Write a Letter You Cannot Send

[undertaker.]

Dear Myself,

What's wrong with you? You've changed too much, too fast. You're drifting away from your old friends, you're finding nothing amusing anymore, you're sick of the internet, and your laugh is nowhere to be found. What happened to you?

Sincerely,
My Mind

[chekoli.]

Dear 'friends'

What just happened?! I thought I had a whole group of friends, somewhere i finally fit in, somewhere I could be myself. Then I find out from my other friend that none of you actually like me?! Like, what?! I talked to you guys, I dated a lucky few, and now you all hate me?! Sorry, WHAT? All I hear is that my two friends (who, one of them said she hated you all anyway) were going to the fair with you. I was invited by my friend, and then all of a sudden the one who apparently planned it says I can't go. GUESS WHAT, BUB. I CAN GO TO A FAIR IF I WANT. It's this magic thing called OPEN TO THE PUBLIC! So if I even went to the fair, none of you would even talk to me?! No, of course not. You all have ruined my life. I cry myself to sleep every night. I literally have 3 FREAKING FRIENDS that go to this school now. I literally sit to myself and wonder what I did. Apparently its because Ive changed. Whats changed?! Can someone please tell me?! Because I can't see anything thats changed! I'm the same old me! Its you thats changed. I LITERALLY AM IN A DEPRESSION RIGHT NOW. I can barely stand to look myself in the mirror because I have no friends. I can't talk to my father about it, and I can barely talk to my father at all! Do you realize you sent my whole life into a headspin?! I can't understand! What did I ever do?! Can you even imagine what you did to me? I HATE myself. I ask God every night what I did to deserve this horrible life I have, because if you heard my whole story, you'd be CRYING FOR ME. And then begging for forgiveness.

No love,
Me.

[blue.roses]

Dear T_____,

My dear friend of four long years, I just want you to know that I have no clue why I let you come to my house. You're, let's face it, a total nut with the most vulgar of thoughts and just about the worst influence for me. I can't lie, you are the best laugh and can be the most fun to talk to, but that's when you aren't thinking wrong. And not only do you talk like an adult instead of a young teen, but you can't get past one topic it seems without telling a blasted lie.

Always sending bullcrap through my ears, which if it won't anger you, only go out through the next ear. Thankfully you didn't pull any of that crap on me this time, but you have before and you will again, and with your head in places they really shouldn't be, I am beginning to think I should no longer trust you. I haven't ever done so before, but at the time there was no danger in the picture. I feel as we get older together that danger level is rising, and I think it's best I keep away.

But the catch? I don't know how to because without you, I have no life outside my little shell. No I don't want to be your slave, but at least I am something as opposed to nothing like I would be without you. I am now questioning myself on what is right: something or nothing. And that is not for you to answer.

Sincerely,
the girl whose honesty has only ever shown itself throughout the letter above

[Cap'n Rose]

Dear Slendie,

You terrify me... and yet, your non-faceness is smexiness plus ten. Between you and France, i'd take you.

And you've got tentacles.

It's sort of saying something.

Love,
The crazy girl who dreads sleeping alone for fear of you, but loves you all the same.

This letter is adressed to me, my brain and I-
What are you doing?
Actress, liar, fake.
Why are you so good at it?
Smile, bright- dark.
When was your happiness second?
Always, forever, eternally.

It's the way the world goes 'round. I'm a mediocre actor. But it's so believable when one loses themself in the role. And you do. You actually let your cares go for a little while. Not for long.
It will always be there, covering up- that mask, this mask, the mask.

But why are you doing this? Its for her. You love her with all your British being. But you aren't happy. Does she know that? The cat doesn't understand english, and you talk to her more. You kiss her furry head more. Heck, you don't even know what your love has for classes, how she gets to school, or what she's been up to lately. You preferred being her wife simply. Being her friend better.

Your crying now. You have your reasons. You feel stupid...
And weak... but this wasn't a basket of roses. It never was. You fell in love with a beauty, knew her thorns, took her as she was, seperated from the rosebush now. She hasn't withered- still utterly beautiful. Still disarmingly dangerous. But your happiness is gone.

Your innocence left.

There is little that remains.

For sanity leaves a crater of large proportions.

I feel like Atlas. Like Odin. Anubis. The weight is crushing me. Physically, like the greek. Mentally like the norse.spiritually like the egyptian.

Goodnight....

But it's time to decide-

Cap'n Rose...

[Kyar]

I'm not sure who this is to.

I feel so lost and helpless right now. Like everything around me is just falling apart. Not that I'm depressed or anything but I just need some guidance. Can you tell me which way to go? Can you tell me where I am? I've known for however long now that this is my last year to do things on my own. Or it might just be my last year before something wonderful. I can't tell but I know the split is about to happen. I'm getting closer to 18 and I know that the second I'm out of here I'm going to have to choose. I can't live both ways anymore. I know now that my heart has to find its resting place and this is my only chance. I feel like I know where I need to go but how can I give up myself to do it? I've split in two and I can't pull together because each side is only perfect for itself. I can't tamper with what's been done. I just have to make up my mind.
I dug myself in too deep is what happened. I was caught in his net before I knew it was there. Now I can't decide if he's my hero or my burden. I know I would die without him but I feel like a shadow when I'm with him. There's only a short matter of time left before I'll be gone.
So what can I say? Do I go all out and do what I love for this one last year or should I be mellowing down and preparing myself for what's to come? I don't know if there's a way for me to do both but I know that when I throw out these drawings it'll be over.
I think I know who I'm writing to now.

Peace and love,
Ky

[{Mᴇᴍᴏʀʏ S ᴛ ᴀ ʀ.}]

Dear almost crush,

Why did you desert me? Do you even remember the times when we were happy, when I would hug you and you would help me play video games. You would give me piggy-back rides and I would teach you all about anything you wanted. We played with out stuffed animals and had snowball fights. I developed a bit of a crush on you. Remember when our friend got his bloody nose and we laughed as the snow was stained red in your backyard? Well, what changed? I came back to 6th grade and you had changed. You despised me. Why. How did this happen. I would wave to you and you would flip me off, going to hang out with your 'Gangster' friends. You got a 'Girlfriend' but you two didn't ever have anything. I slowly got over the pain, but still, why did you change?

-- Si ♥

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Dear one I couldn't save,

I'm sorry she did that you you. I could have stopped it, she made you a shell. You used to be so happy, we used to be so happy. We were always friends. I haven't seen you in forever, are you still alive? You tried your best, gave her everything you had, and all she gave you in return was tears. You bought things for her and displayed affection to her, all in vain, for she was nothing but trouble. We all saw what she did to you, I just wanted to hug you.

I'm so sorry,
-- Si ♥

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Dear "friend",

You still show up at my house, you still use your sappy sob stories that we all know aren't true. Still lie, and cheat, and scam. You still hide it all behind an innocent smile, all flowers and butterflies. Stop. I don't want to be your friend anymore, I thought I made this clear. I hate you. You wrecked my life, wrecked my everything. I'm an outcasted freak because of you. I trusted you, sympathized with you, and for what? To cut the chords that bound me to my other friendships.

No.

-- Si ♥

[Salt]

Dear school,

Couldn't you at least sent a postcard telling me when my scheduling was due? I mean, no email, phone call, postcard. Any of that wasn't done. Huff.

- Salt

Dear School Office Lady,

This isn't a boot camp. It's called school. So don't go around yelling at me for asking about the lost&found, Kay?

- Salt

[undertaker.]

Dear Self,

Why can't you be normal? Because of your issues, you can't do anything. You've never been able to do anything. And everyone wonders why you're so awkward? Well then. They're lucky they don't have to deal with this. You've never been able to go to a sleepover, a party, or a field trip. Life's no fun when you make it impossible to have fun.

Sincerely,
Me

[Ryuuko Matoi]

Dear Idiot Person,
OMG. GO BACK TO 2ND GRADE. -_____-
You are way to stupid to be in 6th. Get out of my life. >.<

[blue.roses]

Dear Class Lists,

Please ensure that I will be in a class with at the very least, one person I am comfortable around and can be happy with since I am a social failure when it comes to making new friends, and please ensure that I end up with a fairly decent homeroom teacher. Also, please A______ and I________ be in my class, for I still cannot face those two boys after that huge and humiliating mistake I made in fifth grade.

Please make sure that I don't have any boys that could potentially win my heart, for this year is for school work and school work only. And I've already got the problem of forgetting G_____, there's no need for another boy in my sickly lonesome and pathetic heart. I think that's about it, except please don't let T_____ be in my class. We are only good friends when we are in different classes for she is truly a bad influence on me. Now I am finished. If these points all apply for my to be class, my new class will be just fine.

Sincerely,
A_____