honey & spice wrote:the last 24 hours or so have just been comically terrible, like the kind of day you see in a cartoon where just everything that can go wrong will go wrong. it sucks.
honey & spice wrote:i have seriously had the worst luck for three days in a row now. I don’t know what’s going on, but this is getting ridiculous. It’s just one thing after the next, all piling up.
i'm so sorry to hear all this, it's actually awful. and when one thing goes wrong in a day, everything else does. your favourite jumper gets caught on a door knob, your nails break, you trip over a pebble and 20 people saw. but at least tomorrow is a new day. waking up with the mindset that it'll probably be another awful day often sets us up for a bad day, as we begin looking for small things to destroy our vision of the good parts of the day. when you wake up think of five things you are grateful for, and take a walk. make a playlist full of songs that make you happy or treat yourself to your favourite breakfast that you rarely eat. it's okay to reward us on days that feel like it's been a rough week, and at least tomorrow is sunday so you can get a fresh start and mindset to the week on monday. sending you all my luck and love!
Corgislove wrote:love having a mental break down on my birthday and crying because im such a bad person apparently according to my bf.
boyfriends can be awful, trust me, firsthand experience. especially on birthdays ?? why do boyfriends feel like they can be jerks ? on my birthday a few years ago my boyfriend told me to shut up. often times they don't realise what they are saying. now, there is no excuse. if he makes you unhappy don't stay with him; but it is a lot easier said than done. you are not a bad person, you know you aren't. nothing starts from nothing, something earlier in the day must have made him tick to have low patience ? it is your birthday, the 'attention' should be on you, but he probably felt 'less important' yesterday. talk to him about it and your feelings and how it made you feel. understand where he is coming from. my boyfriend called me a burden but once i sat down with him it just turns out he didn't really understand mental health and the horrible weight that word carries and it got talked about and sorted through. i hope you are okay, and a happy belated birthday to you <3
Spearow wrote:you know i really just don't understand life.
i know i just posted earlier but i need to get
this out. i've lost two old friends this year.
one this week and the other two months ago.
he got ran over on his birthday, and the other
just died "suddenly" (his family won't say what
happened.)
we're still so young. so why are my classmates
who always had a smile on their face for everyone
the ones that are dying? like people that actually
enjoyed life and families and had goals and were
happy. then here i am, anxious when i go to sleep
anxious when i get up. don't get along with my family,
i hate my job i'm not happy. i have no aspirations. so why
do bad things keep happening to people who are enjoying
their lives and have super close-knit families and friends.
it really makes no sense and makes me feel a weird pang
of guilt, like why them and not me?
edit; literally just got scolded for crying by my mom,
because we already "talked about this earlier". oh so
apparently there is a set time period to be upset that
someone you've known for like eight years died. what
kind of twisted logic is that? so i can't be sad that he is
dead when i just found out today? what?
i am so so sorry to hear about your two friends; losing people is awful and there are no words that can help with grief except time will heal. it's nearly been a year and i'm still heavily grieving for my nan. ignore what your mom said; life happens, yes, but that does not mean you can feel upset about something. take as long as you need to grieve and heal, okay?
the best people often have the worst things happen to them; my nan, the kindest person i knew, had cancer twice in her life and it ended up taking her. friends who have never done anyone harm have been diagnosed with awful diseases and illnesses and have not lived. we are all very lucky to be living on this earth, especially during this time. the technology, the medicine, the entertainment we have around us! this typa stuff did not exist back in the 1400's when people were dropping like flies as soon as they came out the womb. we are fortunate and it is important to not lose sight of this.
throughout life it is often thought that the best people have the worst things happen to them. but, what makes those people the best is that they are not bitter about the world. the world owes no one anything, and they acknowledge that and accept it. they take life with a pinch of salt and enjoy the small things. try to remember the great life your two friends had, and the great life you have / will have.
i understand you are not happy with life at the moment, but sit back and think what is making you so anxious. do you need to speak to someone? write it down? write down all the stresses in your life, and try to eliminate them one by one. leave your job and replace it; we have one life. do not live it miserably. you got this.
yeji wrote:i dont understand what i did wrong.... i feel like ive attacked someone or something when really all i was trying to do was be nice and help someone???? i feel really hurt and upset and down and i dont know what to do now...
sit back and think through the situation. step by step. what happened? put yourself in someone elses shoes. how would they have seen the situation? your words? did you spell the words out?? can they read into things? do they understand hints and tips or do you literally need to say something?
did they ask for help? did they ask for advice? did you word it nicely? were you blunt?
we live life with a lot of 'what if' questions which can harm our mental health, but also this is useful to think over situations when you are feeling like this. confront the person. ask them what you did wrong. if they explain show you are sorry. don't just say "okay, i'm sorry". people hear that word too often, it gets thrown around too much. it needs to be shown. not literally like buy them gifts. i just mean write a paragraph or something with more than just 'i am sorry' and explain your side of the story.
it will get sorted and if they are meant to be in your life, they will be. good luck love <3
Taf900 wrote:I'm in this ideal relationship right like I never feel like I have anything to complain abt. But these last couple weeks have been super tensious because she'll be going back to school and I'm staying home. I dont know how long it will be before I'll see her again but I'm trying to figure out things to do with her. Two weeks ago she went to a party with some medical residents and got sick like potentially covid and so I wasnt allowed to see her. She leaves in two days. So two more weeks turned into one more day (just tomorrow). Which I'm super grateful that we get that still. But she's getting stressed about school and has basically flat out told me she doesn't have time to talk to me even though she spends hours watching TV every day. She's gotten short and I'll ask her how things are bc I know they are super stressful right now and shell answer with a couple words basically to cover it all up.
I guess I'm feeling like I'm putting in way more than she is and I don't want to feel that way like it makes me feel bad to even think that and she can be really sensitive so I have a hard time talking to her about some of this stuff.
I mentioned stuff about the party stuff to her and how it hurt that she knowingly took that risk and she broke down feeling like everything is all her fault and I never want her to feel like that.
Idk I just need to get that out and I can't talk to my other close friend bc she had a crush on me until I basically got her Baker acted. Like we're good now but it hurts her for me to talk abt this to her.
Thanks for listening I guess
the hurt you are feeling is completely normal! you thought two weeks and you get a day. i am in the exact same situation with my boyfriend right now. it is rude if she has said she doesn't have the time to talk to you. if you want something or someone in life, you make the time for them. not my place to say because you are happy but if they can't be bothered to make the time for you it's time to rethink it. confront her about how her saying that made you feel ? if she can be so sensitive she should know what to say and what not to say, because that in my opinion is rude.
relationships are not always 50/50. some months it will be 80/20 or 60/40. it's to be expected as sometimes you give sometimes you take and that's okay. you never want her to feel like that but also it's healthy to accept and understand when someone in the relationship is in the wrong otherwise you will get nowhere. relationships are all about communication and if she breaks down every second going "it's all my fault ! just leave me !" it's toxic.
i'm glad you are happy as we all need happiness, especially this time of year, but also i worry for how she plays the victim card. it's okay to accept when someone is in the wrong and if you feel all these things it's best to talk to her about it all. good luck <3
crylics, wrote:my boyfriend and I broke up.
I found that he messaged his ex back in April saying he missed what they had and he wanted to know if she missed him and what they had.
He said he didn’t think about her anymore. But I know he does. So I just broke it off and it was mutual and we’re still friends.
He’s done this to me twice in our 9 month relationship. I feel empty and hurt.
honey you are so strong. that is a feeling that is so heart breaking to feel the distrust in someone you love and trust. him breaking your trust and love was his choice, he made his bed. delete him off all social media and delete your conversations.
staying friends makes the healing process much more painful. i stayed friends with my ex and then i ended up getting back together with him (we do love a bit of willpower). staying friends will only damage you more; you may find yourself constantly checking up his social media or being reminded of the memories and the hurt. it's okay to put yourself first in this situation. and remember you are not alone. there are so many people here for you and surrounding you. have patience with the healing process. you deserve better <3
Tifa wrote:lmao im such a screwup all i do is suck
from what i see of you, you are not. you are amazing and i do not know many people that bring such positive and beautiful vibes and energy like you do. you are in no way a screwup and i feel as though this may just be your mind plaguing you.
you are worthy and loved by so many members of this community and so many people around you. whatever is troubling you right now will not matter this time in a week or a month or a year, okay? anything we find trouble in life is just a learning curve for us. we learn to overcome it and we learn from our past to avoid it in the future. you got this <3
Woebegone wrote:It feels like everything I do or say is a cry for help at this point.
God, I feel so hopeless.
Why doesn’t anything help?
years of suffering and for what?
I don’t know what to do anymore.
sit back and relax. you're okay. and it's okay to not be okay. it's not a cry for help, and even if it is, so what? you want help and you are asking for it. that is an amazing step in life that many people are hesitant to take. there's not much i can truly say here, no advice for any specific things except to just hold on, okay? here's your hope. there is no cringey "light at the end of the tunnel" here, okay? journey of recovery is tough, it is hard. it is not easy. but with strong mentality you got this.
i am always available for you
Spearow wrote:i'm feeling really heartbroken. my 'best friend' has been treating me like total garbage. being secretive and going behind my back. we are old enough to not be as childish as she is being. i've always trusted her, for the past 12 years. i only have one other friend besides her.
a few weeks ago i asked her if she would go somewhere with me. i wanted to go on a day trip with her. a place she loves and i can hardly afford. she answered with a 'maybe', when i didn't give any specific date or time, just sometime in the future. 'Maybe'.
i'm not stupid, when she says maybe it means no. so i went somewhere more affordable and got what i needed to get. we happen to work together now that we're both starting our careers. i haven't seen her in a few days. she's usually late getting in so i assumed she was just late.
this morning a coworker called off because she had second degree burns from the sun. i was talking to a couple guy workers about it, and one asked the other what the sunburnt coworker was doing to get that burned. and he said she went on a boat, with (another coworker), and my best friend.
so my 'best friend' gives me a maybe for unspecific plans. and meanwhile she goes behind my back and plans a trip with the girls at my work, and they all kept it a secret from me. i found out this morning.
no invite, guess i'm too much of an embarrassment to have around. don't want a queer around a bunch of religious girls.
can't even talk to my s/o about it because all he will say after i try to talk to him about this is "bummer deal" because he is emotionally constipated.
i really wish i had someone right now, i feel so alone in this world. i feel out of place. i wasn't meant for this world i don't fit anywhere
i'm such an idiot and i feel sick to my stomach. i haven't confronted her yet. think it might be time to cut ties. its too pathetic to chase after a friend who obviously doesn't care about me anymore. i'm so sad, this week keeps getting worse and worse
hey, this is your mind making you think this way. don't jump to the conclusion of "guess i'm too much of an embarrassment to have around. don't want a queer around a bunch of religious girls" because that may not be the case. sometimes people just need other people to be around. saying that, your friend may have also felt uncomfortable with the idea of inviting you to be around people you aren't friends with? i understand that is how you meet other people but maybe she wants to keep friends separate from other friends? i have three different sets of friends that i want to keep away from each other. don't take it as a personal attack.
saying that, you are in the right to confront her about the 'maybe' situation and say how it hurts she couldn't give you an answer to something you planned but gladly did that without telling you. it's unfair on you. but the week is almost over, and a new one is about to begin, okay? hopefully the next won't be as bad as this one. as i said hearly to honey & spice,
waking up with the mindset that it'll probably be another awful day often sets us up for a bad day, as we begin looking for small things to destroy our vision of the good parts of the day
you will be okay and this situation is awful but temporary. as i said, don't jump to conclusions and attack your friend for it. have an adult conversation with her. listen to her side of the story. good luck <3
------------------------
if you ever feel down or need a shoulder to cry on, my inbox is open. i have gathered links to help everyone when they need a distraction or are feeling low:
to help you smile:
list of little things - list of little things to help make you smile and be happy
smile things - cute colours and tumblr page to help you out
adorable - basically another tumblr that does the same as the ones above
to help you with anything else / distractions:
emergency compliments - if you ever feel poo, and nothing seems to cheer you up, this site is full of 'emergency compliments' which can make you laugh at how ridiculously brilliant they are.
casanova - where you stretch the giraffes neck to kiss other giraffes - like a soothing video game.
thunderstorms - control them!<3
how to change your life - just read it. it's amazing. too good.
player two - if you're feeling hurt or upset, visit here. it's a game. it's good.
koalas - if you're in need of a distraction that lasts a good five minutes, play this. it's fun, and if you love koalas it's even better!
stick man game - good distraction with a hopefuly message i made at the end!
random acts of kindness (video) - may make you feel all warm and gooey at how kind people are
list of things for those having a bad day!
quiet place project - one of my favourite places <3
comfort box - i highly recommend looking at this because it's the most amazing idea i've ever seen
ground box - similar to the one above
to help you with panic attacks:
i have loads of things that can help with your anxiety and panic attacks.
facts !!!!:
what not to say !!! - to someone who is having a panic attack, do not say these things
HERE IS SOME UPLIFTING NEWS IN THE TIMES OF THE BAD
'karunavirus'
'reddit'
'positivenews'
'huffpost'
'culture'
TUMBLR
i made a tumblr a few years ago, but just recently remembered my log in details. i hope to start using it again.
