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-I have been thought to be mean, rude, and a Hyenea to void
messing with. I'll admit, I can come off as mean and scary to
others but I'm simply trying to push them away. I'm not a fan of
being the center of attention and in crowds, and the way I act to
others helps me not be those. I am often avoided and left alone,
but I can be approached sometimes. Don't get me wrong though,
if someone pestered me but doesn't seem half bad, I wouldn't just
tell them off. I might not seem terribly nice but I guess I would
listen to what they have to say and allow them to stay. If I end up
not minding them then I don't mind them. However, most won't
really give me this chance and I really can't blame them. I don't
really give them a chance. I may listen to them and not tell them
off, or I might, but I never truly let them get to know me. I don't
really care either way though; pestered or not pestered, liked or
not liked. I'm just fine alone and I'm just fine in a small group of
one, two, or three. You could say I'm really just indifferent.
I haven't ever really had a 'friend' but I guess if I did, I would keep
them close to me and not want them hurt, emotionally or
physically. If someone was able to get close to me and I was
actually able to let them in, I suppose they would deserve to be
protected. If someone can break down my wall then I really do
think they deserve such. Honestly, the thought is sort of funny. I
have always been one to tell myself I'm just fine on my own and
I don't need others, but here I am thinking about how I would be
alright with someone if they truly understood me and could get to
me. None the less, I guess I'm still alright with it. The thought isn't
nearly as foreign to me now and I guess I don't mind anymore, if I
truly ever minded to begin with. Thinking about it more and
more, I really can't see myself with too many 'friends' that I would
consider close. I think less friends means the ones you do have are
even closer, and I can admit I am fairly fond of that thought and
will make note of it. The more and more I truly think about these
things, the more I am okay with it. I don't like others getting
close because of the thought of them betraying me, but I have to
learn to trust once again, eventually. I have to give others
another chance.