Goodness well, didn't think I would be asking for advice rather than giving it.
I have a friend of mine, we'll call him M. Around the middle of last semester he and I started talking regularly, normally for fairly long conversations. We talked about a lot of things, like politics, personal histories, feelings, art, school, work. He told me that he was interested in being more than just friends with me. At the time this seemed unprecedented, and I did not return the feelings. I told him that there were things I liked about him, but I didn't share his admiration. That was okay with him; I doubt that he ever considered that I could come to like him at some point. We started to hang out more regularly, to the delight of my roommate and myself, who missed seeing him more often. M would come over during the week and the weekend sometimes. This was around when the semester had ended, so we all suddenly had a lot more free time to spare, and that made it very easy to see him as well.
Mid December we started to talk about really deep things about one another, sharing a lot of information that would be sensitive to each other. If I didn't like M in a romantic way by this point I certainly did now. I started wanting to talk to him as much as I could, see him whenever we were free. Soon after Christmas and I came back home, we spent nearly 3 straight days together. It was nice, laid back, and fun. Nothing was weird about it, we never got restless, and it was just very comfortable.
Then this semester started. M's best friend and a guy who had a strong love interest in me for almost a year prior to this, he's C, got a new girlfriend. She's great, and it meant he had finally moved on from me. M and I started mentioning that this could be a signal that we maybe could date in the future. Due to C and I's past, M was very skeptical about us being able to work out at all, but this development brought on possibilities. I planned on telling C my feelings for M much later, but C managed to drag it out of me not a week after he started dating this new girl. C doesn't deal with negative news very well, and immediately got very angry with me. He guilt tripped me a good part of the rest of the afternoon and whined that I was "doing this to him." C confronted M, and M lied to him, telling him that he didn't have feelings for me. C talked to me immediately, saying that he was sorry and that he would have, "been okay with us dating anyway."
It's been about 3 weeks since then. C has well moved on, probably mostly due to his girlfriend and the comfort knowing M and I will never be together. Since then M has been very wishywashy. He has a full time job and a few classes, so he is also commonly very busy. We talk significantly less than we used to, but I see him at least once a week if not more though it's for a brief time. When we are hanging out, though, he can either be cuddly and sweet, or standoffish and awkward. Mind you he made this switch from one day to the other: one day he was pulling me down to cuddle and watch a movie, the next he was sitting on the edge of the cushion away from me, playing a video game and making very little conversation. Sunday in response to a question about being a little closer (make out, basically) he said, "I don't want to make you think that something will happen that isn't going to." Not might not happen, isn't going to happen. He was concerned about my change in demeanor the rest of the day, rightfully so, but left to do laundry and homework a couple hours afterward.
tl;dr. I like a guy who is best friends with someone that was hung up on me. Now that that friend has moved on, there is still some tension, but to my knowledge the guy and I both like each other. He's been busy and growing more distant, to the point of almost flat out saying that he didn't want to have me think that we were going to be together when we aren't. I will hopefully be able to talk to him soon and get to the bottom of this, but I'm not hopeful. Does anyone have any ideas at all? He claims to have liked me for a while, but it seems like he's back peddling, or is at least incredibly conflicted. Any advice?
Off to bed, will read in the morning. Thanks everyone.
Lol thanks x3
