Things that Annoy you

[Selcouth]

Gender things and sexuality ramblings below, just so you know. You may skip if you'd like to {please do}. I just needed to type.
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My village... Which cannot even be called anything remotely “town-like”, mainly due to being able to count the families {and generations thereof} who live here on one hand.
Anyway- It's a small village in both the good ways and the bad.

I was ascertained of this today when I had to switch therapists due to insurance issues or some such, and was told by who I believed to be a sweet old woman that I Wasn't Gay, Wasn't A Boy, and Is Just In A Phase. {Or alternatively, Just A Normal Teenager {Who Is Still Curious/Experimenting/Wrong. And a Very Special Young Woman Who Has To Deal With A Difficult Mind And Body. Among other things.}}
{{“Wrong” was used quite a bit, as were the less-comfortable pronouns and use of my legal name.}}

Also that I should be closer to my parents, absolutly cannot live on my own {despite the fact that I have been for almost two years, that my parents are both equally abusive or neglective in their own unique ways, and the ones who kicked my out in the first place {and God Forbid I'm happier that way}}, and am defensive and rude.

Defensive I understand, and I know that I certainly am, but... I didn't quite get rude, unless she was hoping I'd be praising my parents instead of retelling the events of daily life? I wouldn't say I love my parents, or consider them “family”, whatever that is, but... I respect them. I certainly didn't tell her what I could have; but I sort of shut down after the thirty minutes of homophobia/transphobia I just had to endure.

I know who and what I am, ma'am, and you evidently do not. But I know you mean well, so I can't really be mad at you, which only leaves myself to blame in some twisted, self-hating cycle of unnecessary stupidity.

Eff.

It's been almost five or six hours after the session, and I'm still a shaky, dysphoric, incredibily sad ball of angst. But I don't want to bother people in real life about it- and sort of can't considering what time it is- so to the Internet this goes~
I'm just tired of feeling like... I'm wrong, or a freak, or just really screwed up in some way. I hate it, but being surrounded by that mindset day-in, day-out... Gods, I just don't know anymore. I mean I do, but...
I'm sorry. I'm not making any sense. |D;;; At this point I'm just hoping I'll be back to normal tomorrow~ I still have commissions to do, items to draw, and I can't work when I'm all depressed. <3
I still miss my old, crazy man I had prior to her, though. ;-; He was awesome, and totally supportive, but evidently quite expensive.

...But in another note, I suddenly want to paint rainbow-colored, eye-bleeding monstrosities now, which I think means my mood is picking up. So yay. :D

[Bartimaeus]

T^T Not even funny Hollywood. I hate you. Go die now, please.
How could you do this to an amazing classic? Agathe Christie would be ashamed, completely and utterly ashamed. YOu turn a sweet old British lady who solves mysteries into a dolled-up thirty year old American cop. It doesn't make sense. How can you possibly do this?!

And another thing, why do you have to take away our Cadburys? ;n; They were so much happier being British. Why do you have to buy out the most amazing chocolate in the world, and then change the name too? America, you already have so much good stuff. Why do you feel the need to Americanise everything that is ours too? Most of the people I know in this country speak with an American accent, and use the American words rather than the English ones. Its not fair, it is just not fair. I am so distraught that Cadburys is having to be replaced by whatever you're turning it into.

@Selcouth: D: I feel so sorry for you. Whatever that counselling is, I advise that you don't go anymore if they're deciding to treat you like this. Its just not right, and you shouldn't have to feel like a freak just because some old lady is homophobic.

~Barty
I LOVE YOU ARISU!

[Selcouth]

@Bartimaeus: -hoping I spelt your username right ;;-
Thank you. <3
Sadly, I'm still locked into two more trips because they were pre-paid, and would like to avoid disappointing/arguing with my parents {who are paying}.
And my aunt bought me Pokemon Black, on the condition that I would endure it long enough to get out of the contract, so I'm guilt-tripped as well. |D
But it's not going to be quite so bad, I hope, as long as I can detatch myself mentally when the subject comes up. I'm getting quite good at that, but it's a bit scary. ^^; I don't think it's really what I'm meant to be doing, but in a roundabout way, it's still a method of preserving my mental health.

Technically, I'm there for general anxiety problems and the possible chance of me being an aspie; but they tend to find the most uncomfortable things to talk about. Which I suppose is their job, really.

Also- whatwhat, Cadburys what? D:
Noo. ;-; You cannot change the most amazing chocolate ever. Not even the name. It's like... Blasphemy to the Confectionary Gods! It's not right~!

[Bartimaeus]

@Bartimaeus: -hoping I spelt your username right ;;-
Thank you. <3
Sadly, I'm still locked into two more trips because they were pre-paid, and would like to avoid disappointing/arguing with my parents {who are paying}.
And my aunt bought me Pokemon Black, on the condition that I would endure it long enough to get out of the contract, so I'm guilt-tripped as well. |D
But it's not going to be quite so bad, I hope, as long as I can detatch myself mentally when the subject comes up. I'm getting quite good at that, but it's a bit scary. ^^; I don't think it's really what I'm meant to be doing, but in a roundabout way, it's still a method of preserving my mental health.

Technically, I'm there for general anxiety problems and the possible chance of me being an aspie; but they tend to find the most uncomfortable things to talk about. Which I suppose is their job, really.

Also- whatwhat, Cadburys what? D:
Noo. ;-; You cannot change the most amazing chocolate ever. Not even the name. It's like... Blasphemy to the Confectionary Gods! It's not right~!

D8 Awwww.... That really sucks. I hope that once its over you can relax and enjoy a nice chocolate bar before some disgusting American chocolate company takes it over. ;n; No offence to American chocolate, but I hate Hersheys and anything like it.
Are you allowed to say you don't feel comfortable talking about this? ;D Maybe you can try and quickly change the subject - when I had to go to counselling I would always do that by pointing out the lava lamp in the corner, or pick up the russian doll and start talking about that for no reason whatsoever. It wastes time and helps change the subject much more easily.

~Barty
I LOVE YOU ARISU!

[Ollie.]

I want to go see the Kentucky Derby.
I do I do D:!

;-; it's only a couple hours away.. *flails arms*

[antler apathy]

Over a foot of new snow and it's already practically April.
Snow, go away, nao. I don't want you anymore.
;A;

[danielson]

i hate my brother

[Ollie.]

Over a foot of new snow and it's already practically April.
Snow, go away, nao. I don't want you anymore.
;A;

~Gives you my warm spring weather~
;-; I hate allergies.

[tide.]

How every single topic that I post on just instantly goes silent so that I get bored.


Watch no one post after this xD

[Bartimaeus]

How every single topic that I post on just instantly goes silent so that I get bored.


Watch no one post after this xD

xD Surprisingly enough, this.

~Barty
I LOVE YOU ARISU!