one word was all it took to leave her frozen in place, unable to even fix the hood of her cloak that fell from her head. for some reason, she knew that voice. no words, nor names, nor anything, but the sound. the sound of the voice, of it saying her name... it was familiar.
oh, oh my- mallory! mallory dear, come here!
that's her? are you sure?
of course I'm sure; a mother knows her daughter! I could never forget those eyes..
*that's her mother? that's our big sis? she's so pretty*—<mother I'm hungry; lets all go home already. I'll even give her some of my favorite cookies>
everyone, be quiet! she's-
for a moment she stopped breathing all together, before suddenly begin to hyperventilate. the voices blurred together as she fell into a mild panic. all she wanted to do was run, run as far as her legs would carry her. but she was frozen, shaking in place. it hurt, it hurt to hear them. it hurt to see them. it hurt so much.
'this- this was a bad idea—I should never have come here; I should never ha- have come. I- I can't; I can't..'
she began to tune in as she suddenly realized two things; one, she was curled up on the ground, her cloak thrown aside and hair askew, and two, someone was very close. she didn't recognize the voice, but could accurately assume that it was her 'father'.
-kay. it's okay to be afraid. everything's going to be okay now. we can't even begin to imagine how you've felt through all this, but god were we overjoyed to hear from you. hey- hey there; breath with me please. breath in for six seconds, hold- yes, like that, release for six seconds, hold, and breath in again...
that went on for a few minutes before her breathing leveled to something more manageable, the only fluctuations coming in the form of soft hiccups and small sniffles. she wiped at her face, wondering when she had started to cry, and why she hadn't stopped. she never cried. then again, she had never really acknowledged her sadness before had she? nothing compared to being abandoned to such a terrible place, and she never really thought to much into the emotions surrounding that until recently.
we're so sorry mallory; we're so sorry. when we found out about you- no. when I found out about you, I was so scared. I was so scared of having a kit so young, scared of what my family and your mother's would think, would say. its no excuse, I should never have turned my back on you both. I realized that, in time, but it was a year too late. we went searching for you, but they had no record of where you went, how long you'd been there.. we were so angry at the orphanage for not keeping any paper record of you... we've been searching ever since then, we're so happy that you're alive.
it was then that she remembered the last few words she caught of the maid from their first meeting. she had run out before the story was finished, and now she was beginning to realize she had missed some vital information. had she only listened then, she wouldn't be here having to face them now. she could've never had to meet them. to see their faces. to hear what they had to say.
she honestly couldn't have said what would be worse before then, if they had tried to deny what happened, deny her, or blame her, or what they were doing now. owning up to it, earnestly apologizing...
she didn't want to forgive them. she didn't want to pretend that it hadn't ever happened... besides, what would even happen now? its not as if she'd ever see them again, because she'd rather not see them at all if these sparse meetings would be all that it'd be. it took her a few moments to realize that their voices had stopped, and that she had been saying things out loud.
pushing herself up from the ground, she was prepared to make a quick retreat, before she found herself being hugged by her 'father', then her 'mother', and then her two 'little siblings'. she tensed, her breathing remaining normal but her eyes widening before she cooled her expression and forced the tears to stop.
“let go of me. I've changed my mind, I don't want to be here. I don't want to see you, any of you. it doesn't- it doesn't matter what you have to say. I don't- I; let me go.”
mallory dear I've made many mistakes in my life, but none as great as when I let you go all those years ago. please, all we want to do is to talk for now. we want you in our lives, we want to know you... if you give us the chance, we wont ever let you go again. we promise, with all our hearts we promise. we'll do anything; anything you want, you only need to ask and we'll get it for you.
this was all far to overwhelming, and she felt the panic begin to set in again. it was too much, too soon, and their embrace felt suffocating rather than comforting. she was ready in that moment to use her powers to push them away when suddenly she was released from the hold, the four pulling away and giving her a few feet of space. the face she cannot remember with the voice that feels like it came from a dream she had long ago paused, and nodded a little to herself before continuing.
at least say you'll think about it, please? I know its a lot to ask of you, I know your confused and angry and sad and you have every right to be. but please please promise me you;ll think about it. it doesn't matter how long it takes, if you ever want to speak to us, or ask anything of us, we'll be waiting for y-[/b]
okay. I'll think about it. if I- if I ever want to hear or see more, then I'll let you know.. perhaps for now, maybe we can exchange the odd letter or two through miss heartswell, if you'd like that is. we don't have to.
we'd love to mallory.
they said their goodbyes and then she was off, cloak around her shoulders, quickly disappearing into the distance. it wasn't much, and she wasn't sure she'd keep up contact for long but, it was a start.
oh, oh my- mallory! mallory dear, come here!
that's her? are you sure?
of course I'm sure; a mother knows her daughter! I could never forget those eyes..
*that's her mother? that's our big sis? she's so pretty*—<mother I'm hungry; lets all go home already. I'll even give her some of my favorite cookies>
everyone, be quiet! she's-
for a moment she stopped breathing all together, before suddenly begin to hyperventilate. the voices blurred together as she fell into a mild panic. all she wanted to do was run, run as far as her legs would carry her. but she was frozen, shaking in place. it hurt, it hurt to hear them. it hurt to see them. it hurt so much.
'this- this was a bad idea—I should never have come here; I should never ha- have come. I- I can't; I can't..'
she began to tune in as she suddenly realized two things; one, she was curled up on the ground, her cloak thrown aside and hair askew, and two, someone was very close. she didn't recognize the voice, but could accurately assume that it was her 'father'.
-kay. it's okay to be afraid. everything's going to be okay now. we can't even begin to imagine how you've felt through all this, but god were we overjoyed to hear from you. hey- hey there; breath with me please. breath in for six seconds, hold- yes, like that, release for six seconds, hold, and breath in again...
that went on for a few minutes before her breathing leveled to something more manageable, the only fluctuations coming in the form of soft hiccups and small sniffles. she wiped at her face, wondering when she had started to cry, and why she hadn't stopped. she never cried. then again, she had never really acknowledged her sadness before had she? nothing compared to being abandoned to such a terrible place, and she never really thought to much into the emotions surrounding that until recently.
we're so sorry mallory; we're so sorry. when we found out about you- no. when I found out about you, I was so scared. I was so scared of having a kit so young, scared of what my family and your mother's would think, would say. its no excuse, I should never have turned my back on you both. I realized that, in time, but it was a year too late. we went searching for you, but they had no record of where you went, how long you'd been there.. we were so angry at the orphanage for not keeping any paper record of you... we've been searching ever since then, we're so happy that you're alive.
it was then that she remembered the last few words she caught of the maid from their first meeting. she had run out before the story was finished, and now she was beginning to realize she had missed some vital information. had she only listened then, she wouldn't be here having to face them now. she could've never had to meet them. to see their faces. to hear what they had to say.
she honestly couldn't have said what would be worse before then, if they had tried to deny what happened, deny her, or blame her, or what they were doing now. owning up to it, earnestly apologizing...
she didn't want to forgive them. she didn't want to pretend that it hadn't ever happened... besides, what would even happen now? its not as if she'd ever see them again, because she'd rather not see them at all if these sparse meetings would be all that it'd be. it took her a few moments to realize that their voices had stopped, and that she had been saying things out loud.
pushing herself up from the ground, she was prepared to make a quick retreat, before she found herself being hugged by her 'father', then her 'mother', and then her two 'little siblings'. she tensed, her breathing remaining normal but her eyes widening before she cooled her expression and forced the tears to stop.
“let go of me. I've changed my mind, I don't want to be here. I don't want to see you, any of you. it doesn't- it doesn't matter what you have to say. I don't- I; let me go.”
mallory dear I've made many mistakes in my life, but none as great as when I let you go all those years ago. please, all we want to do is to talk for now. we want you in our lives, we want to know you... if you give us the chance, we wont ever let you go again. we promise, with all our hearts we promise. we'll do anything; anything you want, you only need to ask and we'll get it for you.
this was all far to overwhelming, and she felt the panic begin to set in again. it was too much, too soon, and their embrace felt suffocating rather than comforting. she was ready in that moment to use her powers to push them away when suddenly she was released from the hold, the four pulling away and giving her a few feet of space. the face she cannot remember with the voice that feels like it came from a dream she had long ago paused, and nodded a little to herself before continuing.
at least say you'll think about it, please? I know its a lot to ask of you, I know your confused and angry and sad and you have every right to be. but please please promise me you;ll think about it. it doesn't matter how long it takes, if you ever want to speak to us, or ask anything of us, we'll be waiting for y-[/b]
okay. I'll think about it. if I- if I ever want to hear or see more, then I'll let you know.. perhaps for now, maybe we can exchange the odd letter or two through miss heartswell, if you'd like that is. we don't have to.
we'd love to mallory.
they said their goodbyes and then she was off, cloak around her shoulders, quickly disappearing into the distance. it wasn't much, and she wasn't sure she'd keep up contact for long but, it was a start.
