by a small animal » Sun Apr 07, 2019 8:16 pm
I have an unfixable problem with falling in love, the reason being that I do it way too often and I don’t even know if it’s real love because I don’t know if I’ve ever felt love because I’ve never been on the receiving end of it. it is impossible for me to just ‘like’ someone, I have to end up being so obsessed with them that my mood drops whenever I’m not around them and I start to feel like they’re betraying me. Worst of all nobody gets that I’ve literally never been loved by anyone who isn’t family, not so much as a crush, and you’re all thinking ‘aw that’s not true’ but i don’t know how to explain any more that as far as my school goes my name is a synonym for unattractive. the closest I ever got to being in a relationship was with someone who was meeting me for the first time, and after they had gotten to know me more they straight up chose my best friend over me, and she accepted not knowing I cared because ‘I thought you didn’t like anyone like that.’ no. not only do I like people, I get so deeply obsessed with them that the only way I can be happy is by being with them 24/7, and of course I don’t stalk people or whatever but I honestly dread finding out what I’d be like in a relationship because I can snap from clingy to so shy you won’t know I exist in an instant.
hello I’m a small animal and this is my low effort signature
🍊do I even exist? Idk🍊
