TheComfortCorner | V.9

[onion]

i was lied to. of course. nothing new. but i thought you wouldnt do it. i trusted you. thanks for ruining that.

[connoisseur]

It feels as if people only want my attention and presence for their own enjoyment, have their fantasies and expectations of me, and each time I fail to meet those, or I simply feel like I can just be myself for once, I am just reminded again and again how little I mean to others when I am not what they want from me.

This is definitely going to set me back some. I need to refocus and stop trying to humor ideas that are outside of my main objectives. But it is hard to have to go through all this, time and time again, in an attempt to feel like I'm normal, to prove to others that there's nothing wrong with me just to not hear the tones of others questioning my choices. I was once comfortable in my own presence. Now I don't want anything to do with myself anymore.

[yaksha]

i wish it was easier for me to talk to people. i have wanted to befriend multiple people so bad but i stop myself because of the fear that they will think i'm annoying, ugly, weird, etc. i just feel like it's so much harder to make friends in college compared to high school, and hardly anyone in my nursing program shares the same interests as me. i'm just quiet all the time with no one to talk to, and i feel so left out even though i know it's my own fault for not being able to hold a proper conversation. it's not just real life either, i have constant anxiety with messaging over games or xbox party chat with randoms in game. it's like a neverending cycle of anxiousness with everything i do and i hate it. it's only gotten worse as i've gotten older and i feel so pathetic and sad lol

[kafka `]

ive been so uncomfortable recently, i can't help but feel like im ruining everything and that everything is my fault and the guilt is eating at me, and the urge to run away from everything is coming up stronger than ever but i dont want to leave someone dear to me again. i feel like ive changed for the better but i still struggle standing up for myself bc im scared that my feelings will make someone else angry and inconvenience them like they've done in the past, and if i open up about how i feel they'll just think i'm asking for attention or pity. i can't help but feel like a horrible person, i dont think i deserve anything good in life, and i know that eventually karma will get me
im just so uncomfortable

[mean&gay]

embarrassing lapse in judgement

[rabidcoyote]

x

[vi‎ ‎]

x

[faentofheart]

I have not been doing well lately…
All the things I used to enjoy feel like a chore. I have no friends (not an exaggeration), and I’m starting to push my partner away too. I’ve been going to bed at 6 pm, ignoring/not responding to messages of all kind, avoiding horse back riding, and I’ve been falling behind in school. I went from a straight a student to Ds and Es. I just want to be left alone to curl up and die somewhere, because it sure doesn’t feel like anyone would miss me if I was gone.

My mom is too agressive when I’m sad and crying, and won’t leave my room (my only safe place) unless I tell her what’s wrong. She says I’m ungrateful and I’ll never get her help again, and that she will just leave me alone if that’s what I want. I don’t know what I want.

I’m crying myself to sleep nearly every night and I just don’t feel like being awake anymore. My life just consists of distracting myself from everything and everyone. And would you look at that, I ruined my relationship again in the middle of a mental break down. Fun.

[pictochat]

i almost freaked out because cs wasn't loading and it said it was blocked. im using my school issued laptop so that could definitely be a possibility. im just worried if they do block cs because its currently my only escape

[lusher]

i think my depression is getting bad again.