TheComfortCorner | V.9

[rileyistired]

i haven’t had a really good friend in awhile and
every time i think things are going well with a friend they just leave i don’t know why i act surprised at this point but i
;-; how can you call me “so caring” and then go back to being friends with someone that hurt me i
why act like i matter to you if you’re just going to leave
i know i won’t be everyone’s favorite person but maybe a couple people could
be nice to me and not just
leave

[lusher]

he just shoved me on thecold ground :)
i tried to talk to him and he shoves me down
i wish i wasn talive being slivrhurts do much

[viles]

• tw covid
  i tested positive. i'm feeling sick right now, in more ways than one.

[Kira C-137]

ᴶᵃⁿ ¹⁹, ²⁰²²

ʸᵒᵘ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗᶦᵐᵉˢ ᴵ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ ᶜᵃⁿ'ᵗ ˢᵗᵃⁿᵈ ᵐʸ ˡᶦᶠᵉ, ˡᶦᵏᵉ ᶦᵗ'ˢ ᴶᵃⁿ ²⁰²², ᵃⁿᵈ ᴵ'ᵐ ᶦⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵃᵐᵉ ᵖˡᵃᶜᵉ ᴵ ʷᵃˢ ᶦⁿ ²⁰²¹, ²⁰²⁰, ²⁰¹⁹, ᴺᴼᵀᴴᴵᴺᴳ ᵉᵛᵉʳ ᶜʰᵃⁿᵍᵉˢ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵐᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ ᴵ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᵘⁿᵈᵉʳˢᵗᵃⁿᵈ ᵃⁿᵈ ᴵ ᶜᵃⁿ'ᵗ ʰᵉˡᵖ ᶦᵗ. ⁿᵒ, ᴵ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ʷᵃⁿᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵇᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ ᵒʳ ᵠᵘᶦᵗ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᴵ ᵈᵒ ᴵ ˢᶜʳᵉʷ ᵘᵖ ¹ ˢᶦⁿᵍᵘˡᵃʳ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ ᴮᴼᴼᴹ ˡᶦᶠᵉ ᵗᵘʳⁿᵉᵈ ᵘᵖˢᶦᵈᵉ ᵈᵒʷⁿ ᶠᵒʳ ᴺᴼᵀᴴᴵᴺᴳ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ᴵᴹ ˢᴼᴿᴿʸ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᵈᵒ ʸᵒᵘ ʷᵃⁿᵗ ᵐᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵈᵒ ᵏ.ʸ.ᵃ.ˀ ⁿᵒ ˢᵒʳʳʸ, ᴵ'ᵐ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵍᵒⁿⁿᵃ ᵈᵒ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵇᵉᶜᵃᵘˢᵉ ᴵ'ᵐ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ˡᵒʷ. ᴵ ᵛᵃˡᵘᵉ ᵐʸˢᵉˡᶠ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᴱⱽᴱᴿʸᵀᴴᴵᴺᴳ ᴵ ᵈᵒ ᵃⁿᵈ ᴵ ᵐᵉᵃⁿ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ᵐᵒˢᵗˡʸ ᵇᵉᶜᵃᵘˢᵉ ᴵ ᵈᵒ ⁿᵒᵗ ᶜᵃʳᵉ ᵃᵗ ᵃˡˡ ᵃⁿᵈ ᴵ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ʰᵒʷ ᵗᵒ ᶜᵃʳᵉ ᴵ'ᵐ ˢᵒʳʳʸ. ᵃⁿᵈ ⁿᵒ ᴵ'ᵐ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵃᵖᵒˡᵒᵍᶦᶻᶦⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ʸᵒᵘ ᴵ'ᵐ ᵃᵖᵒˡᵒᵍᶦᶻᶦⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ᵐʸˢᵉˡᶠ ᶠᵒʳ ˡᵉᵗᵗᶦⁿᵍ ᵐᵉ ᵈᵒ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵗᵒ ᵐʸˢᵉˡᶠ, ᵍᵉᵗ ᵐʸˢᵉˡᶠ ᶦⁿᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉˢᵉ ˢᶦᵗᵘᵃᵗᶦᵒⁿˢ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᴵ ᶜᵃⁿ'ᵗ ᵉˢᶜᵃᵖᵉ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᴵ ᵗʳᶦᵉᵈ ˢᵒ ʰᵃʳᵈ ᶠᵒʳ ⁿᵒᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ, ᶠᵒʳ ˡᶦᵗᵉʳᵃˡˡʸ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵘʳⁿ ᵗᵒ ᵃˢʰᵉˢ. ᴮᵘᵗ ᵗʰᵃᵗ'ˢ ᶦᵗ.. ᶠᵒʳ ⁿᵒʷ ᵘⁿᵗᶦˡ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ʰᵃᵖᵖᵉⁿˢ, ˡᵒᵛᵉ ʸᵒᵘᵎ

You can read if you'd like :>

[SLOPPED!]

i am sick of enduring harassment and bullying, online and in person. all different people. i genuinely can't escape it and its exhausting. everyday after school i take a nap ranging from 3-5+ hours. i sleep well, but i always wake up in a cold sweat, like i have had a nightmare. i can't remember them often. i am very tired. i am sick, maybe not physically, but mentally. people think im faking things often because of my past. people don't think others can change, when i have.
different topic; i hurt my thumb in gym, right on the joint, its just bruised but goodness it hurts. alot. alot alot. people think i overdo things alot. im just being honest. i don't lie. im called a liar alot.
i am very tired. exhausted. im growing paranoia. im growing more memories, ones i forgot. they are painful. im in pain. my only escape anymore is the internet and sometimes school, but i don't have many friends with my bad reputation. with people who carry things on. who never forget. its very tiring. i wish people could move on. i want to forget things myself, i already have fairly severe memory loss and just forgetful in general, but it has increased with the trauma in recent years. im rambling. i hate it. i feel like a nuisance. i probably am. thats why i don't talk to anyone. im scared of people knowing me. im terrified to trust anyone. its painful. i want friends but i can't trust. im scared to grow any closer. i don't wanna get hurt again. not again. not ever again.
sorry. i should stop. i dont want this to be too long, i feel like it already is.
i dont care anymore, i just want friends. people also dont like me because of how i may act. im fairly outgoing in school, very open, a jokester. outside im the opposite. im quiet and keep to myself, wanting to sleep or be on here. chickensmoothie is the only game i have. only game i can play since i have a motorola phone and chromebook laptop, which means i cant download any games because i have 0 space in my phone and my laptop doesn't let me download anything because its a chromebook. i hate it. it makes me despise my father for getting me it, that cheapskate. he only sees me alteast twice a year and gets me this piece of junk and shoes that arent even good???? i feel ashamed even knowing we share the same blood. i have to code to play any games on it, or even DRAW. you know how awful that is for an artist????? AWFUL. i use the touch screen on it and i use the touchpad. ugh. im just sick of everything at this point. sorry this is long.

[Sullivan Maurus]

I've been on this site for a decade now.

I never really joined CS to interact with the community, but I ended up doing so anyway, and I honestly regret it greatly. Never have I felt more isolated, alone, and afraid than I have here. I am constantly anxious and terrified to interact with anyone.

The introduction of followers on art, and the constant updates on your individual popularity, have played a part in these feelings for me as well. Its incredibly isolating to know that no one is excited to see you and your art, and it hurts a lot more than I think most people realize. Its not that I didn't already think that was the case for me, but the fact that's now confirmed and set in stone that upsets me. It was better when I didn't know such things. It was easier to brush it off and not care. But I can honestly say that that update was what officially killed off my desire to create art, not just on CS, but in general.

I'm not quitting, but I just wanted to make those points on my 10 year anniversary of joining. CS has come a long way in the 10 years I've been here, and I look forward to seeing it continue to evolve. Still, I no longer have the desire to interact with people outside of buying adopts/characters, nor do I really have the desire to create anymore. I guess one could call me a "lurker" then; ever present, but not interacting outside of the odd post on a forum game.

I apologize for the vent, and I hope the people who are going through more serious issues are alright.

[ruin]

I really should just leave CS for a few years again, it's not like anybody would notice anyway lol.

every time I log back in, I have to ask myself why?

messages are always empty and I don't care for trading/pet collecting anymore, so what's the point in returning time and time again?

nobody is waiting for me here.

nobody is looking forward to me logging in/replying to messages or RP/making new oekaki.

all of my friends from 11 years ago are not here anymore. do they know that they are missed?

blank out my account, black out my oekaki. just disappear and forget this exists for a while. maybe re-join mweor again since they have a friendlier community. sounds like a nice plan. I always did want to get a custom meowr of my sona.

on top of irl stress this really is just making me feel low. concerningly low.

I have to take a big step up and I am just so unprepared. this bomb was dropped on me at such a terrible time and now I am expected - yes, EXPECTED - to pick up all the pieces and seamlessly fit into my new role.

how? I'm still new to this, I don't know everything about this yet, and yet I am already at the top. I have to make all the calls and all the decisions now.

why me? I feel like I didn't even get a choice. what's going to happen when something goes wrong? oh right, it'll be my fault. but in reality, it's theirs.

I need to be up in a few hours to go, and I know my director will want to talk about this. what do I tell him? that I won't/that I can't? why, so they can get rid of me?

I have to do this, at least for a few months. but I'm just... so anxious. so so anxious.

I can't sleep.

is this where I finally admit to myself that I am severely depressed, and have been for years? maybe I should, but I don't think I will.

I only have myself.

but oh no, im just complaining.

[amaoretto]

why do i feel bad about this? why does my chest hurt so bad?
i’m not feeling loved, i haven’t felt love in over a year. yet, i’m the one feeling guilty.
i have to rip it off like a bandaid or i’ll never do it…

[Amyloid]

I have two assignments that are super whoah big. The duedate is tomorrow. I only wrote a few words. Please just stop torturing me. I'm just planning to just throw it away into the depths of my brain and just go and sleep. I'm really tired of doing this and doing this again and again and again. I don't even want to do it right now because my eyes hurt and my neck hurts and my brain hurts and I'm not supposed to be typing here but I just want to. This project just made me dread projects even more. Plan to go to sleep. So tired. Nobody even talks to me.
(Thank you for looking at all of my gibberish. I hope you have a nice day. (and maybe if you wish you can pm me?)

[~~Leafdapple~~]

It's been so hard to live lately. I moved and for the first time I'm the new kid. Then a week or two later I catch Covid and infect my family. It took me two weeks to get over. When I finally went back to school, I got extreme muscle pain to where I can't walk when doing P.E. I had to stay home for a couple days, then we got a bad snow storm, and I couldn't leave the house for almost a week now. I use walks and going to school as a way to feel more in control of my life, a way to get away from my family. But now that I can't, I'm so overwhelmed and anxious. It feels so hard to just exist. And then I have school on top of that. I have so many assignments late from when I had Covid, and so many projects, tests, and things I don't understand. I wish I could just have a week off from school with no assignments, no sickness, no responsibilities. I'm so stressed out and I don't have any time to do the things I enjoy anymore. And now with my mom hurting her hip, I have so many new responsibilities and more people to take care of. I'm sleep-deprived, stressed, anxious, and depressed, and I just wish I could die at this point.
Now my mom keeps shaming me for my weight. I'm not a skinny person. I used to be, but I suddenly gained 70 lbs over the summer a couple years ago. It wasn't my fault. I wasn't doing anything unusual. I have a hormone problem and I'm constantly having my period and weight gain. Now I can't be comfortable in my own skin. At my old school, I didn't have to do P.E, but at this school I do and it is so humiliating to have to change in front of other people. I hate myself so much, but I do my best to lose the weight. I've been trying for what feels like forever, but nothing works. My mom and my sister have been making fun of my appearance and making me hate myself even more. I don't think they do it on purpose, I feel like it's just them projecting their own insecurities onto me, but it's really painful.
I wish I had time where I could be fully alone. Only taking care of me, working on myself, and being happy. I can't even talk to anyone about my problems because I don't trust anyone. Plus, I'm afraid I'd share to much and get myself in trouble. Like, I don't want to accidentally out myself to my parents. I know they won't except me, they didn't except my sisters. I just wish it could be better.