Things That Amuse You [The Third Thread, for the record.]

[Vur Horston]

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12.. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13.. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17.. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

29.. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control



when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25.. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?



28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway ?

[Trexxa]

How when I get bored, I will do things I wouldn't normally do.. I am really addicted to this one cartoon on tv that my mom hates. So, since I'm bored, I went onto the website.. now I'm stuck playing this crazy game from the show

[Grengirl]

TE telling random jokes for nearly two hours after his shift was over, while still working!
My fav. was when he KGB'd A.
*gigglin'*

[gingertail98]

All the different birthday memes. I like the Hetalia one best XD

[Lupnia]

This amuses me:

http://nyanit.com/nyan.cat

Nyan-ception :3

[Veins Of Opal]

[Renegade.Starr]

Doin' this out of complete boredem.

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Yup. If it doesn't suck, it would just be a loud machine that scares pets.

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
I don't know! Ask it yourself!

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
We wouldn't. We would go on through life spelling it wrong, unless you are like super-smart.

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
I guess he made them up? I dunno. I not a psychologist.

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
A whack is this. *whacks with a piece of wood*

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Because they like to confuse people.

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
Because they like to confuse people!

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
They get lazy.

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
It's just a song! BUY ME SOME CRACKER JACKS! NOW!

10. Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?
Music stands aren't made for sitting; they're made for standing up music. Consession stands aren't made for sitting, either, but I dunno the real definition for their use.

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
What are you talking about?!

12.. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
I guess so.

13.. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
A man is usualy polite and smart and kind, and a guy is kinda...I dunno, this not mai job!

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
Umm...PIZZA!

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
Why does Dr. Phil look like Dr. Pill with a different letter,hm?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
Why are you asking me dum questions? Why can't I spell?

17.. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
The underworld!

18. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Naw. Mehbey. I dunno. WHY CAN'T I SPELL?

29.. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
One word; frustration.

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
Because people that invent things like to be confusing.

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
I dunno.

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Well, they get dirty when you throw them on the floor.

25.. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
I dunno, maybe they put like this wax stuff on the inside.

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
I DUNNO

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
I could name a few...



28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway ?
For the last dam time! PEOPLE THAT INVENT THINGS LIKE TO BE CONFUSING!

[CodeOtter]

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Well, if it didn't, what would be the use?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
No clue :3 ask the person who invented teh clock.

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
Hmm.... *grabs a different dictionary* this XD

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
He made em up XDDDDDD

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
probably a animal or something XD

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Wait, people say slow up?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
um... good question.

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
I DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
Hmm... because they want free tickets.

10. Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?
in choir we stand on stands

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
I have always questioned that.

12.. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
good thinking...

13.. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
because a guy can be anybody. It takes guts to be a real man XD

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
they do O.o

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
why isn't of spelled the way it sounds? (uv XDD)

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
ITS A LIE.

17.. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
A unkown world.

18. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
well.... YUP you can read, but not well lol.

29.. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control
when you know the batteries are dead?
Because lol.

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
Good question.

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
I don't know XD

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
its because... of..... HEY LOOK A DISTRACTION! *runs away*

25.. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
because, the cap is slick.

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
because it sits

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
HALLOWEEN.

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway ?
Because, people are idiots.

[plum]

On a tegu caresheet:

So you are thinking about owning a Tegu. You should be informed before making a decision to own one of these Amazing Reptiles. These are some facts to help you make this decision.

1.) They become quite large, growing to 4 or 5 feet long.

2.) Their lifespan can be 15 to 20 years.

3.) They are primarily meat eaters, but also eat fruits and vegetables.

4.) They are extremely good escape artists.

5.) They are voracious eaters!

6.) They can become aggressive if not handled regularly.

7.) In turn, they can become very tame, depending a lot on your care and handling.

8.) They exhibit extreme intelligence, can learn easily, and depend on you for companionship. Tegus are said to be the most intelligent Reptile on the Planet!

9.) They require quite large accommodations as they grow into adulthood.

10.) They need to be soaked in room temperature water at least twice a week.

11.) They seek and demand human attention!

I hope the above helps you make your decision on owning a Tegu.

I dunno why this amuses me..

[Renegade.Starr]

I want some Cracker Jacks!