TheComfortCorner | V.9

[rum]

i think it seems like no matter how hard i try i cant help people when it counts the most. they say i do, but what if they just don't want me to feel bad? i just get so scared i think. that one day i'll lose one of them or they'll bottle up everything and never even give me a chance. i joke a lot about my only redeeming quality being that i'm funny, entertaining, chaotic, whatever you want to call it, but isn't it? what good would i be if i cant help anyone, and can't entertain them either?

i want to find a purpose for myself, something that makes me worthy to myself outside of what other people think, but i just don't know what

[Branaynay16]

Am I the only one who feels so depressed and frustrated during this quarantine?

I’m at my breaking point, I’ve lost friends and family over the past year, I had COVID, and my mental heath is at a crash and burn status, where I don’t know if I’m mentally, or physically prepared for tomorrow....

My body aches in pain and I feel like I’m mentally drained.

I have trichotillomania among other disorder and mental illnesses and I feel like nobody is talking about how mental illness is being affected during quarantine. I’m out of a job right now, and it’s like pulling tooth and nail to have anybody call me back.

I feel alone.

This may sound depressing but i want this thread to give people a place to talk about what’s going on instead of ignoring it.

I hope I’m not breaking any guidelines but I just want to talk to someone, and not have to pay an obscene amount of money like a counselor.

[dog motif]

im moving house today... which I am equally excited and sad about.
I don’t want to leave the place I learnt to love behind. Somehow I made a connection with my old house and the beautiful trees in the garden - what will I do without their company? I don’t want to leave behind the place I grew up with.
And on top of it all, I can’t find my cat. I’ve found one of them, so all we need to do is lure her into the portable cat-carrier and she’ll be fine. I’m just more worried about my second cat. She’s been gone for a few weeks now. I’m so scared we’ll have to move without her. What if she comes back and we’re not there? And the worst part is, I don’t know what happened to her. I don’t think I ever will. She’s a farm cat, she knows how to survive, fight, and hunt, but I really want to know what happened to her. I hope she’s happy. As long as she’s happy, I’m happy. Atleast I have my other cat. I couldn’t bear be without at least one of them.

[idiosyncrasy]

i can't say much or go into detail but.. i honestly just want to break down and cry. i get to see my boyfriend today but i'm so scared. i should be happy to see him. but i don't want to look as myself and i don't want other people to look at me either, especially not him. i feel like throwing up when i see myself in the mirror. i feel horrible. ruined.

also i really miss somebody that i shouldn't but i can't help it. i don't even know why anymore.

i really can't take anymore of this. it hurts so bad, but i have to pretend that i'm okay. it's halloween. i'm happy. everybody is happy because it's a holiday. everybody is happy. everybody is happy.

i know i should probably call a hotline or something, but they don't help. they don't know me. they'll never understand how bad it really is. how much it hurts me. nobody ever will, except for me. i don't want to go to the hospital again even though i need it more than ever. i don't know how to fix myself and i really don't think i can anymore. i'm trying my best but obviously it's not enough, right? why is this happening still? i thought i was going in the right direction.

[venti]

i hate myself.
everything i do is bad luck.
one small mistake, like breaking a chair, turns into commotion and may leave me in tears.

i don't know how to get rid of this bad luck, but i know it will stick.
why?
because i'm bad luck.

go away.

[pthumerian]

just had a badly destructive collapse because I got triggered with something, haven't been triggered by this specific thing so badly since years. I still can't distance myself from it, I thought I had learned that, but I was wrong.

[pictochat]

maybe i'm being too weird

i should stop

i always scare people away

[bärbel]

everything is going bad in this world.
i don’t want to be here anymore.
but there is nowhere else to be.

i am sad.
everything is bad.

[Lostfairy]

Maybe I'm too loud? I've always wondered that. I think I'm getting better at keeping my mouth shut but I still have times where all I do is blabber about things that are on my mind. But my mind runs in circles, I pick, like, 5 things, and that will be all I think of for weeks.

But what if I'm just too loud? People must be tired of hearing me talk about the things I like. Right?

Why does my mind work like this? And why must my mouth allow the things I think about spill out and let everyone hear what's been going on up here? Nothing. Just thoughts of those few things.

My brain just recycles thoughts about stupid fictional characters or music artists I like over and over and over. I like these thoughts but I hate how it makes me want to talk and talk and talk about them but no ones listening or I'm too scared to say them because everyone's heard this before, when I talked about it last time.

Random but dangit. This again. This stupid hope that I'll find someone and I don't and I get this dumb heavy weight on my heart. It makes me want to cry. But dangit, it's stupid to cry over this. Who cares? I didn't need to talk to them about this... it's fine.

I'm sad. I'm disappointed. I'm immature but I can't ever grow up and shake this feeling.

[just peachy!]

im so lonely for normal human interaction,
i hate being alone
ive ruined literally all my relationships this year.
sabotaged them and pushed ppl away
i dont know why i purposely mess things up
when i feel like this when im by myself
i hate being in an empty house
im so sick of living like this.
i dont know how to cope