by spiff » Sat Jan 14, 2012 2:01 pm
Be prepared for a long one owo b
On Wednesday, I was told by my family that I should quit piano because I hadn't taken the chance to practice. They've actually been telling me for a while now, but I've managed to hold it off until next year because it's just not easy giving up something that you've done for half you life </3
But anyway, this sent me into a fit of tears again and I began mentally editing a rant that had been formulating in my head for a while now. I had a giant list of apologies I wanted to make. I was waiting for the weekend to come so that I could rattle off everything that had been on my mind. How I sucked at everything, how no one liked me, how my family isn't particularly encouraging.
And then I told myself to shut up and deal with it. I've been trying to do that for the last few months, but only now did I finally come through with it. So on Thursday, I woke up feeling pretty good about myself. I looked at the better side of everything, joked around with my friends, and generally cheered up a lot more. Rather than act strong-yet-bitter, I let everything go. Because while I thought I was drowning in stress, I looked at the big picture and thought about how the events that I had been dreading wouldn't even affect me in the long run.
Today is Friday the 13th. Something bad always happens to me. But I didn't even realize it until late in the morning, even after overhearing multiple conversations about it.
My day was awesome. Even though I killed my toes in pointe, even though I nearly killed myself doing that endedan pirouette in said pointe class, nothing bad occured. I had dumplings for dinner, my mom bought Pringles, I have rehearsal tomorrow, I'm nearly done with my homework, it's a long weekend, and my friends are coming over on Monday.
I have a new drawing style I'm excited to test, I just found out that despite not having an actual Xano, my Iuridon has given me one, and I've finally learned to take life as it is. Even with all the health problems I have, with all the physical therapy and solutions for them, my life is not nearly as bad as it could be. I have a loving family, a wonderful circle of friends, and an online family I can look to. Rather than waste my time pining over what could have been, I can accept what I have and make it better.
A week ago, I had a lengthy sob story about my life.
Today, I have the best rave ever <3