username: reuxci
name: javen green
gender/pronouns:he/him, sometimes they
one time that this komo was disappointed: Dear, Sasha David-Green;
Javen Green. A child of wonders; a miracle. An absolute miracle and a blessing.
But you could say the real miracle was the desperation in which he put forward, hardly clinging on to what he had left of himself.
Javen was bipolar. Extremely so. And in his depressive episodes, he could feel himself slipping away. Javen knew who he was and he wasn't just his disorder.
Until the day Randy Green was arrested for arson, he had never had a manic episode.
And that's the day it came crumbling down.
Shoved to numerous doctors and hospitals, one thing was clear. Javen wasn't functioning like he should.
He was always treated like something he knew he wasn't. Everything seemed wrong to Javen, he couldn't think straight. Always
What's wrong with him? Is he okay? Dude, calm down. What is he doing?And the word.
Bipolar.
It haunted him, more than that haunting image of his father, being dragged away. His maniacal screams and that glare he gave Javen. The first time he had hit Javen. The time he had sat with Javen and told h-
"Javen, are you paying attention?"
It didn't matter now. Javen was 16, close to moving on with his life. He tapped his pencil against his desk and looked up. "Hm? Someone say my name..?"
Giggles erupted from the classroom.
"Yes, Mr. Green, that would be me." The teacher cleared his throat and resumed teaching.
The day was already going horribly. He couldn't wait to get home to his mom.
When Javen got home that day, his momma, Madison Green, was nowhere to be found. He wandered the house, searching for her, but signs of hope began to fade. A spark fluttered in his heart, however, when he heard a sob from outside.
"Hm? Mom?" he called. No response. He went outside and there she was; doubled over, crying.
"M-mom? You okay?"
"Oh, Javen.." She sniffled and stood up, and buried her head in Javen's chest. She was much shorter than he was, and he held her close. "What happened?" he asked softly. "Is everything alright?"
She wiped her nose and looked up at him. "Your dad."
"What about him?"
"Dead in prison. H-he, um, well, I don't really know what happened, no one does.. and I don't know why I'm crying. I guess part of me still loves him and me- I can't trust myself, Javen! How can I love a man like that?"
Javen's eyes went wide. "Dead in prison. Dead.. in prison." He tapped his finger on his mother's back, thinking for a few seconds, then pulled away. "Momma, it's okay. You know I miss him too, he's not - he wasn't.." Javen shook his head.
"Momma, go inside, okay? You get some rest. I'll go to the store, okay, get us some dinner. Call me if you need me, I'll be back soon, okay?"
And he never came back. Not for months. Not for years.
The search for Javen came to an end on 4/6/17 when he was found unconscious in a swamp. But the real Javen never came back, he went home, took care of his mother- but a part of him died the day his father was found dead in prison.
It is now 4/6/18. I am Javen Green, and I know that I'm not me. Something took over, and I'm writing this to tell you I won't be back for a long time. But I love you, and don't forget me. But don't wait for me. Move on, but never forget.
Keep me in your heart, keep this letter by the wardrobe, and know that you will forever be my one and only.
I can't pretend to be the old me, so it's past due that I find myself. I'm sorry to be such a let-down, and trust me when I say you're not the only one disappointed. I am too. That I couldn't be enough.
Love, Javen.[667/800]
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