TheComfortCorner | V.9

[bubbaberriboo]

i think i am reaching my limit. there is just so many awful things happening at once. i’ve become numb but at the same time i still feel the exhaustion of being overrun with bad news after bad news. i have genuinely been thinking about limiting or even just completely deleting most of my social media or internet presence. it’s so exhausting having all this information thrown at me and not being able to do anything. i’m going through my own struggles and problems and every time i go online i get reminded that so many others have it worse than me. i start to feel selfish for having my own little problems. my problems start to feel meaningless and i start trying to force myself to move on or get over it. but there are things i just cannot get over. whether they’re things i’ve endured or things going on in the world, i can’t just ignored them. i can’t ignore the aching feeling of still being hurt by things that happened to me years ago. i can’t just forget there is a pandemic going on knowing very well it could still kill one or both of my parents. i physically cannot work because of how crippling my anxiety has become. it’s just too much. and here i am thinking i should just ignore it all and isolate myself. i know that won’t help. i don’t know what i need or what to do. i don’t know who to talk to or what to say to my therapist. i don’t know. i feel like i always run away and then come crawling back because i’m too weak to actually try and get my life together. i try and i try but i fail over and over again. it doesn’t seem worth it to keep trying. i know i can’t be like this forever. i can’t keep waiting for something to change. ugh
nothing even feels real anymore

[R3NNIE]

i’ve been doing okay! i’m on vacation at a cabin. very awesome. my bf and doggy is here too!! the beds are very uncomfortable and the weather kinda stinks (which sucks because it was warm the week before and will be warm as soon as we leave). my bfs allergies are awful so i feel pretty bad, i wish i could do something to help but i cannot :( we’re gonna rent a boat today though! that will be cool despite being pretty chilly. tomorrow will be warmer hopefully. hoping to make a moth attractor thing tonight :]

anyone is welcome to vent or tell me about their day in my pms. i don’t bite!! but do keep in mind that i can’t help you if you’re in crisis.

[mcr]

i hate feeling like im faking it

[Rindepie]

i wish i had more friends or people to talk to, i have a feeling all of my friends hate me because of how depressed i get
i understand that they might not want me around anymore, i mean, in the end, friendships always die no matter what
i also hate thinking about my future, or my lack of one. i know i have no future, and that somewhat scares me. however, if i did have a future, i would just be a new burden on anyone and everything.

i wish i had more irls, im wasting my life here in my room doing absolutely nothing.
i wish.. someone cared for me, at least. it usually feels like i’m alone.

[♥ vibrissae]

i just need to get this out. i don't freaking care if any of my teachers see this, it needs to be said and i'm so freaking frustrated about it. it's not the school's fault, but they're certainly not providing what they promised they would.

this entire student body is so reserved and i despise it. i cannot stand it, they are way too quiet. at first, i thought they were moreso reserved, maybe shy. but no. they're dismissive and downright rude about it - i literally cannot talk to them. i'll start a conversation and put a lot of effort into trying to carry it and bring them out of their shell, but i'm met with "uh huh"s, "yeah"s, and "no"s. i sound like such a narcissist and i know i'm the issue considering my attitude towards the situation, but it's so eerie. it doesn't matter about the context. even my classmates ignore me, it's incredibly frustrating. i make a joke and nobody laughs. a few days ago, i made a joke to this one kid and he looked at me like i was growing a tail.

all i want is a friend here :( i haven't felt a genuine smile or belly laughed since i left my old school, this school feels empty. going from having interesting conversations and hearing constant laughter every single day to... this.. hurts. for some context, this is a private school full of some incredibly wealthy international students, so i expected some wariness. just not on this scale. apparently it's a bit of a common theme with new students here.

not to mention the favouritism. some teachers like me i think, but i'm pretty much constantly reminded that they value one of my peers more despite me being on his level, if not beyond, in most subjects. there's 4 of us in the whole class, is it that hard to share the love? my god.

y'know, i wouldn't care if they only talked about themselves. i just need something to go off of, i want to know them. it makes me feel like i'm failing and it hurts so, so bad to be basically ignored. i'm trying so hard to be positive and helpful, but only my teachers seem genuinely friendly in return - is it because they're paid? i don't think so, their eyes light up a little and we have great conversations. i sound like such an entitled jerk saying all of this, but today was my breaking point. on my way home, i stopped by one of the classrooms my classmates were huddled in and wished them good luck at their game tomorrow. maybe they just didn't hear me, but i was completely ignored. one glanced at me, but said nothing. no emotion. i don't even expect a "thanks" anymore, i just need human interaction. please give me something. please. i need a friend :(

[bellamare]

i dropped my backpack when putting it in my car today. it didnt fall far, just slipped off the seat. opened up my backpack in class today and the top right corner of my laptop is shattered and the screen is black in that corner. it still works but its really bad, i cant see anything in that corner. my nana bought me this laptop last year and its a really nice laptop, it was like $1k. i feel so bad breaking it, i just wanna cry. we have a warrantee but i dont know if they'll fix it since its my fault, even though i had it in a protective case. i just feel so dumb. its finals week this week and next and i'm already so overwhelmed. i was sick all day yesterday so i'm behind. theres so much to do. and once its over i start a new job. that same week i start my new job i get my test results back from the rheumatologist. im so overwhelmed and my laptop breaking is making it all bubble to the surface. i just want to cry

[rileyistired]

if ur so good without me then leave me alone

[serafim]

when will i stop being to blame or ever do right.

[bubbaberriboo]

”sorry can’t talk right now. busy crying over conversations i’m making up in my head to try to find answers to questions i can’t ask”

[autumnsoundtrack]

Just got demoted at my job to a day-to-day sub instead of my long-term assignment. Right after they rearranged the whole schedule and made my long-term job a hell of a lot easier. I'm so upset, because now not only am I being booted from a position I can now handle very well, but now my schedule and therefore my income is more unreliable. I have $20 in my bank account. I don't know what I'm going to do.