TheComfortCorner | V.9

[grapebats]

i'm really lonely and i know it's mostly my fault

i was overthinking and i started thinking about how i'm not really excited about halloween this year even though it used to be my favorite holiday. i thought that i would still be with my now ex girlfriend and we would go see rocky horror in the theater and i would be able to hang out with her and go to her halloween party. i was counting on that to be my entertainment for halloween since i don't usually do anything anymore and remembering that made me realize how i've just gotten progressively lonelier this year. losing my girlfriend also caused me to lose a fun group of friends that i was finally starting to feel like i was a part of. all of that happened months ago and i'm mostly over it and used to it now but it still gets me down sometimes. things were starting to look up again not too long ago because i reconnected with some old friends, but now i've distanced myself because of a lot of stress surrounding my health. i'm constantly worried that the one person i talk to consistently is mad at me too which doesn't feel great. i wish i could make new friends but i don't know how. i've graduated and don't really go anywhere because of the pandemic and i'm not sure how to approach people on the internet either. i used to be a lot better at making friends both online and in person but it feels like i just forgot what to do. i'm just really sick of the misfortune this year. every time it feels like things are getting better something else happens. my mom died at the beginning of the year, i had a not so great relationship that eventually ended, the pandemic happened and my mental health crashed, i had (have) no idea what to do with my life after i graduated, i found people to talk to and decided to try and work on my mental health, and now my physical health is questionable and i'm mostly alone again. i spend most of my days wondering if something is seriously wrong with me and just trying to distract myself from it. i'm in such a low place right now and i'm there all by myself. everyone i care about is either tired of me or has someone they'd rather be talking to or both

[䏠xote]

i really just won't ever have a normal october, huh.

[ghostie✞]

i chose to be vulnerable and you chose to take advantage of that. so tell me why i should trust you.

i was willing to give everything for you but you weren't willing to give me a damn thing back were you? despite promising me the world. despite promising to keep me safe from those who would hurt me. but who knew you would be the one i needed to be protected from all along?

[dog motif]

fairly sure i have anxiety
but I dont want to tell anyone for the fear of
them not understanding

[bean the umbreon]

everything is so stressful, I have literally 2-3 tests a day this week. We're automatically expected to get full marks on everything and our mental health is not even cared about. Life doesn't seems to help me, it just makes it worse instead. Now I easily get stressed over everything and just a minor problem can make me have a mental breakdown.
Ugh, I really hate life these days

[-Cryptic-]

God.. why can't I just forget. I don't want to remember it anymore. As soon as I can, I'm leaving. I can't stay near him anymore. It's not even safe. He should be in jail. But he's blood, so I should love him right? I shouldn't hate him even after all he's done? He ruined our lives, and you expect me to love him?
...

[soul wounds.]

cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
yeah, just ghost me. it's cool.

[pthumerian]

I have no idea when and how I'm supposed to do all the things I'm supposed to do. My brain feels broken and I only want to be left in peace.

[PeachyPie]

-

[miissingyou]

even the people who were supposed to help me ignore my problems. i just want someone who cares. is that so hard to ask for? maybe that's why my profile quote is 'love, love, love, love, no'. because i can't trust anyone, and clearly no one wants to trust me. i miss having friends who were there for me when i really needed them.