.

[lovestruck]

I’m so tired
and there’s nobody here
to lend me a shoulder to cry on
nobody here
who cares whether I die or live on

[lovestruck]

I never realized,
that you were here along
when I was crumbling
you put me back together again,
but took none of the credit

[lovestruck]

alone
im so alone

alone
I’m not alone
your hand is at play
you lead me from the darkness
telling me-
I will be ok

[lovestruck]

why is a compliment so easily denied
whilst every critique,
every negatory comment,
it seeps into every thought in my head,
untill I’m overwhelmed with the
not enoughs,
the imperfections

in a world where we only see the highlights of others lives-
our very sanity snatched away by comparison-
how could I possibly believe
that I am perfectly imperfect

but you-
you show me how perfect I am
how you made every curve-
every line, every hair on my head
and you tell me
that I am perfectly imperfect

[lovestruck]

its funny to me how this started out as a journal of sorts, and just slowly transitioned into poetry, or verses I suppose. I think the raw emotion.. explaining is just something I can’t do without some sort of art form. I can’t convey these feelings in any other way.

I also,, never realized how long I’ve been faithful? And I’ve realized that although they were hard, so many of the things that happened to me have brought me closer to God, and it’s so, SO worth it. People who haven’t found him wont understand reading this, I’m sure- but the feeling of faith- it’s just so so incredible. I’m just overcome with this joy every time I think about it, and I see my prayers answered time and time again. I have this reason to keep pushing, I have this hope when I’m down- but most of all I always know I’m not alone.

[lovestruck]

my heart aches
having crushes isn’t fun anymore when they’re in love with someone
when you see them together and every little bit of hope you may have had is diminished
as you’re brought back
to reality

[lovestruck]

I will be ok
I will keep my head above the water
take it one step at a time-
i can’t wait to cross that finish line
the doubters, those who left me
they will see me soar
and I wail be okay

[lovestruck]

The seas have calmed
The fires have dwindled
I am okay.
The weight is gone
The worst is done
I am okay.

You’ve sheltered me from the storm
You’ve led me from the dark
Kept me on the path
I am okay.
You make me
o k a y