TheComfortCorner | V.9

[saw]

having a hard time coming to grips with something that i should of earlier. i feel very lost. and the thirtieth is soon but i have no energy. every day i just kinda feel like im not getting anywhere but im not getting any worse so how bad is it really

[Klaora]

Buckle in, folks. This is a long one. Honestly, I don't expect anyone to even read this, but I certainly appreciate it if you do. I kinda just need a space to scream into the void in a way that isn't harmful to anyone.

For some context- I'm well into adulthood at this point. I an artist/dealer at conventions in the USA where I met this individual- Zi.
My partner first encountered Zi on a dating app. There's a fairly big gap in ages between us, with Zi being newly into adulthood. Everything was pretty kosher - my partner kept them company over the convention and we had a good time. We even took Zi out to eat since we were pals by the end of the show.
Everyone goes home after the convention and my partner and I are often on the phone with Zi at this time. We come to find out that he's a trans guy living with a trans/homophobic mom. That his mom is abusive financially, verbally, and occasionally physically -even to the point of sending him to conversion therapy camps multiple times throughout his teenage years. One night was particularly critical when he called us up and, despite only knowing this guy for a mere month, we drove 3 hours in the middle of the night to go pick him up and three hours back so that he could spend the weekend away at our place.

During this detox, my partner and I begin to realize that Zi going back to his mom's was just not an option. We had the space, so we offered for him to temporarily move in with us until he can get on his feet financially. My partner and I were particularly angry on Zi's behalf due to us having similar trauma with our parents.

There was certainly an adjustment period as Zi got accustomed to living in an environment that wasn't as demanding as his previous. Despite the rocky start, things went well initially.
During this time, my partner and I were in the middle of closing on a house. (We're first-time homeowners! Yay! ) Once we close and start moving in, Zi critical hits my partner with an emotional betrayal. I won't go into the specifics, but it wasn't pretty.
Even so, my partner and I moved past that. Zi admitted to screwing up and promised to do better. Unfortunately, the cracks were starting to show.

Not long after, Zi began accusing my partner of "being a creep." Despite nothing happening between the two -I work from home and do *not* leave the house. I would KNOW if he was being a creep.
Nevertheless, I took Zi at his word and addressed this issue with my partner. Unfortunately, Zi got the jump on initiating and guiding this conversation.

This has happened many times- Zi often uses a "divide and conquer" tactic when it comes to addressing issues between Zi, myself, and my partner. It has allowed misinformation to spread throughout the household; I don't know whether this has been intentional on Zi's part.

Also to add: Zi has an entire room. We do not charge him or ask for rent. We often make family meals which he's welcome to eat. When his car was totaled, I told him that he could take mine -no questions asked.

About a month ago, Zi managed to take care of his car issues and get a job in the new city. Caleb and I had planned to have a conversation with him. Part one was a congratulations on his success despite all of the stress he's been going through, and part two was a "where we're going from here" in regards to helping him find his own place. We didn't want to have this conversation over the phone and wanted to wait and have it in person, but Zi refused to respect this boundary -getting upset with us and forcing us to have the conversation on his terms when we weren't quite ready.
This was another instance in which our relationship with Zi went further downhill. At this point, we asked him to crunch some numbers and come up with a budget for finding his own place. We asked if he could afford finding his own place with his current employment and, if not, could pull some strings to get him a job starting at $21 and hour (unheard of in my part of the country.)
Zi shut this conversation down in the same way he had every time before -making excuses, and refusing to so much as meet us in the middle to work something out.
It was at this point that my partner had had enough. We gave him a week to put together a budget and asked if moving out was even possible at his current unlivable (fast food employees make more) wage.

A week later, he's more or less moved out without telling us and has been using his room here as nothing more than a free storage unit. It is one of only two small bedrooms.
He still comes by for this and that -never so much as making small talk with either of us because "we make him uncomfortable." When asked if he was planning on moving back in with his abusive mom he said that living there "is about the same" as living with us.

Cut to this evening where yet another request for a chat ended up with it being, yet again, on his terms with no regard for our boundaries. I merely asked for 15-30 minutes of his time to chat between now and the middle of next week, and he outright refused- citing work, holidays, and other obligations.
I fully understand that he's going through a lot, but I've tried for months to be kind, accommodating, and understanding. I'm at my wit's end.
At this point, I told him that he's welcome to live here, but that we're not a storage place for his items. He can either live here, or have his items out by Jan 1st.
He's upset that we've had the audacity to put his items (that have been left in common areas) in his room -when he hasn't lived here for over a month.
I told him that if things weren't out by the 1st, and he refused to communicate with us about what's going on, then when would put his stuff in a storage unit and pay for the first month as a courtesy.
He FEAKED out. Saying that he "doesn't consent to use putting his stuff in a storage unit."

I'm at a complete loss on what to do. I feel like even though I've done everything I can to be kind, accommodating, and respectful, that I've still somehow done something terrible. I know that he lives here rent free and we really did try to treat him as part of our family, but he seems to think that we're awful people who he can't stand to be around. That he's scared of coming home.
Again, we drove 6 hours in the middle of the night to save him from his abusive mother, financed the move, don't charge him rent for his own room, and I feel like the one who's been doing wrong.

I'm completely at a loss. I genuinely hope that this doesn't kill my kindness down the road.

Thanks for reading if you did. I know that this story is written from a one-sided perspective and that neither my partner and I are perfect people but, I genuinely believe that we've done FAR more good in this situation than he'll ever admit or appreciate.

[Paul.]

I've missed quite a bit of school recently due to being sick, so obviously there's gonna be a bunch of missing work due. The problem is, I'm usually an A student, with a scholarship to college, and all the expectations that one could dream of. It's hard sometimes because of all this work in front of me, and so many escapes I have to just put it to the side and tell myself I'll do it later. Some days I don't even wanna get out of bed. Most of the time, my parents criticize me for doing something that isn't my best. It doesnt encourage me to do any better, it just makes me feel worse about myself. I hate how life isn't fair. I know I might just be a teenager complaining about stupid things, and I know I'll probably look back on this and think about how I should be doing my work right now, but it just sucks.

[bluebird.]

I love my job, but my boss has been upsetting me. I work in a daycare and I absolutely love the students and teachers I work with. Everything was working out great until my I registered for my spring semester. I was working in the afternoon because my schedule allowed it, but now my school scheduled has completely changed. Since I'm almost done with my associate's degree, I don't have many classes left. The few options I had to pick from were all in the afternoon when I'd typically be working.

I didn't think it would be an issue and that I'd be able to switch to mornings. There was actually a morning shift available that I ran to my boss to ask for. I know she's not obligated to give me the position just because I asked, but it seemed like I was going to be given the position until two weeks later. She hired someone new. When I asked her about it, she explained that she was confused about why my hours had to change. I have no clue what she was confused about when all I said was that my school schedule changed so I couldn't work the same hours anymore.

It's just upsetting because I'm so happy in my classroom and I've bonded with everyone there. It's been about three weeks and now one of the head teachers has left. In order to cover for her all the teachers/aids is the classroom are picking up more hours. All of them except for me. Sometimes I get called in early to work, but it doesn't happen often. Another head teacher is leaving in January. Our classroom is literally screwed if she can't find coverage/new teachers. I can't be a head teacher yet since I am still in school and not yet qualified.

My boss also told me that this time of year is when everyone is switching to morning hours. I have a hard time believing this, though, because there aren't that many workers in the first place. I think she's just finding excuses to keep me working my afternoon hours so she has more time to find someone new to cover my shift.

I don't want to have to find a new job, but I think I'll have to.

[venti]

i wanna cry so hard.

[Dead Cellist]

I have tried four different medications now over the past few months and nothing is helping at all. The side effects keep messing with my body and I feel so uneasy all the time. I'm so close to giving up, I really am.

[mean&gay]

hh

[Shy]

i'll try my best to make this short AND make sense, so here we go yall!

i'm currently [removed], here in brazil it's been well over a year since schools shut their doors and we were "forced" to attend the awful online classes; although my school is private, it sucks.
i'd go over all the issues with my school but that might need a whole netflix series (and spinoffs)-- LMAO

i've been struggling mentally since very young and during the end of [removed], things got a bit worse because of some awful people; i never exactly let that bring me down, yeah i have adhd but my irls like me no matter what! we know eachother since kids!

but, to cut things short, i'll have to redo this year. i am /not/ graduating with my irls because my mental health is so bad, i couldn't do the effort of attending classes, doing homework, tests, ect. i've been seeing them celebrate, making a lil party at school and having what we call "crazy week" (basically spirit week, but only [removed] get to do it).

i always dreamed about doing those things, about graduating, about being with my friends until the "very end" but it didn't go as 12y/o me had planned. they don't text me at all, they've been growing closer and closer to my ex (a pathological liar obsessed with being the "good guy") even though they know all my ex put me through; i'm eternally grateful for my amazing online friends, for them being the best family i could never even think about being a part of (cuz that's how sweet they are, deadass angels), however, i can't help but still feel on my own. i feel bad for feeling lonely because i have such amazing, loving people by my side.
it's really tiring, but i'm sure i'll manage!

[changbin]

someone extremely important to my mom and our family got hospitalized due to some freak accident.
my mom called the hospital and they wouldn't tell her anything. she told me that usually meant there wasn't any good news.
i feel so lost.

[Gubler]

This time last week I had a major surgery take place on my spine to fix my scoliosis, whilst I’m grateful to finally be going home today after spending a week in hospital I’m also very depressed. I can’t do anything I love anymore, I’m unable to even sit up for longer than 30 minutes as I struggle to breathe. I’m tired of taking over 15 tablets a day as I find it very difficult to take them. It just feels like my life has been taken away from me overnight, I want it back. I miss being able to do everything on my own without being in some sort of pain or discomfort. I’m sure all these things will pass overtime but I don’t know how much longer I can cope just basically existing. I can’t even do something simple like get dressed without help or play video games and I just miss that so much ;-;