- Dropping out for the Lovelace Fawn.

Word count of 871 wrote:From the journal of Rider Gesparez, Senior Elkrin Handler of Bramblewood Township
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Time passed. It always does with such unfeeling speed – no cares for mortal matters, no pausing for significant moments.
I suppose memories must do instead.
The memories bombarded me now, like incorporeal cannonballs, and even Foetida finally let out a whispery moan of distress. I turned my rheumy eyes towards the Elkrin doe and, as always, lost myself within the crystalline depths of her gaze. Once I had retreated from her beguiling irises, I found that I was looking at her – looking at her – for what felt like the first time once again.
The way the lamp’s glow glistened off the tips of her wiry coat, with its hidden aurora-lights of verdant sprint-green…palest wintry-blue…warmest summer browns, all hidden unless you really looked.
How the spiraling single-stranded wreaths of thorny plants mysteriously grew about her limbs and plusher tail.
…how the beautiful milky-yellow rose still blossomed like a fallen star, speaking to her feminine nature that so easily hid behind her tough exterior.
Foetida interrupted my misty ponderings, her voice as strong and certain as always.
My opinions have not changed, Rider mine. I refuse to part with you for some gangly spawn of a city’s slums.
It was hard hearing how angry and hurt she was; she radiated a sense of being betrayed.
“Foetida…my late-bloomer…you must not go to him in such a mood. My time with you has ended and you must accept it.” I could barely find the strength to speak aloud. The rotting sickness in my lungs sapped my energy daily now; my own petals were falling quickly. “I will not see the coming spring. I have accepted this. You must accept this too.”
I REFUSE!!! My ears rang despite her having made no audible sound. Immediately, I felt her leaning her face against my cheek, shivering. My Rider…I am so sorry…forgive me…I didn’t mean to hurt you… I summoned my senses and placed my quivering hand upon her broad cheek.
“You will hurt me most if you do not go to him, Foetida. He needs you far more than I.” How could I make her understand…? They were so perfectly suited, this Matteo and my Foetida.
Both so prickly on the outside, but within…such gorgeous souls. Both buried by their past, both needing a heart-friend to nourish the strangled happiness within.
I don’t want to hurt you…but I’m afraid. The Elkrin doe hadn’t stopped her gentle nuzzling of my neck. It was where she went to hide from the world, to shed precious tears where no one else could mistake them for weakness; since she was a fawn, she had hidden her face within my hair.
For a moment, I was sorely tempted to take back everything I had explained to her over the last few days and nights. I could convince her to remain with me until the end of my days.
No…I wasn’t alone… I had my own children…and grandchildren, even. But Foetida…?
She would be alone when I left this world.
Unless…
“It is natural to be afraid. We have discussed this many times, my Foetida.” I felt another cough coming on and the Elkrin was quick to grab my handkerchief from the bedside-stand. After the wrenching tremors ceased and the tickling passed, I took another deep breath. “You cannot start a journey without taking a first step and sometimes, those first steps are very scary.”
Like the time we had to visit the Towering Falls and deliver a message for your brother. A laughter graced her voice now as she carefully settled down, folding her long legs beneath her. She was at the height where lying down allowed her to rest her head on my stomach. She still hadn’t grown into her ears…and the silver bell. I reached out and touched it gently, making the chime ring clearly through the room.
“Yes…like that,” I whispered with a fond smile. I realized then that she was stalling and shook my head slowly. Foetida knew and let out a slow sigh, the bright lights leaving her eyes like a stormy sky. “You will be alone unless you go to him, my late-bloomer… You must make me proud, Foetida. Make your tribe proud. Make your human family proud…” I felt the stealthy tendrils of sleep overcoming me and she began to blur as my eyelids fluttered. I cursed old age mightily within the confines of my mind.
I will make you proud, old briar-patch… I will never forget you… You will always be in my heart…
Her words echoed softly in my mind, like the falling leaves of the autumn, and I fell to sleep with the weight of her head on my chest.
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When I awoke next, it was twilight and the room felt very empty.
My Foetida had been the bravest she could be and left to seek her next Rider.
I prayed then that their friendship would blossom like the rose on her shoulder and it would glow as it once did…with me.
I end this journal with some regret, but it is not lingering. My happiness comes from knowing that my life is complete while another is just beginning.


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