TheComfortCorner | V.8

[Winstalgia]

the anticipation, anxiety, just everything is eating me alive right now.

Just please fetch me so we can talk about it already! I know it hasn't even been a day yet, but I'm getting impatient for the answer...

[breadstick]

so i definitely needed to be forced out of the house without my binder today into a public place where i absolutely did not pass at all and i absolutely needed to be told that im an embarrassment to be seen outside with and i 100% warranted being told that im a complete and utter mess and a disappointment !!
and of course, crying in front of a complete stranger in the middle of a bank because youre so confused and scared and upset and having a panic attack is always very fun!! we love reliving childhood traumas !! :)
now i never want to go outside again! thank you very much for that confidence boost , thank you for dragging up so many dark thoughts, thank you for acting like it was all my fault despite knowing im depressed and dysphoric and cracking under the stress of exams

[goobi the sociable]

i kind of had a realization last night. i've never met another person of color with internalized racism who has experienced the same amount of pure disgust and hatred toward themselves that i have. i'm starting to think i might be alone in this.

[0009]

so. he finally rejects me. after one year. a proper rejection. i'm happy. but also, i would like to believe to be understandably, a little saddened.

[clove sevina]

Can anyone please pm me......I'm a wreck again....

[rover]

i visited the hospital with my mother today to see how my blood test results came out. took my weight and blood pressure(s) while i was sitting, standing, and lying down.
turns out.. i’m at a healthy weight now (hurray!) and have enough nutrients in my blood (yay!) but...
my blood pressure is quite low... it was very borderline. they said if it was any lower, they would have sent me to the er. close call!! yikes!
i guess my body is still messed up, even though it’s been over a month since i started eating well again. just goes to show how much damage i did to myself in a short span of seven months...
another appointment in two weeks, to see my progress. i hope i’m better then, because the doctors informed me that if the results didn’t improve they’ll send me to the er. :(

[mossmuttz]

you’re funny.

[rubyrocketboots13]

First day of summer semester was today. It started off so well! I thought I'd be okay, but then everything started falling apart. I wish I could talk to my friend. He always make me feel so much better after a bad panic attack or a bad bout of depression. I'll see him tomorrow, but I'm still scared and hurt now. It's too late to text him and I can't work up the courage to text him anyway. I wish I wasn't so pathetic and needy all the time. I feel like such a waste of space.

[cKy]

just a rant, feeling pressured

im so sick of you.
you're so passive aggressive i feel like im going to puke.
stop it.
stop trying to make me feel like im in the wrong for being
traumatized after what you've done to and around me.
stop trying to make me feel like im a horrible person
for wanting them out because they keep fighting and
it makes me want to vomit and cry and punch a wall.
seems like you wont care until i do something about it.
then you care.
you dont care when i cry, or scream, or try to tell you whats
bothering me, or when im not doing well in school or getting
up in the morning or only have one friend who actually talks
to me everyday (but not everyday because the umbrella damn
academy is more important than me sometimes)
you only care when i finally act out.
i think that that probably doesn't send the best message to me.
its making me sick.
i want to leave.
let me leave.

[skyline]

vent. it's nothing.


nothing i enjoyed doing when i was younger, or exhibited behaviors turned out as a talent, or latched on to me as i grew. i used to love writing, drawing, and a bunch of other stuff that i suppose 4-6 year olds don't typically care about. yet i really don't have any unique talents, at all? i cannot draw, write, i don't even have a learner's permit yet. i'm far over the age for it. i need to get involved with something. i wish i didn't have all these issues to add on to it all. is it just because i'm lazy? i wish i could do something interesting. maybe i'll figure something out as i get older, and as i get a life.