dear jacob,
so here i am. im not skinny like lexi, not cunning like megan. im not beautiful like taylor, not a varsity polo player like fiona and jenna. i dont like football, i hate guys who like to get at it. so sometimes i screw up in polo, havent the skinniest thighs, get a little awkward at times, and have out of date clothes. im not the fastest swimmer, my shots suck unless im in a waist deep pool, and to be honest i prefer listening to talking. i have only a close group of friends and find myself alone in my of my classes. the only time all my friends are together is when im on the pool deck in sixth period with you. im not super fit like emily, dont have scary flexability like eva, and i certainly cant dance like kelsey t. can. but let me tell you what. you dont know the real me. people tell me what a cool, funny girl i am and i dont really see it. i dont see what they see unless im picking at myself bit by bit. i have thighs true, but hey. its a sign i hit puberty. they arent the smallest on the pool deck, nor are they the biggest. i have nice clothes; granted they arent all nice, but i have some. i can be funny at times, but its more of a sarcasm thing rather than real jokes. football confuses me; water polo doesnt. im only on jv, i cant expect to be as good as jenna or fiona. im not the fastest swimmer on the team, and lexi may have a better chance at being set than i will ever have, but hey. at least on not on froshsoft. ive got some good goals to be proud of, none you've seen hut the team knows it; im an even better defender. im awkward, but you have to be a laid back enough person to let me have the foolish side of me come out. so i hate talking? whats the big problem? you understand more in life if you listen more and besides, others have better things to say than i do. my closest group of friends are the wierdos, the ones i hang out at lunch with. the ones with acne problems, the one who's emo, the three asians, the kids who cant stop eating, and the ones you wonder how all that makeup ever landed them with a boyfriend. but my friends on the pool deck, the jv water polo girls, are worth the wait when the day is over and its last period. emily is really fit, skinny, and pretty. im trying. i run every night around my block, work to quicken my time on sprints, and i get coments daily that i look nice. they could be bluffing, who knows, but i believe them. after all they come from girls prettier than me, it must mean something. eva has flexibility, is pretty too. i dont know why more guys havent fallen for her. shes pretty, but theres always going to be someone better looking than you. kelsey can dance and its funny as h*ll, and i cant. i'd like to learn but i cant seem to get the hip swaying part ever right. i cant sing either, but most people cant. i like humming better anyways.
my point is, i look at you from across the pool deck and see that simple, gleaming face. your cute; every girl on the pool deck gawks over you. you have no reason to fawn over me, and im not trying to make you. its just nice to have a reason to talk myself up.
sincerely, me.
